Californication "And Justice for All" Review

I may have to watch last night's finale again because I'm not sure I "got it." Yes, Hank escaped with just probation, community service and a fine but where does that leave him? Karen has obviously moved on with Ben. He blew it with Abbey because as she put it he's "too fucked up" for her. He took Becca's advice and moved out of the hotel. The last we see of Hank he's speeding down the California highway with all his possessions packed into his Porsche. Is he leaving LA? Can he leave California while on probation? Is he heading to the desert for the Jim Morrison experience to find his destiny? Where is Hank headed? I don't know. What I do know is that I loved about 2/3 of the finale and absolutely hated the other 1/3.

When I saw the previews of Hank passing out in court, I assumed it was him passing out just before the sentencing and waking up to find out he had gotten probation. If the preview didn't clue you in the the episodes title should have been a dead give away. I'm not upset by the verdict and sentencing. I never considered him guilty of statutory rape and there's personal growth that can be gained from Hank's brush with the law. However, if I were the judge I would have told him I intended to sentence him to probation but after his smartass statement he earned 30 days in jail along with probation. I'm vindictive like that though.

The dinner party at Stu's was absolute gold. I could have lived without Eddie Nero and Sasha but I understand their presence. For the sake of every Californication fan, I hope we never have to see Rob Lowe as Eddie Nero ever again. Only slightly less irritating was Charlie's nutball girlfriend. Her little dirty antics grew tiresome faster than Charlie Sheen's. The first time she wanted Charlie to pretend he was her brother while they had sex was funny and wrong but by last night's episode the humor had completely evaporated into fumes of crappy unwelcomed screen time. Minus her stabbing Charlie at dinner. That did make me laugh.

Of course Charlie still loves Marcy. He didn't divorce her, she divorced him despite his constant attempts to win her back. Why was this even a question? No that everyone knows she carrying Charlie's baby, what is their future? Does she stay with Stu? That what it looked like during the long closing montage. I'm cool with that. I found Stu more often than not funny plus lest we forget he's "rich as fuck and hung like a moose."

Even though I thought the dinner party was hilarious, I didn't care for the interaction between Hank and Ben. I get it that Ben is a better person than Hank but I have trouble accepting that he'd just sit there and take jab after jab from Hank. At some point, Hank just looks like a bully and Ben doesn't seem like the kind of guy that allows himself to be bullied. Honestly, I have know idea what the "Black Jesus" was supposed to represent when he save Hank in the pool. Maybe, Ben is the person that not only saves Hank's life but also saves Karen and Becca from Hank's self destruction. Maybe, Ben is the example that saves Hank from Hank's self destruction.

OK now on to the 1/3 I hated. The 7 or so minute montage of Hank on the movie set was terribly executed and overall dumb. I'm not going to question Hank sleeping with the actress playing Karen because that's just Hank doing what Hank do. I will say I couldn't stand the flashes of the real Karen and Becca with the actors playing them. I thought the entire montage was pointless. It didn't add any additional meaning to the lessons of the season or further the relationship between the three in a good or bad way. Like about a third of this season's episodes the montage was just cinematic masturbation. Visuals to stimulate and evoke emotions without actually furthering the characters.

Overall, season 4 was a step in the right direction after a terrible third season but the character of Hank stagnated. His failure to learn from his past and grow as a person has become a detriment not only to his family but to his likability as a character. The fifth season needs to further Hank as a person. Otherwise he faces becoming a caricature of himself and the show following he same precipitous decline that doomed Entourage.

Californication "The Last Supper" Review

So what would you do if you were convicted of felony and facing sentencing in a day or so? Well if you're Hank Moody you'd get shit faced, sex your lawyer, visit your daughter, your favorite hooker, you best friend and then spend the evening at a party in your honor with friends and family. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad day, except for the convicted part of course.

Just as I had predicted, Hank was found guilty of statutory rape. It was obvious throughout the episode that Hank was nervous and off his game. His usual wit was absent and his jokes fell flat. In other words, he was more human than normal. It was an episode for Hank to feel the gravity of his situation. He was finally accepting blame for being his own worst enemy.

Unbelievably, the truest and best scenes of the episode involved Becca. I'm not a big fan of Madeleine Martin's acting but I thought she did quite well tonight. Becca's had to be the adult more often than a child should where Hank is involved and she didn't hold back on letting him know that. Her life is exhibit A of the downside of having the "cool" parent. She expressed to Hank that sometimes all she wishes is that he was a regular dad who came home from work and did normal dad things. As cool as Hank may seem to us, this is one of those moments you are able to see the hidden consequences of being his kid.

Hank's tour of LA is actually kind of sad. Who does he really have to turn to in his time of emotional need? He's alienated Karen. Charlie is little help in this type of situation and everyone else either hates or wants to use him. He's carved out a rather lonely pathetic situation for himself. Who else could he turn to but his hooker with a golden heart? But Hank doesn't need sex from her. He could get laid by any number of women. What he needs is someone who will listen to him. Allow him to be vulnerable and comfort him.

Just as we see Hank thinking about running from his fate, he's called home to a surprise party with Karen, Charlie, Karen and Becca. The show lost something when the split these two couples up and the writers all but admit that through Becca's assessment. The interplay, conversations and chemistry between these two couples was a show highlight waiting to happen. Marcy and Charlie were always better together even with their problems than either has been apart. Hank and Karen are the natural partners for them. Hank a catalyst to take every situation to the next level and Karen is there to ground everyone. If this is the last time we see the two couples together then is was a good last time with dirty stories, drunken confessions and stoned realizations.

Throughout the night you can see Hank trying to sell Karen on the magic of their relationship. Karen isn't buying. She knows their relationship has reached the end of the road and now it's her job to make Hank see that too. She still loves Hank but love isn't enough when it comes to being with a guy like Hank. She's willing to give herself to him one last time. Maybe it's because he could be going away for a long time or maybe it's because she needs a final chapter for her story with Hank but for one more night she's going to be his. In the morning, it will all be over.

So what sentence does Hank get? How does the season end?

Random Thoughts:

• I guess we've seen the last of Ben and Pearl this season?
• Seems like the least Mia could do is throw Hank one last mercy lay. She owes him that much right?
• I really didn't like the way everyone found out about the guilty verdict. There's no way Charlie and Karen wouldn't have been in the courtroom when that came down.
• I could do without Rob Lowe coming back next week.

Californication "The Trial" Review

"The Trial" was a nice little episode to show us how we got here. There was some high comedy, a little "OK I knew that already" and one little bombshell. In the end nothing has been resolved but we are set up to see what fate has in store for Hank Moody.

My biggest complaint with this episode is that I think we deserved an entire episode of Runkle on the witness stand. Hell, I might go for a "Charlie Runkle: Lawyer to the Stars" series. If we never heard mention of the squirter incident again it would have been a crime. Kudos to the writers for that but I think we could have used a flashback to help illustrate.

I'm a proponent of more screen time for Mia but I thought her performance on the witness stand was a little hard to believe at best. The last we saw of her she was getting Hank loaded, trying to have a threesome with him and Sasha and causing him more trouble by posing for pictures with her hand down his pants. I don't dispute that she feels guilty about what is happening to him but her testimony on her relationship with Karen was way too hokey.

Lets get to the point of the episode. Hank's going to jail. The whole point of the flashback to a blitz Hank talking to Mia with the sun in his eyes was to give the jury the evidence to convict him but the views the inside knowledge that Hank really didn't knowingly sleep with a 16 year old. Hank's going to prison probably for 6 months to a year. Next season will pick up with his release. My assumption is Hank trying to put his life back together after prison will be the basis for season 5. Maybe I'm wrong but doesn't it seem like the Hank Moody character needs a life altering event like this to grow and move forward?

I would welcome Karen finally breaking ties with Hank but I'm not a fan of her reaction to learning that Hank and Mia had met before the bookstore encounter. Hank is a lot of things bad but a liar has never been one. If anyone besides Runkle is going to believe Hank isn't lying about not knowing Mia it should be Karen. She should know that if anything Hank is truthful to a fault. His inability to lie or smooth over the truth gets him into as much trouble as anything else.

What does the road ahead look like? Like I stated before, I think Hank will be found guilty. The rest of this season will involve Hank coming to terms with his childish behavior and the damage he's done by refusing to take anything seriously. He'll have to get his affairs in order before he goes away for a while. Those affairs, I assume will include mending his relationship with Becca and hopefully resolving to let Karen go her own way. We still have the issue of Marcy being pregnant. Runkle has to find out it's his kid, right? It'll be an emotional ride either way with Hank getting enough sex on to last his extended stay at the Hotel State Penitentiary.

Random Notes:

• That was a much needed break from the Stu saga.
• I haven't mentioned this before but casting deserves a lot of credit for finding an actor and actress with matching butt chins to play Bill and Mia.
• I'm still waiting to see some great lawyering out of Abbey.

Californication "Another Perfect Day" Review

So here we are the weekend before Hank goes on trial and he's sleeping in his car because he owes the hotel $25k.

Most of this week's episode frustrated the shit out of me. Make that most of this season has frustrated the shit out of me. At least where Hank is concerned. Remember way back in episode two when Hand drank too much and took too many pills then wrote a beautiful letter to his daughter? It seemed as though Hank had had an epiphany. He had finally realized the damage he was doing not only to himself but to his kid. We didn't need to see a complete 180 in Hank's behavior but even a minor attempt to change would have been a welcomed reprieve. At some point watching Hank go from girl to girl, making witty comments and pining over Karen gets boring without a hint of personal growth. You could have completely removed episode two from this season and nothing would have changed. That is either a wasted opportunity or writing masturbation.

After an episode of pure debauchery we're back to seeing Hank spending time with Karen and Becca. I hate the scenes where Hank is making jokes, being dad and Karen and Becca are laughing and eating it all up. The jokes aren't that funny. I'd rather see Hank struggling with those jokes and being obviously humored by Karen and Becca. Aside from these few minutes it's obvious they've lost all remaining respect for him. Why fake it then? Hank seems to have accepted Karen's new relationship though a few barbs here and there still fee good. We did get one a touching story about how Hank was jealous because he used to be that guy anxiously waiting for Karen to come to the door and now it's Ben.

Following the girls wrecking Hank's car we finally get a poignant conversation between Hank and Karen. Hank obviously wants things to return to his idealized version of normal. The three of them living together as a family. Karen is quick to point out that they can't return to that place because Monday morning they'll wake up, take Becca to school and then drive Hank to his trial for raping a teenaged girl. Now I liked this conversation because Hank doesn't get enough "real talk" in his life. He surrounds himself with sycophants and you women who couldn't spell sycophant. My issue is Karen's emphasis on Hank "raping" a teenager. The show has gone a long way to point out that Karen is both book smart and street smart. She might hound him for having sex with Mia but I she would undoubtedly find his relationship with Mia being defined as rape as ridiculous. Yet she seemed fixed on the term last night. That really bugged me especially with he knowledge of the kind of person Mia is.

So next week we finally get to the trial. Looks like Bill returns to testify against Hank and we get the obligatory Karen freak out over the whole thing. I assume we'll see Marcy and Runkle inch closer to resolving their feelings towards one another. Runkle was visibly upset by Marcy's news of being pregnant with Stu's baby. Marcy at the same time didn't want to tell Runkle because, well it's Runkle's kid and she's got unresolved feelings for him as well. The stuff with Charlie and the real estate agent isn't working for me so hopefully that relationship hits the skids soon. I'm excited to finally get more Abbey. She's been terribly underused this season but the trial should be her time to shine.

Californication "Lights, Camera, A**hole" Review

I'm gonna make this short. There was almost nothing redeeming about tonight's episode whatsoever. It's Californication though, so you have to expect that from time to time.

Hank spent 80% of the episode fucking either Sasha or her mother. This should not surprise you. That's just how Hank Moody rolls. What should surprise everyone is his reaction to discovering Becca's burgeoning problem with drugs and alcohol. He appeared to be saddened but what bothered me is that his concern was far greater when Mia was getting strung out on drugs than he is for Becca. You know his kid that he claims is his only reason for living. I'm not going to tell you Hank's ever been a respectable character but he was at least partially grounded by Becca.

Are we seeing the season in which Hank completely breaks loose of his tether? Maybe the writers want to take Hank into the Charlie Sheen stratosphere of debauchery and selfishness. I can't argue against it being entertaining. I do wonder if they don't start reeling Hank in a bit if viewers will begin to lose the last bits of connection to Hank as he loses the his last tattered shreds of humanity.

Other thoughts:

• I believe I called Stu thinking Marcy's baby is his weeks ago. Very predictable.
• The only humor in the episode was Runkle's sex scene with the realtor. 
• I still haven't figured out why that scene was even written into the script.
• I didn't miss Karen at all.
• I did miss Zoe Kravitz.

Californication "The Recused" Review

Hank Moody's worst days are when he's not getting in trouble. But "The Recused" wasn't about Hank Moody. Well OK, it was about Hank but Marcy that little foul mouthed power pack stole tonight's episode from Hank and rode it for all it was worth.

As bad and boring as Karen is in every episode, Marcy is conversely that great in every episode and tonight was her apex. How can you not love a woman who says stuff like "don't blame me because you were born with a clit for a cock and a tiny little bean bag for what passes for balls." Her Benjamin Button reference was just as strong later in the episode. If Marcy getting a deal with Showtime to create a show about her waxing the nethers of stars we get more of her on Californication then I'm all for it.

Hank though didn't do anything nearly as exciting as pitching a show to Showtime. Unless, you count Abby. His day started off shitty when he showed up at Karen's to find her at home with her new man, Ben. I liked the way Hank reacted to a new man in Karen's life that he couldn't find a reason to hate. He just got childish and mocking. Bill was an easy target for Hank but Ben is a much bigger challenge. An legitimate artist in a field Hank actually respects and the father of a the talented lead singer in Becca's band. It's bad times for Hank's eternal love for Karen. But at least his eternal love didn't have to go golfing with Abby's boss, Lloyd and his anal fissure.

A humorless corporate stiff attorney isn't like trying to stick a square peg in a round hole. It's like trying to stick a square peg where there is no hole. The worst part of it all is Hank had to just take it minus a few passive aggressive jabs because he's Abby's boss. Probably a small price to pay for sleeping with Abby though. She recused herself earlier in the episode after her and Hank started sleeping together. Don't worry though Hank, all it took was pissing in the sand trap on the 15th hole then wrestling with Lloyd to lure Abby back as your Lawyer. I think it was pretty obvious her job was in much greater jeopardy with Lloyd representing Hank that it is with her representing him with a conflict of interest.

Anyone remember how Lisa Bonet made you reconsider what you though about Peter Frampton's "Baby I Love Your Ways?" Well now her daughter, Zoe Kravitz has done the same with Skid Row's "I'll Remember You." Now I never really hated the Skid Row song but I definitely would rather hear Zoe's acoustic version now.

The episode closes with Karen sitting between Ben and Hank. Both of them reaching over to hold her hand while the girls play their show. At that moment, it seems as though she realizes "oh shit, what am I going to do?" Come on though, it's been three years now and we all know Karen and Hank will never work out. It's time to let Karen move on with Ben. Personally, I'm kind of tired of the whole thing.

Californication "Lawyers, Guns and Money" Review

Here is what Californication is about. It's about Hank, Becca, Charlie and Marcy and if we must include her Karen. It's not about Eddie Nero, Dean Koons, Lew Ashby or even Mia. Too often the writers get caught up in these ancillary characters they've created, fallen in love with on paper and end up wasting entire episodes because they really want us to see how great these characters are. This was one of those episodes.

"Lawyers, Guns and Money" spent way too much time on that wild and crazy guy Eddie Nero. First of all, Rob Lowe is terrible in the role. So terrible that he even did the finger point thing his character Chris does on Parks and Recreation. Beyond how Lowe's awful acting as Eddie, the fake beard is so poorly done it has become distracting. I thankfully missed quite a few of Eddie's lines because I just kept thinking "that is the worst fake beard and mustache I've ever seen." Worst of all, he's not even funny. The whole story about taking a man in his mouth fell completely flat on both Hank and the audience.

OK so you get past how horrid Rob Lowe is and his even more awful beard. You can't get past his revelation that Hank's book is really about "a man trying to keep it together while falling apart." Here's why. We already knew what Californication was really about. We didn't need a forced epiphany by a fictional actor to reaffirm it. I don't ask much but I would like for the writers to give me credit for being smart enough to figure that much out.

Very little else that happened in the episode really matters. Not that the Eddie stuff mattered either. I don't know what they're doing with the Stu and Marcy stuff. I think they just needed to fill six minutes of screen time.

Hank and Abby sleeping together was an inevitability. There are freight trains with more stealth coming down the tracks. Although if the episode had focused on their relationship and Hank trying to convince her to take him back as a client, it would have been a whole hell of a lot more interesting.

As a side note, I'm pretty sure the only reason Sasha was in tonight's episode at all was so that we could see Addison Timlin's tits one last time. I'm not complaining. Just making an observation. That's how Californication rolls.

Basically, at the end of the episode we were right back where we started. Just a little more irritated.

Californication "Freeze-Frame" Review

Sometimes sports and fiction kind of collide to form a magical rainbow. Right after tonight's Super Bowl feature Ben Roethlisberger I turn on Californication with an opening exchange that included this gem.

"How do I look?"

"Like a statutory rapist in a suit."

See what happened there?

Tonight's "Freeze-Frame" episode was truest in a long time and possibly the season. Hank was back to his charming silver tongue ways as he continues to pound away trying to break through Abby's fortress walls. I'm starting to think that Hank is way too reckless and the match with Abby is way too obvious for it to ever happen. What we learned about her tonight is that she digs writers and silver tongue devils. See what I mean? Way too obvious.

Everything falls apart for Hank in the final 10 minutes of the episode. He has to let Karen move on with a new man. Then he puts jeopardizes his own freedom by getting himself photographed in bed with Mia and Sasha. I guess this statutory rape case may not go away as easily as it appeared it would at the beginning of the episode. One day Hank probably should realize only bad shit happens to him when Mia's around and just get the hell away from her.

On the Runkle front we learned that Charlie is kind of a pussy when it comes to blood, but we already knew that. We also found out he's a cheap bastard who probably didn't get a successful vasectomy. Which leads us to the realization we've all seen coming for weeks that Runkle is going to be Marcy's baby's daddy. How else do they keep the stellar Pamela Adlon relevant in the show? We also were reminded that Stu is "rich as fuck and hung like a moose."

One question for you though, is Madeleine Martin (Becca) the worst kid actor since Shane Botwin or is she the best? I can't tell if she's that bad an actress or just playing a bizarrely odd kid. You tell me.