Big Love Series Wrap-up with guest blogger Nicole Zierlein

When Big Love ended last week I knew there was one person who would be equally disappointed in the finally and miss the show next season as much as I would, Nicole Zierlein. Nicole has an excellent blog of her own you should be following and before I even asked her to write something for ApeDonkey she was already working on it. Thanks again Nicole for contributing and the invitation is always open for more.

When Big Love premiered, I was pretty skeptical. How could I watch a show about a man and his three wives even if one of the wives was Chloe Sevigny? Polygamy was not interesting to me in the least, especially considering everything we had seen in the news regarding Warren Jeffs and his followers. The fact that the show was on HBO still didn’t convince me. The first season went by, and I didn’t watch one episode. It wasn’t until my friend told me over and over during season 2 that he could see me in Nicki that I finally decided to give it a chance. (By the time the show ended, this was really more of an insult than the compliment he intended.)

In my opinion, this show was a work of art. It was perfectly cast with Bill Paxton as the husband and Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin as the sister wives. Sure, some of the children weren’t perfect, but as far as the relevant characters go, the cast rocked. The acting in this show was so spot on that my favorite wife changed each season. I found myself identifying with the sister wives more than I ever thought I could. Although, in the end despite what my friend thinks, I am much more Barb than Nicki or Margene.

The show did exactly what Bill tried to do all along: convince us that polygamous unions can work. It showed the practical stuff like who does the shopping? How many moms do the kids have? To the most pressing: when do they have sex with Bill and what do the other wives think about that? Turns out that head wife Barb is really good at organizing things from finances to scheduling which wife slept with Bill on which night. Said schedule could be altered if a wife was trying for a baby.

Big Love took a couple who had been married for years before Bill decided he had a calling to plural marriage. My first question upon watching the show was: how did he convince Barb into doing this? You knew from season 1 that she wasn’t really convinced about the whole plural marriage thing. The more she talked about how much the family meant to her, the more you realized that she was never really on board. How did Bill convince her? Simple, he knew she loved him and would do anything for him. My heart broke for her, which would happen over and over throughout the series. Who can’t understand being manipulated like that?

I loved how the show allowed Barb to find herself more and more each season. And in finding herself, she realized that she didn’t need Bill. We saw Barb as mother extraordinaire, Mother of the Year (almost), return to school and as the person who truly was the heart of the family. She didn’t just run the houses, she made sure the wives were taken care of even when Bill wanted to ignore problems. This season Barb felt called to be a priesthood holder, a big NO in Bill’s religion. Barb stronger than ever, continued on the path and found a church where she could live her calling. Of course, for me the big letdown came when Barb who was about to get baptized in a different church didn’t follow through because her family wasn’t there. While I could understand the love and need she had for the family, it was just so disappointing to see her go back to someone who really treated her like dirt.

I think what I liked best about this show was how each wife evolved, except maybe Nicki who was  basically always a bitch. Her lines just got meaner and meaner. But since I’m kind of mean, I liked it and until this season, loved her character. Nicki Grant, the cold sister wife who came from the compound: you never knew until the third season if she was capable of love. Her marriage to Bill was part of a business arrangement between her father and Bill. Nicki was the child who grew up yearning for her parents’ love and never being good enough for them. Turns out, she was also placed in the Joy Books and became a teen bride. I suppose that would make any person as cold as ice. My absolute favorite Nicki scene was when she worked undercover in the DA’s office and started dating someone else. When she finally came clean about it, I watched the scene over and over. Second best storyline for Nicki was the family finding out she was on birth control. While she almost let someone else take the fall for her, she did finally come clean, but was not really apologetic about it. That is what was great about Nicki, she had no problem telling you what she thought regardless of your feelings. One last fave of Nicki was her giving it to the red headed kid that bullied her son. As the mother of a son who was bullied by a red head a few years ago, I could only applaud her actions.

The fact that I liked Margene so much was a huge surprise for me. She was the young hot wife who loved sex, (although she wasn’t the only wife that loved sex). She was so much more than something pretty to look at though. She had a huge heart and loved without boundaries. Her charm allowed her to make a fortune without any help from the family. Ginnifer Goodwin did such a good job in this role that it was believable first, that she considered herself a mother to Ben, the teenage son of Barb, and then later allowed Ben to comfort her when she couldn’t have Bill at her side. I thought the ending of the show with her going off to do missionary work was out of character, but really, it wasn’t. I mean, yes it was a bit much for her to leave her children, but she grew so much over the seasons that her leaving Utah to save the world actually made sense. She realized she had a life outside of the Henrickson’s family compound. I only wish Barb had found that life.

Big Love even showed us how you date in a plural marriage. I went back and forth on this storyline. It was interesting to watch Bill date a new woman, as well as the sister wives date her. Of course, Nicki hated her, and at that point we found out that Nicki had voted against adding Margene to the family. Maybe Nicki knew Margene wasn’t of age? I didn’t really like Anna, but once Barb decided she did, I changed my mind about her. When Anna left the family, I was kind of relieved for the storyline to end. This storyline did show us another example of Bill screwing over Barb: having sex with yet another person outside of their marriage. Thanks, Bill.

My favorite seasons were probably the first and third, with the fourth season being the worst. The first season introduced us to the family and showed us how they lived. We saw one daughter who didn’t agree with the lifestyle and looked for support outside the home. We saw how Barb’s family reacted to her lifestyle, they disowned her. I loved every scene with Ellen Burstyn as Barb’s mother. The fourth season was just too much: the run for Senate, the casino and trip to Mexico didn’t do much for me.

The thing I hated most about Big Love was the crazy characters. I know that Grace Zabriskie is an amazing actress, but almost every scene she was a part of drove me crazy. That is until this season, I actually liked the storyline with her having dementia and depending on Frank, the husband with whom she had a volatile relationship. (In fact, the last scene of him killing her was one of the few scenes I actually liked from the last episode.) But if I hated Grace Zabriskie, I hated Bill’s brother, Joey, more than any character on the show. I just couldn’t handle how stupid he was.

Dealing with those characters was worth it because the show provided us with Roman Grant, one of the best villains on television. I loved how devious he was and how his wife helped him nonstop. I was so sad when they killed him, and I couldn’t believe that Joey of all people did it. Roman was always one step ahead until the pillow.

Alby was another great character. You wanted to feel sorry for him as a gay man growing up in that environment. There was no way he could live out in the open, but even before the love of his life committed suicide, he was just an asshole. This season he was awesome, but the end for his character, getting shot in the shoulder by Bill, was lame. The great thing about Alby and Roman for that matter was that they could convince anyone to do their dirty work.

I watched an interview with the creators of the show, and they explained that they were ending this season because they didn’t feel they had enough material for another season. While I see their point, the way they ended things was a cop out. I actually didn’t mind Bill getting killed, my problem was how things ended for the interesting ones: the wives. There was no reason for Barb to stay. I could see Nicki (and Margene possibly) staying, but Barb grew so much, and while growth doesn’t have to mean a life alone, it should mean a life where you are respected and Bill clearly didn’t respect her.

Despite my disappointment with how the show ended, I am going to miss Big Love. I really became invested in the sister wives and cared about each of them. I found myself rooting for this marriage to work. I wanted them to live in the open and continue to show people it could be done. That it wasn’t all prairie skirts and long hair. I wanted Bill to wake up and stop alienating those around him.

Every year, there is talk about Grace Zabriskie getting an Emmy. Chloe was finally awarded last year, maybe it was a Golden Globe. This year has to be the year for Jeanne Tripplehorn. She was so damn good.

Big Love Series Finale "When Men and Mountains Meet" Review

I waited until this morning to write this review because I didn't want the emotions of the moment to dictate how I felt about the Big Love series finale. I wanted to take moment think about what had transpired and give my honest opinion. The funny thing is not much has changed in the twelve hours since I forever left the Henricksons behind me. I was left with a ton of disappointment, huge questions and the general feeling of being cheated. Maybe the feeling of disappointment and loss is just the nature of finales but I think there was much more at work here.


There's an inherent issue shows face with finales. It is the only time they are faced with the finality of what they are doing. I'm not talking about the fact that it's going away but finality in that the choices they make can never be altered or addressed again. If you take your characters in a direction or make choices you're unhappy with in a season finale, you can fix it before the opening credits role on the new season. Hell, Dallas erased an entire season by writing it off as a dream. But the choices you make in your series finale will live with that show forever. BJ will always tell Hawkeye goodbye in his own way.  Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer will never not go to jail. Tony will always play Journey in the cafe. Good, bad or ambivalent these are the images we'll forever be left with.


These images and resolutions or the lack there of, make up the core of the issues I have with the Big Love finale. I felt like in many ways the writers/producers took the lazy or easy way out. They spent an entire season building tensions within the family, the government and the community only to take the easy rout by killing Bill. But before we discuss how the death of Bill was the laziest of all solutions for the series' creators, let's talk about the good and bad of the events leading up to Bill's fateful end.


Barb's resolve to seek out a church that would allow her to become a priest holder has been an essential part of this season. Even though her marriage was fractured and her family disintegrating around her the one thing Barb had to cling to was her faith and her calling to the priesthood. For those of us who are Barb fans, this was the light out of the tunnel of darkness Bill had taken them through. It was exciting to see her continuing down the path of joining the reformed church even though it was causing a greater chasm in her relationship with Bill. At this point, Bill had become far removed from the outcast of Juniper Creek seeking to reform the principle. He had become a self righteous blow hard, who was difficult to like and much more difficult to root for. The terrific scene in which he moves out of Barb's house should have been the final straw for that relationship. If Barb had completely broken with the family at that point, I think we all would have been happier.


The maturation of Margene was another key element to the final season. She had finally had a taste of the outside world and found there was a place for her beyond the walls of the Henrickson's home. I don't think the show ever really painted her as a devout Mormon but she did have a charitable heart and the desire to reach out to those in need. Therefore, her desire seek a mission to those less fortunate seemed like a natural progression for her character. My only question would have been her willingness to leave her three children to be be raised by her sister wives. A question Nicki was quick to ask, although in a selfish Nicki manner. We saw the completion of Margene's maturation process when she finally stood up to Nicki about her desire to go on a mission. She knows her responsibilities at home will prevent her from going but Nicki has no right to call her hopes and dreams ridiculous.


If the second half of the finale had kept the same tone and trajectory as the first half then we may be talking about one of the great finales in television history. The climax of the series was Bill's speech on the floor of the State Senate. The speech at it's climatic moment actually gave me chills. This only goes to show how powerful Bill's character and Big Love itself could be when everything was right. I was sure we they were going to use the momentum of that moment to propel us to a great and satisfying ending. Instead the writers used Bill's outstanding speech to the state assembly as a launching point to resolve the family's issues with the least possible resistance.


From that moment on, we saw the characters we've spent five years getting to know start to do thing completely out of line with who they are. The writers tried to soften Nicki to harbor compassion from the audience. A softening that seemed to happen out of nowhere. Wouldn't Nicki have been more interesting and real if the cracks forming in the family had only hardened her resolve to be the lead sister wife? Instead we were left with a character in flux who we aren't sure how to take. Barb, who had spent the entire season chasing her calling, finally reaches her moment to step outside the family and create her own path and she does a 180 without any real reason. The lame "my family is here" reasoning didn't hold water. She had gone down this path on her own without there support and with the knowledge that it might ultimately lead to her separation from them. I found it incredibly unbelievable that she would get cold fee at that moment.


Now let's talk about Bill's death, why it was a lazy solution and the problems it causes. The writers spent an entire season building story lines including the reformation of the compounds, the fracturing of the Henricksons, Barb's calling and the ascension of Nicki as the head of the Henrickson sister wives and the writers decided to cheat us of any resolutions by killing off Bill. At the time of Bill's death, not a single plot line we had been following had been resolved. Barb still sought to become a priest holder, polygamy was still illegal, the compound rife with corruption and Bill was still facing felony charges. So instead of facing the struggle still ahead for the Henricksons the writers/producers decided let's kill Bill jump ahead a year and the audience will assume everything was resolved. Except, what they really did is open up a whole new set of questions. The only thing this really resolved was the rape charges. You can't put a dead man in jail. But are we supposed to believe that Bill's death solved the problems between the sister wives? Don't you think Nicki being in charge of things actually created more problems? Are we to believe the fundamentalist polygamist sects who had come to Bill's church were now going to accept a woman, Barb as a priest holder? I guess Bill dying made it OK with Heather that Ben slept with Rhonda because it sure as hell wasn't that hokey ass star thing. Apparently, Bill being gone made it easier on the family for Margene to leave whenever she wanted on missions.

Ultimately, the ending left too much unresolved and a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not going to argue with whether or not Bill deserved to die. By the end of the series I wanted him and Nicki to die together in a fiery car crash. I just thought the way it was done was a big cop out instead of having to address the issues still facing the family and the series.

Final Random Thoughts:

• That was a sweet fem mullet Barb grew after becoming a priest.
• Teeny was and still is the dumbest name on television.
• I guess your husband dying gives you a license to cut your hair like a 6 year old boy.
• What happens when one of the wives finds a new husband?
• What in Carl's character even hinted that he was capable of shooting someone? He was a coward for most of the series.
• This episode only strengthened my resolve to never re-sod my neighbors lawn.
• Every week Barb was surprising me with her musical selections.
• With everything going on with her daughter was it too much to ask to have a final scene with Ellen Burstyn?

Big Love "Exorcism" Review

So, it's clear how the show is going to end now, right? Not exactly. A few items were cleaned up in this second to last episode but there are still heavy shoes yet to fall. The family is hanging together by tattered threads. The law is protecting them while waiting to knock on the door to take Bill away. And even with dementia Lois isn't as nutty as Crazy Rhonda.

I had to go and check the retrospective special they ran earlier in the night to make sure I didn't miss part of tonight's episode. It felt like we were joining a regularly scheduled program already in progress by the way things started. Then again, I thought the entire episode jumped around and lacked any flow.

I'm starting to think they've decided to make Bill as despicable as possible so that when he goes off to prison, we don't feel as bad for him. Now, I don't think that's really what is going to happen but it was a thought I had tonight. I do however think he and Nicki should ride off into the sunset together and change their last names to the Despicables. What she did to Cara Lynn tonight, both trying to send her off to boarding school and the things she told her in her bedroom was beyond awful. I wasn't much of a Nicki fan to begin with but after today I wish Cara Lynn had thrown her into the fire. Nicki has been on a similar arc as Bill. With each episode the writers find a way to make you dislike them more. She's always been selfish and insecure but now that she's legally married to Bill she insufferably self important as well. Her calling Bill to tell on Barb for going to a new church was not only an awful technical transition but an unforgivable betrayal of trust between the sister wives.

There is nothing I want more from the finale than to see Barb get out of this oppressive environment she's found herself in. She was dead on with her criticism of Bill's uncompromising stance. His lack of willingness to see any one's point of view aside from his own has put their lives, their business and his marriage Barb in danger. His passive aggressive attack on Barb's loyalty and character at Juniper Creek should have been the final straw. I want Barb to find her calling and if Bill isn't willing to accept her then maybe he needs to take a look at his own issues. Maybe I'm alone here but I find Bill to be a very hypocritical man. He puts himself and his agenda above all else. I've never felt like he was following a pat God set before him but rather using God's Will as a tool to create his own path.

The end of the Alby saga was a disappointment. They could have had much greater drama and tension in those final scenes if they hadn't tried to cram so much into the episode. You knew Bill wasn't going to kill Alby and you never feared that Margene had been hit. It was just a very anticlimactic ending to a great rivalry.

There's not much to say about Margene this week. She cried a lot and actually seemed to digress as a character. Her giving up her Goji business seemed a bit abrupt and Pam's declaration that she and Carl were separated was odd. If there was anything to take from Margene tonight it would be the writers setting up the possibility of her leaving on a mission.

I see Ben is walking directly in his fathers footsteps by compounding stupid decisions with more stupid decisions. OK you slept with Crazy Rhonda. If you weren't dumber than a bag of bricks you would have kept Heather away from the house until Rhonda was gone. Then when she does find out about you two, your first instinct is to go to the "I can have you both" card? Wow, I take back all the things I said about you last week. Just stick to playing your corny songs on the piano with your little brothers. That's probably as complicated a task as you can handle.

So where are we going? I'm not sure. With Alby out of the picture, my excitement for the finale has been tempered. Obviously, Bill is going to be arrested at some point. He's going to have a big grand standing moment in the senate and ultimately it will all come crumbling down. I still think he ends up back on the compound with Nicki. Barb will seek out her calling as a priest holder and Margene will experience the world on a mission. That's my prediction and I'm sticking to it. Partially because that's what I want to happen and partially because I just don't see another logical ending. I'm probably completely wrong. It'll probably end with Cara Lynn killing Margene. Bill and Barb remarrying and Nicki becoming a liberal rights lesbian. Who knows.

Random Notes:

• I found it extremely difficult to believe Barb would be with Nicki and Margene delivering food to Bill at the State House.
• I'm guessing Amanda Seyfried returns next week as Bill faces trial.
• I guess statutory rape is the in crime this year. Big Love and Californication both with their protagonists on trial for this crime.
• As much as I dislike Bill, I'm going to miss this show next year.

Big Love "The Noose Tightens" Review

If you haven't been watching Big Love this season, first I don't know why you're reading this review and secondly you need to fix that mistake. So much for the methodical pace the show had been taking towards it's end. This week the Henricksons faced complete and total disintegration of everything holding the family together. Every storyline we had been following for seven episodes reached their tipping points tonight.

I've been pulling for Don to give Bill a big middle finger for a while now. He has lost nearly everything good in his life as a result of being loyal to his business partner. His wives have left, his time with his kids is limited and now his mental and physical health have been compromised because of the stress brought on by Bill's public life. Why would he continue to back this guy? Isn't this the same man that asked him to take the fall for Home Plus' insurance scandal? Admittedly, I didn't expect don to sell out to the guy who tried to kill him but hey when he's offering more than twice market value, maybe you forgive a little.

The financial well being of the Henricksons is a secondary concern at this point with both Bill and Barb facing charges of statutory rape and procuring. The DA plans to build their case around testimony from Margene. Bill and Barb would have been fine if Margene would have stuck to the plan and given the authorities nothing to build the case around but in true Margene fashion she cracked under the pressure and started blabbing like a five year old with a secret. I kind of had a feeling Barb was going to dragged into the investigation based on Margene's speech at the youth rally. What I'm not exactly thrilled about is how the other wives have turned on her and her role in all this. Nicki and Margene's assertion that bringing more wives into the fold was somehow Barb's doing seemed completely out of left field. Unless I'm forgetting key moments of Anna's courtship. Nice comeback on Barb's part throwing the secret resealing back at them. I'm still having trouble understanding why Barb is still hanging around though. Her marriage is broken. Her kids are all but grown and the other sister wives are throwing her under the bus. Where is her motivation for sticking by the family? Bill's genes suggest a willingness to cast out the wife who steps out of line. Nicki's insistence on getting her own lawyer was a bit puzzling. Even though she has gotten everything she has wanted lately she is still singing the poor mistreated outcast tune. I've turned on Nicki this season. Although I find her character infinitely more interesting, I find her far less likable. Her selfishness, rudeness and general ignorance though always there have just rubbed me the wrong way this season.

I've been pretty adamant in my apathy towards the Cara Lynn/Mr. Ivey storyline this season. I haven't seen the point of taking away screen time for what seems like a rehashed plot. We got a nice return on our suffering this week though. The first fireworks came when Margene found out about the relationship and Cara Lynn turned to Ben for help. Ben has been a general dud all season. I don't blame him. How is he supposed to recover from the Greenes in Mexico fiasco from last season. Anyway, I thought his confrontation with Nicki was his best scene of the entire series. His willingness to stand up to her finally revealed the maturity and spine long time fans had wondered if he'd ever have. Following Ben questioning Nicki's mothering ability we were treated to another terrifically explosive scene when Nicki took Cara Lynn to break things off with Mr. Ivey. You saw all the frustration and pain Nicki endured from being a child bride herself explode into a fit of rage at Greg. She couldn't change what had happened to her but she was damn well not going to let her daughter follow that same path, at least not right now. I still think Cara Lynn's story ends with her running off with Greg to be married. She's harboring ill will towards Nicki for the death of her father and her defiance is only growing more bold. Of course, if Nicki doesn't survive Alby this will all be moot.

Before we talk about Alby's actions tonight can we just address the elephant in the room? Aside from Solonius on Spartacus, Alby has by far the best haircut on television. His pompadour is outstanding. Now Roman's cowboy hat was more fitting with a compound prophet but Alby's do perfectly fits his Albyness. OK now that we've addressed that let's talk about what Alby's up to. I love his attempt to sink Bill through the back door. What better way to destroy Bill than from the inside? Bill should know by now that trying to get Alby to back down by threatening him only leads to Alby going to greater extremes. Bill threatening to expose Alby's "tendencies" and past transgressions was all the excuse Alby needed to call in a hit on Bill. Alby should be better at hiring his assassins though. Don't hire the guy who just botched offing Don to shoot Bill. Verlan may be a damn fine guy to watch undress but he's proven to be a failure at killing folks. Pretty bold of him to ask for a raise after failing his first attempt at being an assassin. Crazy Rhonda and their baby's got to eat though.

Nicki's brashness and lack of tact got the best of her once more. After learning of Alby's plans to kill Bill she verbally assaults her brother with insults and threats. As we've already discussed, AlbyAlby loves his sister but not even she is immune to his wrath. Nicki kneeling before a five foot grave with a gun to her head is a testament to how fed up Alby is with her and the Henricksons. Fortunately for her, Nicki is the one person in the world Alby does truly love and makes Verlan pay for exposing his plan to kill Bill. Poor Verlan, it's all fun and games being Alby's boy toy until he tires of you and buries you in a shallow grave on the compound. The final image we are left with is Nicki standing on the Henrickson's back port dazed in a filthy prairie dress.

So where are we going in the final two episodes? I think the law closing in and an ultimate battle with Alby all point to Bill and Nicki returning to Juniper Creek with Bill taking his grandfather's former position as the compound's prophet. Even with Bill offering to resign his senate seat the DA is still moving forward with prosecuting him. Alby, I believe ends up dead at the hands of Nicki or Adaleen. There was a little clue in this episode when Alby tells Verlan that no crime committed on the compound has ever been convicted. I think the final unprosecuted crime is the murder of Alby and his glorious hair. I'm conflicted about Barb. I want her to get away from Bill but I'm now concerned that procuring charges may force her to an unfulfilled existence on the compound as well. I can't see Margene ending up with them though. She is completely different from the other wives. She has matured since becoming a part of the Henricksons and now sees there are things in life she can only have outside the family.

Random Notes:

• I found the occult thing bizarre but more than that it was resolved awfully quickly and without satisfaction.
• What is Grant Show's role in all of this? Is he just working as a LDS agent to break apart the Henricksons?
• I found the visit from the other Senator interesting towards the end of the episode telling Bill to continue fighting. 
• If you ever have a secret do not say anything around Heather. That girl is nothing but trouble.
• If Carl and Pam were swallowed by an earth quake, I wouldn't care and neither would you.
• I hope Nicki never "rescues" me from anything.