Netflix Tuesday

OK it's not Tuesday anymore but the first movie on my list zapped my will to live last night and I had to sleep it off.

Based on word of mouth from people I respect, it seems that I may need to go out and see Inception. Actually, it seems I need to go see it twice. The worst opinion I've heard is that it was OK but for the most part the word is that it is outstanding.

In the mean time I've been busy knocking out movies on Netflix. I'll keep it simple and just rate the movies See and Don't See.

Whip It - Don't See - After seeing the documentary Blood on the Flat Track, I was pumped to see this movie. It failed to deliver on those expectations. My first mistake was not noticing that Drew Barrymore was the director. I wouldn't trust her to direct my kids birthday party video, much less a major motion picture.

Ellen Page. I've liked her less and less in every performance since Juno. Even with Juno, I thought Thora Birch did a better job with that character in Ghost World. Watching Page skate is brutal. It is obvious she lacks any coordination and is completely unbelievable as the fastest girl on the track. As far as her acting, she gives her typical "I'm too cool for my surroundings" performance or as I like to call it a Bizarro Cera. I'm not sure what she's going to to once she's too old to play angsty teenagers and twenty somethings. But I also don't care.

Jimmy Fallon. Note to producers and casting directors everywhere. Jimmy Fallon has never made a movie better. Don't believe me. I challenge you to try to make it through all the movies on his IMDB resume.

I can't completely kill the casting though. It was great to see Alia Shawkat (Maeby Funke) all grown up. Has Marcia Gay Harden ever given a bad performance? Kristen Wiig is always a treat but she should fire whoever is recommending scripts to her.

Ultimately, the story is weak even for a girl power/chick flick. The love story is underdeveloped and beyond pointless. I'm pretty sure it was added just because someone had an idea to shoot an underwater love scene. If you want to see a great movie about roller derby watch "Blood on the Flat Track." Leave this POS on the shelf.

Green Street Hooligans - See - Here's a tip for everyone. Say you're wondering whether you should watch a certain movie or TV show. If you look through the cast credits and see someone from The Wire or Band of Brothers on the list, it's usually a pretty good bet it's worth a view. I was glad to see this movie had both Liebgot and Blithe from Band of Brothers in it. Unlike the previous movie, I went into this movie with little to no expectations. In fact, I had moved it down my queue a few times because I had Elijah Woods face and some genius decided to put it right there on the cover for this film.

The story follows Matt (Wood) a Journalism major who has been recently kicked out of Harvard. Matt travels to England to live with his sister and try to escape the wrath of his absentee journalist father. Matt is quickly swept up in the soccer hooligan scene that is destined to threaten and change his life forever.

I loved this movie. This is how you use a quality cast to tell a great story. A cast that includes Charlie Hunnam (Jax from Sons of Anarchy) as the leader of the Green Street Elite firm and Claire Forlani, whom I've had a thing for ever since she was dumping T.S. before he could propose too her at Universal Studios just before Jaws pops out of the water. If you're looking for something to watch definitely give this one a view.

The Boys From Brazil - See - I watched this as part of the 70's classics series I'm doing right now. @steveintheKT recommended this one to me and it did not disappoint.

Mystery Team - See? - Only see this if you're a fan of Troy from Community. Donald Glover plays a character very similar to Troy. But it's as if instead of playing football, Troy hung out with his equally naive, geeky friends and solved neighborhood mysteries. The movie isn't very good but has some very funny scenes. So I'd only recommend it to hard core Community fans and people like me that will watch just about anything with Aubrey Plaza.

Adam - Don't See - Poor overdone performances.

A Serious Man - Don't See - The Coen Brothers turd in a pile of gems.

Papillon - See - Another on the 70's classics list. Steve McQueen. Enough Said.

A Single Man - See - Great. Great performance by Colin Firth.

Bass Ackwards - See - Nice little indie flick.

The Most Dangerous Man in America - See - Good documentary with lots of archive footage about the man that leaked the Pentagon Papers.


Next week I'm going to try to get on on a mid week schedule of Netflix Tuesdays, Weightloss Wednesdays and My DVR Thursdays.

I Kroger. Do you?

I have a question for all the married guys out there. Do you do the grocery shopping? If not why?

I've been the primary grocery shopper for our family since D and I have been married. Early in our marriage she tried the "let's go shopping together" move and I had to quickly squash that. This should be a lesson for everyone, grocery shopping is not a team sport. Anyone that has worked in the corporate world can tell you the best way to inefficiently do anything is to assign it to a committee. Whenever I breeze by a couple shopping together, I always get the same jealous/kill me stare back at me from the husband.

I find that the hour or so I spend in the grocery store is some of the most peaceful time I'll have all week. I put in my headphones, call up a good shopping playlist (last week was The White Stripes) and go to work. I can generally drown out the whole world this way. There was one instance where one of the bus stop moms was standing 6 feet from me waving, her mouth agape like a retarded kid on the bus. Of course, then she went and reported to D that she saw me in the grocery store listening to my ipod as if she'd seen me checking into a hotel with the neighbor. Alas, that's a story for another time.

Aside from the hour of peace let me share some of the other benefits of being the grocery shopper:

• Remember before you had kids, when you could take something to read and spend some good quality time in the bathroom without a 4 year old standing in front of you whining? This is that time again.
• You now own the power of the statement "if you don't like what I got then you do the shopping"
• You can now pick the brands you like, the cut of meat you want, that ice cream your wife never buys.
• You never again have to deal with your wife coming home with the groceries during the 4th quarter of a 3 point football game and wanting your help bringing them in. You now set the shopping schedule.
  
• When your wife's friends find out you do the shopping, they'll think you're a better husband than you really are.
• You get to enjoy all that music your Justin Bieber addicted 8 year old never let's you listen to.
• You get to enjoy those Tupac songs your wife won't let you listen to around the kids.
• There's always at least a few attractive women doing their shopping.
• Samples.

Maybe I'm different but these things are more than enough reasons to get me to the grocery store. But whether you're a man or a woman, I just ask that we all follow three simple rules that will make the shopping experience more enjoyable for us all.

1. Only one person at a time - No couples clogging up the lanes, please.
2. No kids allowed - There should be a law that kids too big to ride in the cart or too young to drive are banned from grocery stores. I'll campaign for any candidate that gets behind this.
3. No cell phones - if you need to talk on your phone, go find a space park and get out of the way. I don't want to hear what Madison did at cheer camp and stop swerving back and forth making it impossible to pass.
   

Two Weeks Down

Today is the end of my second week with Quick Weight Loss. I breezed through the first week but then hit a plateau in week two. I'm on day two of what they call a plateau buster. Which is basically an all protein diet. Based on my weight today the plateau buster seems to have worked. Here's the score card so far broken down into What's Easy and What's Difficult.

What's Easy

• No soft drinks, this is easy because I haven't had a soft drink in nearly 5 yeas anyway. Although, I do get the occasional craving for an ice cold Dr. Pepper.
• No Beer, another easy one for me because, well, I don't drink beer. I took a drink of one beer when I was 21. It tasted like shit so I never tried it again.
• Eating 3 servings of fruit/day. Fruit is one of those things that I never think about how much I like it unless I'm actively eating it. Late at night, I never think "an apple would really hit the spot" instead I'd always grab the keys and head to Wendy's for a frosty. Now I look forward to a nice tart Granny Smith.
• Mostly eating chicken, this is easy because first,I've never been that big of a beef eater anyway. Now a steak or some pot roast is a nice change of pace. Secondly, I don't really get tired of eating the same thing. I once spent an entire year eating a Chick-fil-A sandwich for lunch and a Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich for dinner everyday and I never tired of it.
• The protein snack bars are pretty good. They satisfy my chocolate craving and that's a good thing.
• Mrs. Dash, this lady will save your life. You can't use real salt or marinate what you're cooking so Mrs. Dash has become my best friend. I don't really miss salt because I never used that much anyway but not being able to marinate or cook in olive oil are on the What's Difficult list.

What's Difficult

• Milk, I hate milk. All milk tastes and smells sour to me. I'm not allergic to it or lactose intolerant. I just can't stand milk. I won't drink a milk shake because I can taste the milk through it. Now I'm supposed to drink 6-8 oz daily. I've tried to overcome this by mixing my protein drink with it. Which brings me to....
• Protein drinks, the flavor choices suck. So far I've tried pineapple-orange and wild berry and both suck. I try to just down them as fast as possible but it's a struggle, especially when made with milk. They're a little more tolerable with water but not much.
• Vegetables, I like very few vegetables cooked but will eat almost any raw. Right now I eat a lot of salads with lettuce, cabbage and broccoli. If I want a hot vegetable I pretty much have to eat green beans. I was really disappointed to find that onions, corn and carrots weren't allowed on the plan. I love onions and not being able to cook with them is killing me.

I know along the way I'm gonna run into many more difficulties but so far, I can' complain.

Starting weight: 333
Current weight: 318
pounds lost: 15
weeks: 2

The Kings Decision: How LeBron's free agency is affecting me

I don't really care one way or another. Wake me when it's football season.

Wanna watch me melt?

A few years ago, I had to make a tough decision for the betterment of myself, my family and every other relationship in my life. I had struggled for years with depression and anxiety. Even though I had been advised by doctors, psychologists and family members to seek help, my ego never found enough evidence to believe them. Then one day when my daughter was three, I realized how short and relatively mean I was being with her. The next day I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and have been under his care since. Seeking help for this shortcoming has been one of the best things I've ever done.

Well, that time have come again. Four years ago, I lost about 120lbs. However, after I started taking antidepressants, I started to gain weight again. Since then I have gained nearly all the weight I had lost back. I know if I continue down this path, I won't be able to enjoy all the pleasures in life the way I would like.

I knew that once again I needed help. This week I signed up at Quick Weight Loss Center. I had been very skeptical of this place because of their terrible name. Through testimonials and an aggressive radio ad campaign, I decided to check them out for myself. I have been very happy with the program and staff to this point and I'm very confident I will see results very soon.

I am looking to lost 130lbs and I know I can do it. I'm going to document my journey here on this blog. My struggles and my triumphs will both be here as public record. Feel free to ask questions or make comments. As I shed the pounds and get my sexy back, I only ask two things of you. Don't fall in love with me and don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Here's pictures of where I was and where I am today.

Audrey's Six and Michael Symon isn't happy with me

Watch out world this one is now six. Audrey and her alter ego Aubrey both turned six this past Friday.

Her choices for birthday activities were to eat lunch at Barry’s Pizza and then hit Dave & Busters. Even though it was pouring rain and flooding all over town we decided to brave the weather and head in to town. Barry’s delivered as always. We had our usual deep dish and our waitress was on point with a complimentary brownie a la mode for Audrey’s birthday. Denise did see my tweet about my future affair with the Barry’s bartender. That got me a few sideways looks and comments but she’s a good sport. In case you didn’t already know, I married up.

The trip to D&B was a success and by success, I mean we didn’t come home with a giant pink unicorn again. As per usual D&B was a mixed bag of good and bad.

· Good – The large breasted woman in a thin dress shooting jump shots at the basketball shooting game.

· Bad – Audrey once again proved she is one of the most uncoordinated kids on earth. She is still waiting to score her first Ski Ball point.

· Good – I still dominate at the ball drop.

· Bad – 12 year olds bending over to reveal they are wearing a thong.

· Good – The lesbian mafia moving in a herd from game to game. Then playing against each other with the intensity of MJ at a pick up basketball game. At one point, I witnessed the air hockey loser throwing her paddle at the winner.

· Bad – Someone crop dusting the entrance into the game room and having to pass through it twice.

· Good – Having an awesome wife that escorted Audrey into the prize area by herself. Prize selection irritates me to no end. Thank god for good women.

· Bad – The parents that use D&B as a de facto day care for their 11 & 12 year olds. These were some of the rudest kids I’ve ever encountered. They trolled around looking for orphaned tickets. Audrey dropped a token under her stool while playing a game. One of those kids went under her stool picked up the token then started doing a celebratory “I found a token” dance.

Tweet of the Week

I posted a tweet asking Food Network to please show an Iron Chef that didn’t involve Michael Symon. Not long after, I received a reply from Chef Michael Symon telling me not to be a hater. I haven’t decided if it’s cool that he replied or kind of pathetic that he or someone that works for him searches twitter for his name to pop up.

Netflix

None at home right now. I mailed back 3 discs today.

American Drug War: The Last White Hope - ★★★★

Young @ Heart - ★★★★

The Last Station - ★★★★

Pirate Radio - ★★★

Invictus - ★★★

This Boy’s Life - ★★★

The Conversation - ★★★★

Five Minutes of Heaven - ★★★

Taking Woodstock - ★★

Art & Copy - ★★★★

Books

Control Your Cash by Greg McFarlane & Betty Kincaid