American Idol One of 9 Voted Off - 4/7/11

I started to watch the results show while the kids were still up but once the rock medley started, I knew this train wreck would need my full attention. I turned it off until I could watch it without distraction. So here we go.

Let's get the medley awards out of the way first:

Lauren is the run away winner for worst outfit of the night. There's not even a close second.

Haley edges out Pia for favorite outfit of the night.

Paul wins for most natural performance during the medley.

Scotty, Jacob and James tie for goofiest stage presence.

Randy wins for taking my advice and ditching the hefty bag for a cardigan.

This year's Ford commercials have been lame at best.

Russell Brand on AI? God has officially forsaken us and the Earth is facing imminent doom. If anyone outside of Brand's immediate family sees the new Arthur movie Poseidon should release the Kraken and destroy us all.

Lauren, Casey and Stefano. If my predictions hold true I think Stefano should be in the bottom. Plus the guy's a one trick pony. Lauren deserves to be safe unless we deduct points for tonight's outfit. I thought Casey's performance was too safe but I also think he's regained his mojo so I didn't think he'd be in danger.

Do me a favor pause your DVR at the 24 minute mark and look just to the right of Ryan. That is the worst/dumbest hat ever worn. The guy would look better and less ridiculous sitting there in a fez. OK back to the show.

I thought we retired Unchained Melody when Simon left the show. I guess not because Constantine and his butt chin have brought it back tonight.

Paul, Scotty and Pia. If someone in the group is in the bottom it's going to be Paul. The other 2 have pretty strong voting bases. Pia had my least favorite of those 3 performances though. Wow Pia is in the bottom 3? I didn't see that coming but I'm not that disappointed. She's been boring for a few weeks now. Even doing a more uptempo song last night didn't do much to liven up her performances. I can tell you this though, Stefano just crapped his pants because he knows he can't beat her.

The TMZ/American Idol piece is completely unwatchable and definitive proof that the results show should only be 30 minutes. Absolutely brutal.

James, Haley, Jacob. James is the most deserving to be in the bottom but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jacob. He went first and that's always a tough spot. Yep just what I was afraid of. The best part of this is that this should assure us that Stefano is going home.

Iggy Pop hasn't owned a shirt since 1968. Fact. Another fact is 1973 Iggy Pop would have killed himself if he'd known 2011 Iggy Pop was going to be on American Idol.

Here's my preference for who goes home of these 3. First Stefano, he sucks and ruins my Wednesday nights. Second Pia, she bores me but is nice to look at. Third Jacob, I like him and think he brings a R&B element no one else on the show brings.

Ryan that was just mean. You nearly killed that kid. Please be Stefano. Please be Stefano. What? How does Stefano keep dodging these bullets? Wow. The judges completely missed the point. Boring is the most unforgivable of all sins on AI. You can be off key, pitchy or whatever but if you're boring, America will make you pay.

I don't want to be the guy that says I told you so but last week when the judges told her to do something other than a ballad, I said watching her in the group performances she doesn't have that in her. She doesn't move on stage well enough. She was less likely to bore us by standing still and belting out Celine Dion songs than roboticlly (yes I know that's not a word) trying to imitate Tina Turner. Oh well. I still think Stefano should have been long gone but I don't vote.

On a positive note, I feel much better about my bet on Casey now.