Big Love Series Wrap-up with guest blogger Nicole Zierlein

When Big Love ended last week I knew there was one person who would be equally disappointed in the finally and miss the show next season as much as I would, Nicole Zierlein. Nicole has an excellent blog of her own you should be following and before I even asked her to write something for ApeDonkey she was already working on it. Thanks again Nicole for contributing and the invitation is always open for more.

When Big Love premiered, I was pretty skeptical. How could I watch a show about a man and his three wives even if one of the wives was Chloe Sevigny? Polygamy was not interesting to me in the least, especially considering everything we had seen in the news regarding Warren Jeffs and his followers. The fact that the show was on HBO still didn’t convince me. The first season went by, and I didn’t watch one episode. It wasn’t until my friend told me over and over during season 2 that he could see me in Nicki that I finally decided to give it a chance. (By the time the show ended, this was really more of an insult than the compliment he intended.)

In my opinion, this show was a work of art. It was perfectly cast with Bill Paxton as the husband and Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin as the sister wives. Sure, some of the children weren’t perfect, but as far as the relevant characters go, the cast rocked. The acting in this show was so spot on that my favorite wife changed each season. I found myself identifying with the sister wives more than I ever thought I could. Although, in the end despite what my friend thinks, I am much more Barb than Nicki or Margene.

The show did exactly what Bill tried to do all along: convince us that polygamous unions can work. It showed the practical stuff like who does the shopping? How many moms do the kids have? To the most pressing: when do they have sex with Bill and what do the other wives think about that? Turns out that head wife Barb is really good at organizing things from finances to scheduling which wife slept with Bill on which night. Said schedule could be altered if a wife was trying for a baby.

Big Love took a couple who had been married for years before Bill decided he had a calling to plural marriage. My first question upon watching the show was: how did he convince Barb into doing this? You knew from season 1 that she wasn’t really convinced about the whole plural marriage thing. The more she talked about how much the family meant to her, the more you realized that she was never really on board. How did Bill convince her? Simple, he knew she loved him and would do anything for him. My heart broke for her, which would happen over and over throughout the series. Who can’t understand being manipulated like that?

I loved how the show allowed Barb to find herself more and more each season. And in finding herself, she realized that she didn’t need Bill. We saw Barb as mother extraordinaire, Mother of the Year (almost), return to school and as the person who truly was the heart of the family. She didn’t just run the houses, she made sure the wives were taken care of even when Bill wanted to ignore problems. This season Barb felt called to be a priesthood holder, a big NO in Bill’s religion. Barb stronger than ever, continued on the path and found a church where she could live her calling. Of course, for me the big letdown came when Barb who was about to get baptized in a different church didn’t follow through because her family wasn’t there. While I could understand the love and need she had for the family, it was just so disappointing to see her go back to someone who really treated her like dirt.

I think what I liked best about this show was how each wife evolved, except maybe Nicki who was  basically always a bitch. Her lines just got meaner and meaner. But since I’m kind of mean, I liked it and until this season, loved her character. Nicki Grant, the cold sister wife who came from the compound: you never knew until the third season if she was capable of love. Her marriage to Bill was part of a business arrangement between her father and Bill. Nicki was the child who grew up yearning for her parents’ love and never being good enough for them. Turns out, she was also placed in the Joy Books and became a teen bride. I suppose that would make any person as cold as ice. My absolute favorite Nicki scene was when she worked undercover in the DA’s office and started dating someone else. When she finally came clean about it, I watched the scene over and over. Second best storyline for Nicki was the family finding out she was on birth control. While she almost let someone else take the fall for her, she did finally come clean, but was not really apologetic about it. That is what was great about Nicki, she had no problem telling you what she thought regardless of your feelings. One last fave of Nicki was her giving it to the red headed kid that bullied her son. As the mother of a son who was bullied by a red head a few years ago, I could only applaud her actions.

The fact that I liked Margene so much was a huge surprise for me. She was the young hot wife who loved sex, (although she wasn’t the only wife that loved sex). She was so much more than something pretty to look at though. She had a huge heart and loved without boundaries. Her charm allowed her to make a fortune without any help from the family. Ginnifer Goodwin did such a good job in this role that it was believable first, that she considered herself a mother to Ben, the teenage son of Barb, and then later allowed Ben to comfort her when she couldn’t have Bill at her side. I thought the ending of the show with her going off to do missionary work was out of character, but really, it wasn’t. I mean, yes it was a bit much for her to leave her children, but she grew so much over the seasons that her leaving Utah to save the world actually made sense. She realized she had a life outside of the Henrickson’s family compound. I only wish Barb had found that life.

Big Love even showed us how you date in a plural marriage. I went back and forth on this storyline. It was interesting to watch Bill date a new woman, as well as the sister wives date her. Of course, Nicki hated her, and at that point we found out that Nicki had voted against adding Margene to the family. Maybe Nicki knew Margene wasn’t of age? I didn’t really like Anna, but once Barb decided she did, I changed my mind about her. When Anna left the family, I was kind of relieved for the storyline to end. This storyline did show us another example of Bill screwing over Barb: having sex with yet another person outside of their marriage. Thanks, Bill.

My favorite seasons were probably the first and third, with the fourth season being the worst. The first season introduced us to the family and showed us how they lived. We saw one daughter who didn’t agree with the lifestyle and looked for support outside the home. We saw how Barb’s family reacted to her lifestyle, they disowned her. I loved every scene with Ellen Burstyn as Barb’s mother. The fourth season was just too much: the run for Senate, the casino and trip to Mexico didn’t do much for me.

The thing I hated most about Big Love was the crazy characters. I know that Grace Zabriskie is an amazing actress, but almost every scene she was a part of drove me crazy. That is until this season, I actually liked the storyline with her having dementia and depending on Frank, the husband with whom she had a volatile relationship. (In fact, the last scene of him killing her was one of the few scenes I actually liked from the last episode.) But if I hated Grace Zabriskie, I hated Bill’s brother, Joey, more than any character on the show. I just couldn’t handle how stupid he was.

Dealing with those characters was worth it because the show provided us with Roman Grant, one of the best villains on television. I loved how devious he was and how his wife helped him nonstop. I was so sad when they killed him, and I couldn’t believe that Joey of all people did it. Roman was always one step ahead until the pillow.

Alby was another great character. You wanted to feel sorry for him as a gay man growing up in that environment. There was no way he could live out in the open, but even before the love of his life committed suicide, he was just an asshole. This season he was awesome, but the end for his character, getting shot in the shoulder by Bill, was lame. The great thing about Alby and Roman for that matter was that they could convince anyone to do their dirty work.

I watched an interview with the creators of the show, and they explained that they were ending this season because they didn’t feel they had enough material for another season. While I see their point, the way they ended things was a cop out. I actually didn’t mind Bill getting killed, my problem was how things ended for the interesting ones: the wives. There was no reason for Barb to stay. I could see Nicki (and Margene possibly) staying, but Barb grew so much, and while growth doesn’t have to mean a life alone, it should mean a life where you are respected and Bill clearly didn’t respect her.

Despite my disappointment with how the show ended, I am going to miss Big Love. I really became invested in the sister wives and cared about each of them. I found myself rooting for this marriage to work. I wanted them to live in the open and continue to show people it could be done. That it wasn’t all prairie skirts and long hair. I wanted Bill to wake up and stop alienating those around him.

Every year, there is talk about Grace Zabriskie getting an Emmy. Chloe was finally awarded last year, maybe it was a Golden Globe. This year has to be the year for Jeanne Tripplehorn. She was so damn good.

ApeDonkey Power Rankings - 3/22/11

Top 5

1. Statutory Rape - Is anything hotter right now that statutory rape? Hank Moody was just convicted of statutory rape on Californication. Bill on Big Love faced the same charge before meeting his fate and now this week on Shameless Frank was essentially raped by a minor. In real life LT just got 6 years probation for sleeping with a 16 year old. And let's not forget the king of all statutory rape Roman Polanski. I'm telling you, statutory rape is white hot right now.


2. Jason Isbell - I finally was able to see Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit live this past weekend at Sam's Burger Joint in San Antonio. It was my first chance to catch him live since he left the Drive-By Truckers. Having now seen both Isbell and DBT since the split, I have to say that I think DBT miss Jason more than he misses them. DBT is still a great band and continues to produce terrific albums but they lost a key piece when Jason left. An outsiders perspective is that Patterson writes songs from his brain. Cooley writes from that old rock 'n roll staple the crotch. Jason's music seems to come from his hearth and soul though. He writes beautiful songs about life in the south, family and soul felt love songs.



The 400 Unit is an extremely tight band and Isbell has developed great chemistry with guitarist Browan Lollar. They traded licks and lead duties like partners of 20 years. The band ran through all of Isbell's best with the DBTs even kicking the show off with "Never Gonna Change" and mixing in the Jimi Hendrix classic "Stone Free" in the middle of the song. They didn't have a particularly long set because this was the third of three shows for them that day. Isbell and the band had played two shows at SXSW earlier in the day before heading over to play a nightcap in San Antonio. Even with the shortened show they hit on every song I was hoping for except for "Brand New Kind of Actress." They did a cover The Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer" with Lollar on vocals that rivaled the original. By the end of the show Isbell's throat was obviously trashed. He was having to use a throat spray between songs to keep going. Afterwards the guys stuck around to have drinks and mingle with fans. Great performers and terrific guys all around. I'm hoping Cactus Music can set up an in store performance when they come to Houston for Summerfest in June. You can bet the mortgage I'll be there.

3. Alamo Heights - Man these are my kind of people. They're old, grumpy as hell and have absolutely no patience for anyone. While I was in San Antonio last week, I found myself in this area on several occasions. On one occasion we stopped in Central Market to get a birthday cake for my son. In a normal supermarket situation people will say "excuse me" or something like that when they try to get by you, not these fossils. These old coots will just mow right through you and if they happen to take out one of your toes, well then that's your problem. Damned is the checker who doesn't get someone to the register for a carry out quick enough. Granny in her animal print shawl and heavy jewelry is about to drop some not so nice knowledge on your ass.

The middle aged residents are just as mean but fuck them. They haven't earned their right to let shit fly. I needed to take a different exit out of the parking lot so I decided to go down a one way because it was the only way for me to get where I needed. Just as I was turning out the one way a woman in her chromed out Escalade wanted to turn in and had to back up literally four feet for me to turn. Well holy shit! You would have thought she had to push her car out of the way. She threw it into reverse hammered the accelerator and jammed it back into drive. As I was driving past she rolled down her window to scream at me and call me a moron. Now I can't argue with someone calling me a moron because much of the time that's a good assessment. However, I happened to be in the car with my mother in law and kids and I've tried to shield my offspring from my moronic tendencies. My first instinct was to roll down my window and tell the bitch to go die in a grease fire (a favorite picked up from legendary red ass Stump). But since I didn't want to lose it in front of the kids and mother in law I let is slide.

4. Burnout Pete - I made a new friend at Sam's Burger Joint waiting for the Jason Isbell show to start. We never exchanged names but I've come to call him Burnout Pete. We talked for at least an hour about bands past and present. He's one of those guys who goes to five shows a week and since he lives in the hill country, he hits shows in Austin, San Antonio and Gruene. A conversation with Burnout Pete is kind of like what you'd expect talking to Tommy Chong is like. During our time together he called me "man" no less than 300 times. He still pumped about a Robin Trower show he'd recently been to and said Trower's show was as good now as it was when he saw him in '73. His wife was the spitting image of a blond hippie Angelica Huston. I tried to turn him on to using IConcerCal for keeping up with shows through iTunes but as soon as I said something I realized he probably had a vinyl music library and not a digital one. I hope I run in to Pete again sometime. That guy was cool and fun to talk to plus we still have some unresolved disagreements about The Band.

5. Kid Prophets - I've got nothing for number 5 so I'm going to leave you with my favorite quote by my 6 year old daughter from our trip to San Antonio. On our way to Kiddie Park which is as terrible as it sounds, read below, my kid drops this nugget on us "I'm gonna die on the horizon."


Bottom 5

1. Spring Break - I did a little research to find out who invented spring break. I needed someone to blame. Someone I could heap all my resentment and hatred upon year after year. Unfortunately, the idea isn't attributed to any one person so I have to blame the farmers and Easter for this week of Hell. At least according to wikipedia and google that's who I should blame.  I've learned to deal with summer break. I start getting my mind ready in May. I play loops of screeching noises and loud screaming for a few weeks prior to the end of the school year and I'm set. Spring break always seems to sneak up on me though. And because it's one week of unexpected freedom the kids try to get out all of their horribleness in one nuclear blast of annoyingness. So how bad was this year? Let me see if this gives you any idea. By 10am on Monday morning, one kid have vomited chocolate milk all over my bedroom. While the other kid was in the throws of a monstrous fit because she was bored. It was only two hours in to spring break and she was already bored. If you think your week can possibly go well after a beginning like that then you're wrong.

2. On Court Stupidity - I'm getting the power rankings out so late this week the happenings in the NCAA basketball tournament are a bit out dated but the stupid fouls and plays in the Butler/Pitt and Texas/Arizona games are the things of legend. When Pitt was on the line to what seemed like steal victory from Butler I was writing a tweet that the boneheads on Pitt weren't above doing something stupid like fouling Butler right back. And before I could even hit send, they did it. Why would you even care about that rebound? There wasn't enough time to make any reasonable shot so at worst you were headed to overtime. Then my Longhorns decided they didn't want to be left out of the dumbass conversation. With 12 seconds left, the ball and a 2 point lead Jordan Hamilton called a timeout. The only option Arizona had at that point was to foul Hamilton but he let them off the hook and called a timeout. Hamilton is a good ball handler, a premier scorer and a 78% free throw shooter. Now it seems like he may have been coached to call a timeout and if so then the onus falls on Rick Barnes for blowing that game.

3. Big Love - I said my piece about the Big Love finale in a blog post earlier this week but they still make the bottom 5 for what was a very disappointing finale. So many great characters and story lines created through the years were thrown away with a thud. I've tried to rationalize the way the series ended over the past few days and I still can't find an excuse that makes it the correct ending. Sad way to close an excellent show.


4. Third World Cities - One of the best things about living in Texas is that we can visit third world cities without having to actually go to a third world country.  Like I've already said, We visited family in San Antonio this past week and it's always a culture shock when we go. Everyone appears to be 10-15 years older than their actual age. Even if you don't take in the arts and museums of Houston, there's a level of sophistication and culture that is absent in San Antonio. If your kid happens to get sick while you're there like mine did, you're better off visiting a witch doctor or just taking them out back and giving them the old lame horse treatment than going to a clinic. They claim to have degrees but judging from their analysis and advice I'd rather trust my kid's health to a can of Dr. Pepper than these fruit cakes.

Even though I said I would never go to Kiddie Park again I found myself there on Thursday and they've found a way to up the horribleness by adding road construction to the equation to go along with the crack houses and throngs of pedders. If you didn't read my last review of this place let me reset what this is. Kiddie Park is a San Antonio "institution." Which means it's really old and run down. On our way there my kid asked me if we were close and I told her when she could smell hepatitis and tetanus then she'd know we were close. The only I allowed myself to touch while I was there were the antibacterial dispenser. I'm assuming my 2 year old isn't long for this world since I caught him licking the glass of one of the tchotchke dispensers. It cost ~$11 per kid to go and my 2 year old refused to ride anything so I actually paid them to give him a disease and nothing else. Luckily, the older kid will be too old to ride anything there the next time we come to town so hopefully my days in Hell are done.

5. Longhorn Fans - I went over the dumb time out by Jordan Hamilton at the end of the Arizona game but that's probably not the reason my fellow Longhorn fans gave for the loss. You probably heard about the short 5 second count. It was a short count and the way the ref responded to questions about it makes me hope he's never allowed to ref another NCAA game. And you've probably heard about the uncalled foul after J. Brown's missed final shot. I can't say there wasn't a foul. However, these aren't the reasons the Longhorns lost. All of these "judgement" calls would have been moot if that timeout isn't called and Hamilton doesn't miss both free throws. Or how about the Longhorns put together two good halves of basketball instead of digging themselves such a deep hole they were forced to play mistake free in the second half. Longhorn fans need to let the phantom and missed calls go. Even if the ref came out today and admitted his mistakes, they aren't putting anymore time back on the clock. The Horns are going to have another top 5-10 team again next season and maybe this time they won't implode down the stretch.

Big Love Series Finale "When Men and Mountains Meet" Review

I waited until this morning to write this review because I didn't want the emotions of the moment to dictate how I felt about the Big Love series finale. I wanted to take moment think about what had transpired and give my honest opinion. The funny thing is not much has changed in the twelve hours since I forever left the Henricksons behind me. I was left with a ton of disappointment, huge questions and the general feeling of being cheated. Maybe the feeling of disappointment and loss is just the nature of finales but I think there was much more at work here.


There's an inherent issue shows face with finales. It is the only time they are faced with the finality of what they are doing. I'm not talking about the fact that it's going away but finality in that the choices they make can never be altered or addressed again. If you take your characters in a direction or make choices you're unhappy with in a season finale, you can fix it before the opening credits role on the new season. Hell, Dallas erased an entire season by writing it off as a dream. But the choices you make in your series finale will live with that show forever. BJ will always tell Hawkeye goodbye in his own way.  Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer will never not go to jail. Tony will always play Journey in the cafe. Good, bad or ambivalent these are the images we'll forever be left with.


These images and resolutions or the lack there of, make up the core of the issues I have with the Big Love finale. I felt like in many ways the writers/producers took the lazy or easy way out. They spent an entire season building tensions within the family, the government and the community only to take the easy rout by killing Bill. But before we discuss how the death of Bill was the laziest of all solutions for the series' creators, let's talk about the good and bad of the events leading up to Bill's fateful end.


Barb's resolve to seek out a church that would allow her to become a priest holder has been an essential part of this season. Even though her marriage was fractured and her family disintegrating around her the one thing Barb had to cling to was her faith and her calling to the priesthood. For those of us who are Barb fans, this was the light out of the tunnel of darkness Bill had taken them through. It was exciting to see her continuing down the path of joining the reformed church even though it was causing a greater chasm in her relationship with Bill. At this point, Bill had become far removed from the outcast of Juniper Creek seeking to reform the principle. He had become a self righteous blow hard, who was difficult to like and much more difficult to root for. The terrific scene in which he moves out of Barb's house should have been the final straw for that relationship. If Barb had completely broken with the family at that point, I think we all would have been happier.


The maturation of Margene was another key element to the final season. She had finally had a taste of the outside world and found there was a place for her beyond the walls of the Henrickson's home. I don't think the show ever really painted her as a devout Mormon but she did have a charitable heart and the desire to reach out to those in need. Therefore, her desire seek a mission to those less fortunate seemed like a natural progression for her character. My only question would have been her willingness to leave her three children to be be raised by her sister wives. A question Nicki was quick to ask, although in a selfish Nicki manner. We saw the completion of Margene's maturation process when she finally stood up to Nicki about her desire to go on a mission. She knows her responsibilities at home will prevent her from going but Nicki has no right to call her hopes and dreams ridiculous.


If the second half of the finale had kept the same tone and trajectory as the first half then we may be talking about one of the great finales in television history. The climax of the series was Bill's speech on the floor of the State Senate. The speech at it's climatic moment actually gave me chills. This only goes to show how powerful Bill's character and Big Love itself could be when everything was right. I was sure we they were going to use the momentum of that moment to propel us to a great and satisfying ending. Instead the writers used Bill's outstanding speech to the state assembly as a launching point to resolve the family's issues with the least possible resistance.


From that moment on, we saw the characters we've spent five years getting to know start to do thing completely out of line with who they are. The writers tried to soften Nicki to harbor compassion from the audience. A softening that seemed to happen out of nowhere. Wouldn't Nicki have been more interesting and real if the cracks forming in the family had only hardened her resolve to be the lead sister wife? Instead we were left with a character in flux who we aren't sure how to take. Barb, who had spent the entire season chasing her calling, finally reaches her moment to step outside the family and create her own path and she does a 180 without any real reason. The lame "my family is here" reasoning didn't hold water. She had gone down this path on her own without there support and with the knowledge that it might ultimately lead to her separation from them. I found it incredibly unbelievable that she would get cold fee at that moment.


Now let's talk about Bill's death, why it was a lazy solution and the problems it causes. The writers spent an entire season building story lines including the reformation of the compounds, the fracturing of the Henricksons, Barb's calling and the ascension of Nicki as the head of the Henrickson sister wives and the writers decided to cheat us of any resolutions by killing off Bill. At the time of Bill's death, not a single plot line we had been following had been resolved. Barb still sought to become a priest holder, polygamy was still illegal, the compound rife with corruption and Bill was still facing felony charges. So instead of facing the struggle still ahead for the Henricksons the writers/producers decided let's kill Bill jump ahead a year and the audience will assume everything was resolved. Except, what they really did is open up a whole new set of questions. The only thing this really resolved was the rape charges. You can't put a dead man in jail. But are we supposed to believe that Bill's death solved the problems between the sister wives? Don't you think Nicki being in charge of things actually created more problems? Are we to believe the fundamentalist polygamist sects who had come to Bill's church were now going to accept a woman, Barb as a priest holder? I guess Bill dying made it OK with Heather that Ben slept with Rhonda because it sure as hell wasn't that hokey ass star thing. Apparently, Bill being gone made it easier on the family for Margene to leave whenever she wanted on missions.

Ultimately, the ending left too much unresolved and a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not going to argue with whether or not Bill deserved to die. By the end of the series I wanted him and Nicki to die together in a fiery car crash. I just thought the way it was done was a big cop out instead of having to address the issues still facing the family and the series.

Final Random Thoughts:

• That was a sweet fem mullet Barb grew after becoming a priest.
• Teeny was and still is the dumbest name on television.
• I guess your husband dying gives you a license to cut your hair like a 6 year old boy.
• What happens when one of the wives finds a new husband?
• What in Carl's character even hinted that he was capable of shooting someone? He was a coward for most of the series.
• This episode only strengthened my resolve to never re-sod my neighbors lawn.
• Every week Barb was surprising me with her musical selections.
• With everything going on with her daughter was it too much to ask to have a final scene with Ellen Burstyn?

Big Love "Exorcism" Review

So, it's clear how the show is going to end now, right? Not exactly. A few items were cleaned up in this second to last episode but there are still heavy shoes yet to fall. The family is hanging together by tattered threads. The law is protecting them while waiting to knock on the door to take Bill away. And even with dementia Lois isn't as nutty as Crazy Rhonda.

I had to go and check the retrospective special they ran earlier in the night to make sure I didn't miss part of tonight's episode. It felt like we were joining a regularly scheduled program already in progress by the way things started. Then again, I thought the entire episode jumped around and lacked any flow.

I'm starting to think they've decided to make Bill as despicable as possible so that when he goes off to prison, we don't feel as bad for him. Now, I don't think that's really what is going to happen but it was a thought I had tonight. I do however think he and Nicki should ride off into the sunset together and change their last names to the Despicables. What she did to Cara Lynn tonight, both trying to send her off to boarding school and the things she told her in her bedroom was beyond awful. I wasn't much of a Nicki fan to begin with but after today I wish Cara Lynn had thrown her into the fire. Nicki has been on a similar arc as Bill. With each episode the writers find a way to make you dislike them more. She's always been selfish and insecure but now that she's legally married to Bill she insufferably self important as well. Her calling Bill to tell on Barb for going to a new church was not only an awful technical transition but an unforgivable betrayal of trust between the sister wives.

There is nothing I want more from the finale than to see Barb get out of this oppressive environment she's found herself in. She was dead on with her criticism of Bill's uncompromising stance. His lack of willingness to see any one's point of view aside from his own has put their lives, their business and his marriage Barb in danger. His passive aggressive attack on Barb's loyalty and character at Juniper Creek should have been the final straw. I want Barb to find her calling and if Bill isn't willing to accept her then maybe he needs to take a look at his own issues. Maybe I'm alone here but I find Bill to be a very hypocritical man. He puts himself and his agenda above all else. I've never felt like he was following a pat God set before him but rather using God's Will as a tool to create his own path.

The end of the Alby saga was a disappointment. They could have had much greater drama and tension in those final scenes if they hadn't tried to cram so much into the episode. You knew Bill wasn't going to kill Alby and you never feared that Margene had been hit. It was just a very anticlimactic ending to a great rivalry.

There's not much to say about Margene this week. She cried a lot and actually seemed to digress as a character. Her giving up her Goji business seemed a bit abrupt and Pam's declaration that she and Carl were separated was odd. If there was anything to take from Margene tonight it would be the writers setting up the possibility of her leaving on a mission.

I see Ben is walking directly in his fathers footsteps by compounding stupid decisions with more stupid decisions. OK you slept with Crazy Rhonda. If you weren't dumber than a bag of bricks you would have kept Heather away from the house until Rhonda was gone. Then when she does find out about you two, your first instinct is to go to the "I can have you both" card? Wow, I take back all the things I said about you last week. Just stick to playing your corny songs on the piano with your little brothers. That's probably as complicated a task as you can handle.

So where are we going? I'm not sure. With Alby out of the picture, my excitement for the finale has been tempered. Obviously, Bill is going to be arrested at some point. He's going to have a big grand standing moment in the senate and ultimately it will all come crumbling down. I still think he ends up back on the compound with Nicki. Barb will seek out her calling as a priest holder and Margene will experience the world on a mission. That's my prediction and I'm sticking to it. Partially because that's what I want to happen and partially because I just don't see another logical ending. I'm probably completely wrong. It'll probably end with Cara Lynn killing Margene. Bill and Barb remarrying and Nicki becoming a liberal rights lesbian. Who knows.

Random Notes:

• I found it extremely difficult to believe Barb would be with Nicki and Margene delivering food to Bill at the State House.
• I'm guessing Amanda Seyfried returns next week as Bill faces trial.
• I guess statutory rape is the in crime this year. Big Love and Californication both with their protagonists on trial for this crime.
• As much as I dislike Bill, I'm going to miss this show next year.

Big Love "The Noose Tightens" Review

If you haven't been watching Big Love this season, first I don't know why you're reading this review and secondly you need to fix that mistake. So much for the methodical pace the show had been taking towards it's end. This week the Henricksons faced complete and total disintegration of everything holding the family together. Every storyline we had been following for seven episodes reached their tipping points tonight.

I've been pulling for Don to give Bill a big middle finger for a while now. He has lost nearly everything good in his life as a result of being loyal to his business partner. His wives have left, his time with his kids is limited and now his mental and physical health have been compromised because of the stress brought on by Bill's public life. Why would he continue to back this guy? Isn't this the same man that asked him to take the fall for Home Plus' insurance scandal? Admittedly, I didn't expect don to sell out to the guy who tried to kill him but hey when he's offering more than twice market value, maybe you forgive a little.

The financial well being of the Henricksons is a secondary concern at this point with both Bill and Barb facing charges of statutory rape and procuring. The DA plans to build their case around testimony from Margene. Bill and Barb would have been fine if Margene would have stuck to the plan and given the authorities nothing to build the case around but in true Margene fashion she cracked under the pressure and started blabbing like a five year old with a secret. I kind of had a feeling Barb was going to dragged into the investigation based on Margene's speech at the youth rally. What I'm not exactly thrilled about is how the other wives have turned on her and her role in all this. Nicki and Margene's assertion that bringing more wives into the fold was somehow Barb's doing seemed completely out of left field. Unless I'm forgetting key moments of Anna's courtship. Nice comeback on Barb's part throwing the secret resealing back at them. I'm still having trouble understanding why Barb is still hanging around though. Her marriage is broken. Her kids are all but grown and the other sister wives are throwing her under the bus. Where is her motivation for sticking by the family? Bill's genes suggest a willingness to cast out the wife who steps out of line. Nicki's insistence on getting her own lawyer was a bit puzzling. Even though she has gotten everything she has wanted lately she is still singing the poor mistreated outcast tune. I've turned on Nicki this season. Although I find her character infinitely more interesting, I find her far less likable. Her selfishness, rudeness and general ignorance though always there have just rubbed me the wrong way this season.

I've been pretty adamant in my apathy towards the Cara Lynn/Mr. Ivey storyline this season. I haven't seen the point of taking away screen time for what seems like a rehashed plot. We got a nice return on our suffering this week though. The first fireworks came when Margene found out about the relationship and Cara Lynn turned to Ben for help. Ben has been a general dud all season. I don't blame him. How is he supposed to recover from the Greenes in Mexico fiasco from last season. Anyway, I thought his confrontation with Nicki was his best scene of the entire series. His willingness to stand up to her finally revealed the maturity and spine long time fans had wondered if he'd ever have. Following Ben questioning Nicki's mothering ability we were treated to another terrifically explosive scene when Nicki took Cara Lynn to break things off with Mr. Ivey. You saw all the frustration and pain Nicki endured from being a child bride herself explode into a fit of rage at Greg. She couldn't change what had happened to her but she was damn well not going to let her daughter follow that same path, at least not right now. I still think Cara Lynn's story ends with her running off with Greg to be married. She's harboring ill will towards Nicki for the death of her father and her defiance is only growing more bold. Of course, if Nicki doesn't survive Alby this will all be moot.

Before we talk about Alby's actions tonight can we just address the elephant in the room? Aside from Solonius on Spartacus, Alby has by far the best haircut on television. His pompadour is outstanding. Now Roman's cowboy hat was more fitting with a compound prophet but Alby's do perfectly fits his Albyness. OK now that we've addressed that let's talk about what Alby's up to. I love his attempt to sink Bill through the back door. What better way to destroy Bill than from the inside? Bill should know by now that trying to get Alby to back down by threatening him only leads to Alby going to greater extremes. Bill threatening to expose Alby's "tendencies" and past transgressions was all the excuse Alby needed to call in a hit on Bill. Alby should be better at hiring his assassins though. Don't hire the guy who just botched offing Don to shoot Bill. Verlan may be a damn fine guy to watch undress but he's proven to be a failure at killing folks. Pretty bold of him to ask for a raise after failing his first attempt at being an assassin. Crazy Rhonda and their baby's got to eat though.

Nicki's brashness and lack of tact got the best of her once more. After learning of Alby's plans to kill Bill she verbally assaults her brother with insults and threats. As we've already discussed, AlbyAlby loves his sister but not even she is immune to his wrath. Nicki kneeling before a five foot grave with a gun to her head is a testament to how fed up Alby is with her and the Henricksons. Fortunately for her, Nicki is the one person in the world Alby does truly love and makes Verlan pay for exposing his plan to kill Bill. Poor Verlan, it's all fun and games being Alby's boy toy until he tires of you and buries you in a shallow grave on the compound. The final image we are left with is Nicki standing on the Henrickson's back port dazed in a filthy prairie dress.

So where are we going in the final two episodes? I think the law closing in and an ultimate battle with Alby all point to Bill and Nicki returning to Juniper Creek with Bill taking his grandfather's former position as the compound's prophet. Even with Bill offering to resign his senate seat the DA is still moving forward with prosecuting him. Alby, I believe ends up dead at the hands of Nicki or Adaleen. There was a little clue in this episode when Alby tells Verlan that no crime committed on the compound has ever been convicted. I think the final unprosecuted crime is the murder of Alby and his glorious hair. I'm conflicted about Barb. I want her to get away from Bill but I'm now concerned that procuring charges may force her to an unfulfilled existence on the compound as well. I can't see Margene ending up with them though. She is completely different from the other wives. She has matured since becoming a part of the Henricksons and now sees there are things in life she can only have outside the family.

Random Notes:

• I found the occult thing bizarre but more than that it was resolved awfully quickly and without satisfaction.
• What is Grant Show's role in all of this? Is he just working as a LDS agent to break apart the Henricksons?
• I found the visit from the other Senator interesting towards the end of the episode telling Bill to continue fighting. 
• If you ever have a secret do not say anything around Heather. That girl is nothing but trouble.
• If Carl and Pam were swallowed by an earth quake, I wouldn't care and neither would you.
• I hope Nicki never "rescues" me from anything.

Big Love "Til Death Do Us Part" Review

I appreciate that HBO and Showtime have schedules that allow them to air programs a multitude of times. The also understand viewers in some sense set their own schedules these days with DVRs. However, for schmoes like me and Barry charged with reviewing these shows running a new episode head to head with the Oscars creates a scheduling pain in the ass. How's a guy supposed to go to a bitchin' Oscar party, get home after midnight and still find a way to watch these Sunday night shows? Enough of my problems though, what went down on Big Love?

It's difficult to say there was something admirable about Roman or Alby but at least we can say they knew what they were/are. Bill on the other hand is in complete denial. Either that or he's a complete moron who fell ass backwards into building a successful business. I'm finding it more difficult to tell with each passing episode. Bill has managed to completely alienate the two people who have stood by him through the years, Barb and Don. His refusal to compromise with the LDS or Alby has led to Home Plus teetering on the brink of failure. Costing not only himself and his family but his business partner Don as well. Don never asked for any of this but Bill has continued to force his business principles on his "friend" to the point that Don's own livelihood is in peril. All Don has ever wanted is his three wives and kids, a nice successful business and a life out of the spotlight. Thanks Bill you've ruined that dream.

The position he has place Barb in is even more precarious. She has already left Bill's church, granted him his "paper" divorce and leaving her exposed to Nicki's crazy whims. Now with the families financial security at risk Bill has the balls to ask Barb, Margene and Nicki to reseal themselves to one another. Don't think everything is OK just because Barb wants a little action. Sister wives have needs too. I keep wanting to say Bill's not the dumbest husband on Earth just the most selfish but the evidence points otherwise. But don't sleep on Bill's selfishness, it's a favorite in most match ups.

Would a smart guy have a discussion about marrying a 16 year old in front of Heather? Would a smart guy under public scrutiny let that same 16 year old he married start holding rallies on television? Would a smart guy who has enemies in the state house think this is a good time to file divorce papers? Would a smart guy choose now to go to war with Alby who is capable of doing literally anything? What I'm trying to say here is Bill Henrickson, idiot.

Speaking of Alby, no one rallies the compound troops like our man. No cell phones, no TVs, no computers, I couldn't live under his regime but he does no how to lock it down. His smarmy responses to Bill when he raised the rent on Home Plus was pure gold. Still, Alby just can't resist the smooth skin of a dirty Mormon boy and Verlan seems to be just fine with that. I'm pretty sure Verlan is going to be earning his position as Alby's pet in more way than one. I don't know exactly what he's going to do for Alby but I'm pretty sure sex, guns and Bill are involved.

There are a few story lines that have become white noise to me Cara Lynn and her teacher, Lois and Margene's pyramid scheme. I'm finding it tough to see the bigger picture of the Cara Lynn saga. Is there a dramatic payoff here? To me, I feel like Amanda Seyfried left the show and they felt like they had to fill a teen girl transitioning into womanhood void. The only problem being no one noticed the void. This final season should be about the sister wives. This storyline offers nothing in the way of character revelation or redemption for the Henricksons. At this point, it is nothing more than a waste of screen time. If we're lucky the two of them will run away together and elope never to be heard from again.

As far as Lois is concerned we know she is bat shit crazy. I'm almost certain Lois believes she is Sarah Palmer at this point. She tried to kill Frank and herself this week and I thought "yeah that's nice way to put a pin in Lois and Frank they ride off into the sunset victims of their own insanities." Alas, Barb came in too soon and my dream was squashed. Lois is going to end up in a home but the way her idiot son is committing self sabotage I don't know who's going to pay for it.

Margene's pyramid scheme was funny at first. She's naive and gullible. So it was natural for her to get involved in a scheme like this. Now, it's just kind of an irritant. Bill's already fighting a two front war if Goji gets involved Bill's house of cards crumbles.

Where is this all going with only three episodes left? Obviously, they are going to pursue statutory rape charges against Bill for marrying Margene when she was only 16. Is Barb going to be implicated as an accomplice based on Margene's speech about how Barb was the one who brought her into the family? The farther this progresses with the state house, the law and LDS all after Bill and a war with Alby on the horizon, I feel like end all ends with Bill and Nicki together as the heads of Juniper Creek.  I think viewers get solace in Barb's escape from the situation and forming her own church. Margene is the wild card but I think she ends up in the secular world finally leading the kind of life she never new was available to her.

A few other thoughts:

• Jeanne Tripplehorn has been outstanding all season.
• Cloe Sevigny was incredible last night. She was utterly convincing as a woman in her 30's finally getting a chance to live out her girlhood fantasies of a wedding and marriage.
• The secret sealing ceremony was almost as despicable as asking Barb for a divorce.
• I liked Carl better when he was cleaning the pool at Jerry Seinfeld's health club.
• I'm thinking Utah divorce laws might not be as easy as Big Love makes them out to be.
• 2 more episodes until Amanda Seyfried and Aaron Paul return. That's a good thing.
• I'm over Crazy Rhonda.
• I just realized this weekend that Heather is the little girl from Water World also starring Jeanne Tripplehorn.
• If I ever have another wedding I'm definitely wearing a white suit like Bill's. Except I'm also going to wear Raylan Givens cowboy hat.

Big Love "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." Review

"Are you and Renee Clayton being lesbians together?" Nancy Davis Dutton

I have no reason for starting this review with that quote except that it made me laugh out loud. The real stars of this week's episode "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." were Jeanne Tripplehorn and the disintegrating relationships in the Henrickson house hold. Seriously, if Tripplehorn isn't nominated for an Emmy for her performance this season it will be a terrible oversight. She and the writing for her character have been outstanding this season.

Poor Barb can't win for losing. When she's squarely in the Henrickson polygamy camp her mother and sister won't have anything to do with her. Now that things are falling apart they are coming after her because she has formed a relationship with a "radical" free thinker like Renee Clayton. I can't think of a worse place to be than in a room with Nicki and Bill on one side and Nancy on the other. I love what Barb is doing. I think long time fans of the show have been dying for her to finally tell Bill what he can do with half the bullshit he puts her through. And very smart of Barb not to trust Nicki with her financial welfare. Barb has always been written as the most level headed, intelligent character on the show. Those attributes are a big reason fans are so happy to see her making her own way.

Was there a less surprising turn than Nicki getting drunk on power. She's gonna make sure everyone knows it's her time and she's now BWOC (Big Wife on Compound). She isn't going to let poor Margene do anything, ever. Especially if it involves a scandalous song like "Bridge Over Troubled Water." I don't think she liked the reworked divorce agreement and pre-nup too much. I did thoroughly enjoy her "right now I want to punch you in the face." I'm a big proponent of telling people you want to punch them in the face so that was right in my wheelhouse.

That Ben is quite the chip off the ol' block isn't he? He's turned out to be quite the little know it all prick. Can't we just trade him in for half a season of Amanda Seyfried? I'm about as disinterested in Ben as Barb and Bill were in his "How to Problem Solve a Marriage" literature. Good decision going after Crazy Rhonda, that doesn't have the potential to blow up in your face. At least we know he gets his poor decision making honest. By the way, what kind of crazy strip clubs are they running in Utah? I've been to my share of those places but I've never seen one that lets the strippers sing their own songs. I'm kind of intrigued now.

I can't decide if the Lois and Frank scenes were the sweetest, saddest or scariest shit I've ever seen. I kept waiting for Lois to chop his head off or for Frank to strangle her deranged ass. There's got to be a murder suicide on the horizon for these two.

How little do I care about the Cara Lynn and her teacher stuff? I didn't even realize the two of them had kissed last week. It's the final five episodes of the final season. I don't need new characters and their story lines taking away from the great stuff going on inside the Henrickson household or from great established characters like Alby.

Speaking of Alby, he has got to have the most finely tuned gaydar on the planet. He never misses. I would not want to be Verlain and having to pay Alby back for a poorly executed job with "favors." The scene with Bill, Don and Alby didn't measure up and really seemed forced and out of place.

So where are we headed. Judging from the previews, things really start to heat up with Alby. Just as I predicted it appears Bill is making a power play with Juniper Creek. Things can get ugly in a hurry with Alby and his gang of Hummer jockeys. I want to see Barb continue her journey of self realization. Bill can either get on board or be stuck dealing with Nicki all by himself. Margene must have been a big Melrose Place fan because she's got it bad for Grant Show and you know he naive ass is going to find herself putting everything in jeopardy again chasing her lusts.

Big Love "The Special Relationship" Review

Power plays and relationships dominated tonight's episode.

I don't practice the principle so maybe I just don't understand but asking one of your wives for a divorce so you can legally marry one of your other wives seems a bit insulting. Especially in a system where sister wives are constantly jockeying for position. Yet that's exactly what Bill did. Kudos to you Bill. You might want to rethink those pistols you bought the wives for Christmas.

Of course this is exactly the opening Nikki needed to make her power play to move up the sister wife hierarchy. Nikki used Barb's reluctance to submit to Bill's wishes as an excuse to accuse her of putting herself above the family. Barb even admitted she feels as though her relationship with Bill is special and with good reason. As she explained, they were a married couple for more than a decade before Bill decided to return to the principle and bring Nikki into their marriage. I think Barb has always seen Nikki as an intruder and Margy as an annoyance.

Barb gave Nikki all the ammo she needed to build a wedge between her and Bill when she confided in Nikki her desire to be one of the families priests. She has struggled all season with her calling even though she has been rebutted at every turn by people like her mother, Nikki and now Bill. My favorite part of the exchange between Barb and Nikki is when Nikki called her a "modern and libber." Nikki forcing Barb to confess this desire to Bill in the middle of a Senate session seemed very childish and right in line with Nikki's character.

Bill rebuked the idea outright as an affront to their entire belief system. Barb however is an educated woman. We are reminded of that through her interaction with the other Senate interns. As an educated woman Barb sees the injustice in a religious or any other system that places men above women. It was wonderful to see the anger growing in Barb throughout the episode as she faced roadblock after roadblock from family members. This desire for the role of priest holder and Bill's blockade against it led us to the climactic final scene. With Bill and Barb sitting on the bench where Bill had proposed more than twenty years before facing an impasse in their marriage, Barb turns to Bill and says "we have to get divorced." She didn't say that in the "so you can adopt Cara Lynn" way but in a way that says "our paths are diverging."

We already know Bill's not a great husband but he also continues to be a pretty bad politician. He struck a deal with Senator Dwyer to get funding for his Safety Net program but has to cease his publicity campaign for the principle. No one would expect Bill to see the LDS behind this deal he's struck. I mean Bill rarely sees beyond his nose and is often concocts the most short sighted big picture plans. Anyway, when Bill is called to a meeting with LDS members he's completely blindsided by the fact the LDS holds a lot of sway in the state legislature. Why would they? It's not like they're in Utah or something. Regardless, the LDS want Bill to stop using the term Mormon to describe himself or they will be forced to get the anti-polygamy bill back on the docket. Our self righteous hero will not be pushed around and basically tells the LDS "you wanna throw, then let's throw." Or something like that.

On a happier note, Alby is back at it and saying outstanding things like "you are now an Albyite." Then consumating the deal with a tall glass of milk. If you can't see how truly splendid Alby is then you were probably watching the Grammys last night. Alby wants Bill to suffer and sending Verlan to kill Don was just his first move.

So where does this leave the Henricksons and the good people of Utah. I think we're going to see Barb strike out on her own for at least a few episodes. Barb's search for her spiritual calling is one of the more interesting story lines for me. I do hope Rhonda and Verlan hang around longer just so we get more of Rhonda's crazy. Dinner time with Rhonda should be it's own show. Nikki will move in to the top spot but in true Nikki fashion she will alienate everyone including Cara Lynn. Bill going to battle with the LDS could drive him out of the public eye and towards a private battle with Alby for control of Juniper Creek. 

What do you think?

Big Love "The Oath" Review - 2/6/11

If tonight is any indication, we're in for a crazy jam packed final six episodes as Big Love rides off into the Spirit World.

Big Love had been on a slow build towards Bill's swearing in ceremony. Tonight's episode reached the apex of that build with a climatic showdown between the three sister wives that has been five seasons in the making. Barbara finally came clean that Nicky's introduction into her life is what really changed her marriage to Bill. This revelation came as Nicky was accusing Margene of causing the chasm in their lives. It was the perfect scene to kick off the beginning of the end of Big Love. All the cards were laid on the table and the wives all began to understand how they have effected one another. And the only possible way a coming to Jesus argument like this could end is with Bill in the Hospital after being run over by Margene.

Where do the wives go from here? The stand by their man of course. If Bill has one special talent, it's his ability to create enemies. So far this season he's found a way to piss off the leaders of the various compounds, his business partner, all his wives, his constituency, the president of the state senate and now he's bribing the Attorney General. Way to go Bill you're quite the polititian. At least you're sworn in now. However long that lasts.

On the loony front, welcome home Rhonda. Oh how we've missed you and your crazy ways. I see you're still adept at threatening and alienating people. Unfortunately, the guy you're trying to threaten is one Alby Grant a nut job above your station. He likes the looks of your hubby though. I wasn't sure if he was making sex eyes at Verlan or if he just saw a pawn to use against Bill.

We did find out that Lois's crazy isn't her fault though. Apparently Frank sexed the crazy into her years ago and it's now coming to roost. I've always had a tough time with scene's involving Lois because I can't separate Grace Zabriskie and the character of Sarah Palmer. Every time she's on screen I get an uneasy feeling Killer Bob is just around the corner. If you don't know what I'm talking about you need to pick up the Twin Peaks DVDs and come back when you're done.

Six episodes. A ton of story lines. A vengeful Alby Grant. It should be fun.

Big Love "Certain Poor Shepards" - 1/30/11 *spoilers*

Honestly, I thought that rendition of the Hokey Poky was a bit too risque for those innocent little Mormon kids.

Here's the biggest issue I see with polygamy, shit gets confusing and the next thing you know everything is twisted. All Bill wants to do is buy his lovely wives pistols for Christmas and instead he finds out he's a statutory rapist who's married to wanna be priestess alcoholic and his momma has gone total bat shit crazy. Santa ain't gonna answer that drive thru box no matter how long you talk to it. 

Either Bill is the most obtuse individual on the planet or he's totally trying to God block Barb. She obviously wants her voice in the family's spiritual life but Bill isn't allowing it. My prediction is this is the issue that ultimately drives them apart.

Oh Margene, if there was one person on television that was going to get caught up in a pyramid scheme, it's Michael Scott. But if there's two it's Michael Scott and Margene. That whole scene seemed there just to set up a future revelation concerning the neighbors marital problems. I don't know why we should care about them but apparently the writers think we should. Margene's bigger problem was her own revelation that she was only 16 when she married Bill. Normally that's a little too old for these polygamist guys but Bill thinks this might hurt his Senator hood. He's probably right. Is the show going to end before he gets sworn in? Just asking. Seems like it's been a long time. Bill's got a fight brewing in the State House and marrying underage girls isn't going to help. However, a bigger issue than marrying underage girls is his creepy Henrickson live nativity scene in his front yard. What was that?

I'm a big proponent of more Alby. The guy is pure gold on screen. I mean who doesn't love a guy who kills dogs, threatens his mom and dooms one of his wives to eternal damnation? If I'm running the show, I say to hell with this dumb Senator story let's got to war between Bill and Alby. Surely they could fill the last half dozen or so episodes. I'm worried they've opened up too many stories to do them all justice before the series finale in March.

Overall, good episode but they need to start tightening up some of the story lines before they star careening out of control like Alby at a Thunder from Down Under show.

By the way, I like what the tribe has done with the casino.

Sunday Night TV - 1/23/11

Big Love

The lesson this week is more Barb, Nikki and Margene and less of Bill is a good thing. The relationships between the sister wives has always been the more compelling that whatever scheme Bill is working on. Bill gets to run around and stir up a hornets nest but it's his wives that have to suffer the stings. Barb's walk on the wild side, well the wild side for a Mormon housewife, has been refreshing and a much needed turn for her character. As viewers we've been deprived her story. The story of how Bill re-embracing the principle after many years of marriage has affected her as a woman and her relationships with her family. We knew her family disapproved and relationships were strained but the scars never seemed to be revealed.

Equally refreshing is the maturation of Nikki. She was always too much of a two dimensional character, petulant and predictable in her stubbornness. Now that she is raising her teenage daughter and has turned her back on Juniper Creek, she is evolving into a more complete character ready to reveal the damage growing up on a polygamist compound has done.

I'm of the opinion that Margene should take Bill up on his offer to let her leave the family. One thing the last two seasons have revealed is that She is not going to be happy long term kept in her cage raising kids and waiting for Bill to come home. Her personality is too big for that life and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for her to go on a self realization journey with Ana.

One more item, we need more Alby. No one brings the creepy like him and we need that.


Californication

This weeks episode had two highlights. First we found out producer Stu Beggs is "rich as fuck and hung like a moose." Then the episode closes with Hank finally getting around to writing the "Fucking & Punching" screenplay. In between was a collection of disjointed, out of character scenes that really took us no where.

There is no denying Hank is a poon chasing dog but he does possess a certain integrity that makes him using an assumed suicide attempt to get back into Karen's good graces unbelievable. I think Karen has become a huge problem for the writers. She should have been written off the show after season two but for whatever reason continues to hang around LA. I understand the convenience having a plot tool of you're lead character hung up on his "sole mate" is, but has Karen ever done anything to show us why Hank would be obsessed with her? And having a child together isn't enough. There's very little chemistry between the two. She has yet to reveal a quality about her character that would draw a dynamic person like Hank to her. And worst of all, she's just boring. With the series being picked up for a fifth season, I'm hoping season four finds a way to finally put the death knell in the Hank/Karen relationship.


Episodes

The good news is that each episode has improved on the one before it. The bad news is that Episodes still isn't a good show. I haven't checked my "all holidays" calendar but Sunday must have been Big Dick Day on Showtime. Not only did we find out about Stu Beggs moose like qualities on Californication but much of this week's Episodes revolved around what the Lord has blessed Matt LeBlanc with in penis department. I do know it's going to take more than LeBlanc's giant cock to keep me tuning in past next week. I've been more patient with Episodes than I probably should have but the show is looking like a lost cause at this point. Tune in next week for the funeral.

Shameless 

Hey a really enjoyable episode. That's different. Frank still doesn't offer much more than a catalyst to start fires for Fiona to put out but if that's what the character is, I'm OK with that. I just wish they weren't wasting a talent like William H. Macy to fill that role. Lip and Ian continue to be the most interesting on all the Gallagher clan with Ian revealing to a girl at school he's gay. Unfortunately for Lip that revelation came too late to save him a beating at the hands of the Milkovich brothers.


The Aunt Ginger stuff brought a nice bit of levity to a sometimes depressing household and gave Debbie a place in the episode. It was important to get to know Debbie a little before next week's episode when she apparently steals a baby from somewhere.


This was the first week there weren't lulls where I was bored with what I was watching. Hopefully, things will continue looking up in the weeks to come.

Sunday Night TV - 1/17/11

Shameless

So episode 2 is our real introduction to Frank. He likes to drink. He doesn't like his sons. He's OK with his daughters and he really hates Canada. What we also learn is that even though he's a giant dirtbag, his kids still love their father and even though he makes their lives exponentially harder, they turn west Chicago upside down trying to make sure he's OK. Most of all what we learned is the lengths Frank will go to be taken care of and to continue his plush disability check to disability check lifestyle. He moved in with Sheila (Joan Cusack) and that length appeared to be about 9 inches in a most uncomfortable place. Steve was taught a lesson about coming between Fiona and her family and sorry douche but stealing a minivan for her doesn't make up for kidnapping her dad and dumping him in Toronto. I personally would have been happy to see Fiona give Steve the boot all together but I suppose he'll make his way back into her life and we'll all have to put up with him in the weeks to come. Hey maybe that cop friend of Fiona's can take care of that problem for us.

Californication

Not much really happened this week besides some pill and alcohol induced reflection by Hank and we met Rob Lowe's character Eddie Nero who's slated to play Hank in the movie version of Fucking & Punching. So, what did we learn from this week's episode? Not much. Hank is still ruled by his dick, Runkle is up to fifteen women and Rob Lowe likes to dress up as Brad Pitt. We did finally see Hank feel some remorse for the disappointment and embarrassment he's brought his daughter. I thought Hank's line about wanting Harvey Keitel to play him because Harvey likes to show his dong on screen was fantastic since David Duchovny is a notorious on screen dong swinger.

Big Love

So I decided to stick it out with Big Love because this is the last season and I've made it this far. Fortunately, it looks like I may be rewarded for my loyalty. There's no questioning last season was bad. It was more than bad it was god awful. The whole Bill going down to Mexico and rescuing his family in a blaze of glory nearly forced me to cancel my season pass. In their final season it looks like the show is going back to its core principles by focusing on the family and Bill's fight to live the principle. Gone is the casino, JJ's weird gyno son and just about all remnants of last season's bizzaro world. In comes Barb trying new things like drinking, in comes Nicki bullying ten year old boys and a new group of other polygamists who have been living the principle in secret just like the Hendricksons. We finally saw Bill hit with a bit of humility when he realized the pain and feelings of betrayal he's brought upon the people in his life. Even with this bit of humble pie Bill's still the biggest self righteous gas bag on television but it seems at the state house he may no longer be the biggest fish in his pond.

Episodes

I have to say ep. 2 was much better than the first but still not good enough to inspire me to set a season pass yet. Matt LeBlanc played a very capable TV star Matt LeBlanc with all the typical over sexed, pampered star cliches. Hopefully we've seen just about the last of Myra and Andy. The characters are horribly done and continue to clog up the screen with stale unfunny quips. The bit with Merc's blind wife could have been funny if it had been a bit more subtle but I don't think subtlety is in the plans for this show. The seeds of what will undoubtedly be the main tension of the show were planted this week. Sean is obviously embracing the LA lifestyle and willing to make the necessary sacrifices to get their show on the air. While Beverly will continue to fight against LA, the network, body image issues and Matt. At the current pace Episodes probably has two more chances to build momentum and sell me on it. With as crowded as Sunday night is you've got to better than this to crack the DVR lineup.