Television at the All Star Break

All Stars

Terriers - Terriers is an example of why I love and hate television. It was my favorite show of the 2010 fall season. Excellently cast, written and directed. Donal Logue brought the right balance of dry sarcasm and recovering burn out to the role of Hank Dolworth. Even though I couldn't stand Michael Raymond-James during his run as Rene on True Blood, I thought he was excellent as Hank's partner Britt on Terriers. The writers did a great job creating an updated version of Chinatown without obviously ripping off the Jack Nicholson classic.  Of course, since this was my favorite show of the season FX saw fit to cancel it a week after the season finale. Thanks.

The League & It's always sunny in Philadelphia - Both of these shows started the season slowly with lackluster premieres. Sunny continued a slow run as it wound down the Dennis get married arc but by mid season the shows were producing the funniest hour on television. Taco and Rafi were the the break out stars of the season going away. Taco treated us to modern classics like My Naginata, I'm inside of me and Ghost Monkey. The League added the fear boner, the murder boner and white knuckler to our lexicon this year.  Sunny focused outside the bar this season as we got to see the gang buy a boat, Charlie become a school janitor and Sweet Dee teach a high school Drama class. Mr. Shue could learn a thing or two from her. The highlight of Sunny's season was the premier of the gangs version of Lethal Weapon 5 if you haven't seen it, you need to fix that. Mac's turn as Sgt. Murtaugh is worth the price of admission.


Community - The writers finally figured out what to do with Britta and the show was all the better for it. I could have done without the Betty White cameo but Professor Chang's continued mission of becoming a part of the study group has delivered terrific comedic moments. If there is one thing Community does better than any other show, it's a theme episode. Starting with last season's Modern Warfare episode Community has produced a handful of well crafted clever theme episodes spoofing zombie movies, conspiracy theories and animated Christmas specials.

OK Maybe I have a thing for Lexie

Grey's Anatomy - Yeah, I'm shocked too but this has been the best Grey's season in years. Seems as though the loose gunman in last season's finale opened a wealth of potential character story lines. Dr. Webber is back in his rightful position of Chief. The story lines based around the love lives of the doctors is far less soap opera like since writing off both Izzy and George. The show has been able to get back to the core cast of doctors struggling with the decisions of a demanding career.

30 for 30 - I didn't watch all the 30 for 30 episodes just the ones who's subject interested me. In no particular order my favorite episodes were Run Ricky Run, Pony Excess, Who Killed the USFL?, The U, The Two Escobars, Into the Wind and The Best That Never Was.

Good but not Great

Sons of Anarchy - The season was very uneven and even silly at times. The whole Belfast saga bordered on ridiculous but a great season finale made up of a lot of the disappointments and set things up nicely for next season.


Walking Dead - WD had a great season premier but it's shortened six episode season failed to deliver. The show focused on too many characters we don't care about and really let everyone down with a dud of a finale. Hopefully, a longer run and nearly a year to develop will produce a better season next year.

Modern Family - Season 2 has been a small step back for Modern Family. More Phil and Cameron and less Haley and Alex will go a long way to fixing that.

Todd Margaret- Running Wilde was supposed to be 2010's hit sitcom starring Will Arnett and David Cross but that show has already been canceled. However, over on IFC there is a much better comedy starring David Cross and Will Arnett called The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. Since it's on IFC and not under the constraints of network television, David Cross is free to let go and do David Cross things.

30 Rock - Another good but not spectacular season from 30 Rock. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan have basically carried this show for a while now. They need to return to featuring the writers like Judah Friedlander more and less Kenneth. I have to wonder what effect Tracy Morgan's kidney transplant will have on the show but if that means more Jenna then 30 Rock could quickly slide off the DVR roster. This season's Reaganing is one of my all time favorites.

Rubicon - Rubicon's season was the complete opposite of Sons of Anarchy. Rubicon had a great season exposing a little bit more of the mystery and conspiracy with every episode. The story evolved at a measured pace but fans of the show expected this. Then they crapped the bed with a hurried, disorganized finale. Ultimately, the bad finale didn't matter since AMC canceled the show after just one season. I would like the creators get another shot to entertain us though.

Mad Men - Weird season for Don Draper and we all know Mad Men goes as Don Draper goes. I think this will turn out to be just transition season as we saw Peggy and Pete step into more important roles with the firm. The most intriguing item from this past season was Sterling's Gold.

Boardwalk Empire -  I think I'm more excited for next season than I was happy with this first season. Michael Pitt delivered gold as Jimmy and Stephen Graham was magnificent as Al Capone. Eli, Jimmy and the Commodore plotting Nucky's downfall has me excited about next season but I think I'd be much more excited to learn of a spin off based on Al Capone and the Chicago crew. Make it happen. BTW I think I finally figured out what it is about Lucy that has always bothered me.

Top Chef- The fact that I had to look up who won this last season should tell you all you need to know about last season. Angelo, Tiffany and Ed provided some nice moments but DC was a failure as a location and Eric Rippert was a dud as a regular judge. The All Stars season has already been better than last season even though I haven't agreed with the judges more often than not.

Down Season

Dexter - Oh how you let me down this season Dex. You took up with a terribly uninteresting woman in Lumen. You and Quinn have struck a very strange truce and for whatever reason you let the most heinous killer on the show, Batista and LaGuerta's relationship continue to ruin our lives. The writers turned the most interesting story line, the

Weeds - I have no idea why I haven't cut this show yet. Andy, Doug and Silas are basically the only reasons I keep coming back. Nancy got to whore it up with Zack Morris for a couple of episodes and the traveling evangelical pot show was fun while it lasted but this show has the focus of a High Times staff meeting.

Survivor - Once they voted off Jimmy Johnson and the guy who looked like Moose Johnston the season was exceptionally boring. The positive was I able to watch entire episodes in less than 20 minutes. More conniving, back stabbing players always makes for a more interesting season. Let's try to get it right next time.

Big Bang Theory - The joke has worn thin. We get it. Smart guys living across the hall from hot girl. Sheldon is difficult to live with. Leonard is romantically tortured and they're all big dorks. The addition of Blossom as the female version of Sheldon hasn't added much to the equation. It may be time to wrap this one up.

The Office - I guess we shouldn't call it a down season once it becomes a trend. The Office has been slipping for years and so far this season if appears Michael Scott is going to go out with a whimper. The first half of the season has produced three good episodes. I think most hardcore Office fans wish the producers had decided to end the shows run at the end this season with the departure of Michael. At least we did get to vicariously exercise some of our anger towards Jim's character through Dwight's snowball demolishing of his manhood.

East Bound & Down - The season in Mexico failed on many levels. Mostly it failed by trying to tell the same joke over and over. Don Johnson's stint at Kenny's dad was unnecessary and not particularly funny. They took way to long to get the highlight of the season, Stevie down to Mexico. I'm interested to see if there's anywhere they can take Kenny that will keep us entertained with new comedic situations.

Project Runway - Generally boring cast + unexplained bad judging = bad season.



Cut from the DVR roster

The Big C - This show proved that it takes more than Oliver Platt to keep me interested in a show. Laura Linney was able to create the most unlikeable cancer patient in the history of television. Even Kevin Garnett would agree with me on that.

Glee - Wow. You guys were able to take a fun, interesting show and turn it into a terrible weekly hatefest in record time. Last season, the Glee kids were worth rooting for as the school underdogs. This season I wanted to see them all drown in a giant Slurpee. Want a lesson on doing theme shows? See Community.

No Ordinary Family - Never really got off the ground for me. I hated the kids and wanted more Conrad and Vick Mackey from Romany Malco and Michael Chiklis. I'm not sure crime fighting super heroes can successfully work as a family show. Super heroes inherently require dark sides to balance their powers.

S#*! My Dad Says - The opening credits rolled and the show immediately went from 0 to terrible. I lasted one episode and just barely. A sitcom without a single funny moment might not work.

How I Met Your Mother - Much like Big Bang Theory, HIMYM seems to have run it's course. Get to the part where you meet their mother already. We get it. You have a womanizing friend who wears suits and is played by Doogie Howser. You're friends with a kookie married couple and a struggling news anchor and you really like architecture. Now how did you meet these never aging super patient kid's mother?

More Lenore please

The United States of Tara - Maybe I just hate female lead characters or maybe Tara's multiple personalities wore on me almost as much as her ultra liberal hip family. Do television writers have kids? Based on the kids in these shows I would say no, terrible, terrible characters.

Nurse Jackie -I've been re-watching The Sopranos lately and I find that I have to fast forward through all Melfi and most Carmella scenes because I can't stand Edie Falco's voice and face. A hatred for some one's voice and face make it very difficult to enjoy a show centered on that person.

Hung - It's gonna take a lot more full frontal scenes of Lenore and far fewer scenes of Tanya and Ray's kids to get me to watch again.

ApeDonkey Power Rankings 11/29/10

Top 5



1. Andre Johnson - How great was Dre's day? Let's see. Set an NFL record for being the first receiver to catch 60+ balls in their first 8 seasons. Check. Catch a touchdown to help your team beat one of your biggest rivals. Check. Lay a beat down on the love child of Josh Koscheck and the Lucky Charms leprechaun. Check Check.

2. Nevada - God bless Nevada. You blessed creatures have saved us all from a month of Boise St. overload. I actually gave up on Nevada at halftime when the game was at 24-7. Boise was moving the ball at will and Nevada just didn't seem up to the task. Thankfully I was wrong about Nevada and Boise showed they were not above choking away a lead. Thanks again Nevada and thank you Kyle Brotzman.

3. Terriers -If you haven't been watching Terriers this season then you need to fix that. Terriers is my run away choice for drama rookie of the year. I find the story lines better than Boardwalk Empire and the performances better than Justified. I know there have been rumors of it meeting the same fate as that other rookie, Rubicon. I don't want to face losing another of my favorite shows because you people aren't smart enough to watch it.

4. Antidepressants - To say I'm not a Christmas person would be more than a small understatement. I've always been a bit too socially awkward to be comfortable and much to self indulgent to care how that made others feel. Even as a kid I didn't enjoy Christmas. I never seemed to have the right reaction to a gift and couldn't fake small talk well enough to put others at ease. Now, I'm able to get through the Christmas because I have kids and antidepressants. The kids help me enjoy Christmas because it's about them and their happiness makes me happy. The antidepressants help me deal with everyone else who actually enjoys Christmas.

5. Texas high school football playoffs - I went to my first high school football game since 2002 Saturday night and had a great time. I got a chance to see some people I hadn't seen in years. I mostly hung out with some of my brother's old crew and these boys made the game that much better. The mighty Roughnecks were able to overcome a disastrous second half to advance to the class 3A semi finals. As fate would have it, the Roughnecks are playing at the Berry Center again this week. I've already made my plans to be there. I just need to send Mondo a message to save me seat so I can watch it with those nuts again.

Bottom 5

1. Boise St. - Poor, Poor Boise, this was a tough week, wasn't it. First, they see all their hopes and dreams get flushed down the drain when they choked away the Nevada game. Then, just when things couldn't get worse, TCU bolts for the Big East. Remember a few months ago when you left the WAC to join Utah, BYU and TCU in the Mountain West. That didn't quite work out did it. Now, I'm a well documented hater of BSU but not for the reasons you think. I'm all for the little guy rising up to shake the system. I'm just not for Boise being that little guy. Their fans are insufferable. When you watch a Boise game the first thing you notice is the striking similarities between Boise and Utah Jazz fan, white, angry and way too self important. I wouldn't be surprised in the least to see them do a pass interference call in unison. I know you want to be a player and as long as Chris Peterson is there you might just be. Just know that most of us hate you. So, stop being angry, stop playing most of your games on weekdays, get yourself into a real conference and most importantly get rid of that stupid blue turf.

2. College Voters - I'm probably the last person you'll hear defending Texas A&M but even I find it completely ridiculous that they fell in every single poll this week. They have been on a six game winning streak that included beating Oklahoma, Nebraska and finally arch rival Texas. Yes, Texas sucked this season but I was at that game and from the second half kick on the outcome was never in doubt. Still their victory over UT was so unimpressive that AP voters actually dropped them two spots from 17 to 19. As a result, they will have to watch two of the teams they beat over that past month play for the Big 12 Championship. Just another feather in the cap for college football legitimacy.


3. Kiddie Park - So I was told this was a San Antonio icon. Now if you follow me on twitter, you are well aware of my disdain for the city of San Antonio. I find it to be one of the saddest places on earth. Anyway, this is about Kiddie Park. So let me set the scene. If you grew up in Houston picture Peppermint Park but outside. If not just imagine a scaled down version of a traveling carnival with rides only for kids 1-10 years old. Now, age that carnival 100 years. Place it between a row of crack houses and a ravine to dump any dead bodies. Then hire the inhabitants of said crack houses to run and maintain the rides. Now, before you let your kids ride anything, cover everything with a nice glaze of tetanus and communicable disease. That is Kiddie Park, San Antonio icon.

4. Sgt. Malarkey & Agent Sebso - Poor Sgt. Malarkey we barely got to know you. You came into our lives and let Jordan Chase tell you what to do. Then the next thing you know, you wake up shrink wrapped to a table in a meticulously built kill room with the woman you raped and tortured ready to jam a very large knife in to your heart. Goodbye. You, Agent Sebso we knew a little longer but it was a bad day for you as well. You mistake was not following your instincts to transfer out of Jersey. Instead, you follow that lunatic Van Alden down to the river and beyond all reason let him baptize you. Huh? I know this won't help you now but if a crazy person asks to let him dunk you under water, don't.

5. Green Lantern - We have a new candidate for worst movie ever made. I saw the trailer the other day and Wow. That movie looks terrible. I mean like Dare Devil terrible, Ashton Kutcher movie terrible. I've got an idea for Hollywood. How about you try casting a good actor in one of these parts? Ryan Reynolds? Really? You do realize he was once the star of something called Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Parlor.

ApeDonkey Power Rankings 10/18/10

Top 5

1. FX - This past week's Sons of Anarchy not withstanding, no one has been on a hotter streak than FX. SOA, Terriers, Sunny and The League have all been hitting it on the screws for a solid month now. Donal Logue is one of those actors I've always liked but wished he was on better show (The Knights of Prosperity the lone exception) and it appears he's finally found it with Terriers. Following a slow two week start, both Sunny and The League are in mid season form as the funniest shows on TV. SOA is well SOA. They came out of the gate blasting and have kept it going all season. If you're not up on original FX programming then you hate entertainment.

2. Death to the BCS - If you're a college football fan or just someone who hates fat cat corruption, I can't recommend this book more. The authors Dan Wetzel, Josh Peter and Jeff Passan expose the BCS for the self serving, corrupt and borderline illegal cartel it is. The hypocrisy and obvious double talk coming from the BCS is astounding. Read this book and you'll find yourself pissed every time a new college football poll comes out.

3. Sunday Night Television - While Boardwalk Empire and Dexter continue to do their thing, Mad Men and Rubicon both wrapped up their seasons this week. Mad Men once again delivered as the best drama on television. It was a strange transition season for Don Draper. Of course he continued to plow through women like Rex Ryan through a family size bag of M&Ms but we also got to see him become more introspective and looking for more than just the next great line or lay. Peggy finally shed the little girl in a man's world act and really came into her own. By mid season she was clearly Drapers right hand and second in command of the creative department.

Rubicon had a solid if not spectacular rookie season. As long as you had the patience to let things develop, you were paid off by the writing and acting by season's end. The finale moved at a pace inconsistent with the rest of the season and was sorely lacking in Kale. The whole episode seemed to speed along trying to tie loose ends just in case they don't get a second season. I have no idea if AMC is going to bring it back but I'm all in if they do.

4. MLB Playoffs - Slow down before you start pumping your fist and waxing poetic about the beauty and pageantry of the baseball playoffs, I've watched maybe three innings total. I mean come on it's football season. I'm just so happy that since the MLB playoffs are here Joe Buck won't be fucking up any football games for 3 weeks or so. There are only two types of people who enjoy Joe Buck. People who watch a game with a score book on their lap and people who hate football.

5. Travis Rodgers Now - Travis has been on the air for a couple months now and is easily the best mid day show in the Houston market. It will take you about five minutes to realize where the best parts of the Jim Rome Show came from. Here's a hint, you can hear him from1-3 on 1560am. The truth is 1560 now has the three best sports radio shows on the air. The one anomaly is between 10-1 when some guy name Rogers Hampton laughs for three straight hours at some Rush Limbaugh impersonator. Back to Travis, unless you're one of those strange people who have a job during the day and can't listen to the radio, Travis Rodgers Now is better than anything else on the radio or television at that time. Believe me, I know.

Bottom 5

1. :01 - Maybe Nebraska should have worried less about the :01 of last year's game and more about the 60:00 of this season's. Bo Pelini had his cry baby act in full effect on Saturday so Will Muschamp and the Texas defense gave him plenty to cry about. And yes an Omaha steak taste much better when seasoned with the salty tears of a Pelini brother. The UT defense completely shut down "Heisman candidate" Taylor Martinez, to the point he was pulled from the game in the second half. Yeah, the Nebraska hopes and dreams were dashed Saturday but at least they have classy fans. You know, the classy fans that booed when Curtis Brown went down with an injury. Is Lincoln a popular retirement destination for Philly residents?

2. Women - This was a bad week for women and sports. Florida Gators head coach Urban Meyer allowed Chris "Time to Die" Rainy to rejoin the team. Coincidentally, the Gators were in the midst of a two game (now three) losing streak. Baylor's basketball coach Scott Drew has decided that punching women and breaking their jaw is no longer an egregious enough offense to keep LaceDarius Dunn off the team. Finally, The original fifteen second man Rick Pitino has decided that being 6'10" is penance enough for punching the mother of your one year old son and fracturing her spine. Wake Forest transfer Tony Woods is looking to join Louisville. Way to set an example you makers of men.

3. Texans defense - Terrible. They can't cover. They no longer can stop the run. I've got an idea. How about Bob McNair take a break from trying to break the players union. Rick Smith take a break from looking slick and trying to win every negotiation and Gary Kubiak take a break from hiring defensive coordinators without interviewing candidates and calling grown men kids. How about these guys get together and figure out how to fix this defense. Look, I know it's outside the box to make trades during the season, but aren't you doing your franchise and your fans a disservice if you don't at least call the crypt keeper to see how many souls Nnamdi Asomugha or Richard Seymour will cost. A baby soul like Amobi's has to fetch a decent price doesn't it?

4. Steve Tasker - Tasker is completely over matched being paired with Gus Johnson. In fact, Tasker is completely over matched being asked to offer analysis on football. Once you've caught his act it becomes perfectly clear that he was a special teams guy mainly because grasping an offense was well beyond his mental capacity.

5. Me - Last week I moved Nebraska up to #2. Down they go. I put Antonio Gates in the power rankings top 5. Down he goes. I put Rubicon in the power rankings top 5. Disappointing finale. Old 97's make the power rankings top 5. I can't get a ticket to the sold out show. I also lost 6 of 7 fantasy football games, stubbed my toe in the bath and had a large section of fence torn down by one of my dogs. This week's gotta be better.