ApeDonkey Power Rankings 10/25/10

Top 5

1. Game day with my daughter - This summer when my Longhorn season tickets came in my daughter Audrey told me she wanted to go to a game with me this season. After much consideration, I decided the Iowa St. game was the game to take her to. At the time I assumed this would be a Texas blowout so if we had to leave at halftime, I'd be OK with that. I took her to the game Saturday and regardless of how shitty the Horns played, we had a great time. We showed her around the UT campus and she pointed out to us which dorm she was going to live in. She told me she wanted to stay until half time so she could see if the players got to eat granola bars at half like they do during her soccer games. Ultimately, she decided she wanted to go to another game with me next season. BTW she called the UT loss on Thursday. Kids know.

2. 2010 college football season - Cam Newton, Oregon, great games 11am-midnight and Les Miles' horseshoe. All the great games and players have almost been enough to help me forget how shitty the Longhorns have been. Almost. I'm about as far from a Boise fan as a person can be but I can't argue with anyone who puts them second. However, I really want to see a Auburn v. Oregon national title game. My preliminary final score prediction is 85-83. What I really want though is for all top five teams to remain undefeated to add another nail in the BCS coffin. 

3. The League - I'm hoping to hire Taco to plan my 10 year anniversary party a few years from now. I am afraid he'll show footage from my first wedding though. For the record, I'm perfectly fine if we never see Meegan again. There are plenty of divorced couples that never run across each other and I would just prefer Pete and Meegan become one.

4. MLB Playoffs - I didn't get into the playoffs until the LCS round. The pitching match ups in the NL were stellar and all the games riveting. I was a little less interested in the ALCS mostly because I'm a NL guy. The Rangers are a nice story but they're still Dallas and Dallas can eat it. I have no interest is seeing a bunch of Ed Hardy, Affliction wearing, Dallas douche bags celebrating a World Series victory even though they can't name two players on the team.

5.  My Wife - I don't say this often enough but I have an unbelievable wife. During football season she goes out of her way to make sure I can watch games without being interruption. She does this even though she works 12-14 hours 6-7 days a week. Under normal circumstances, she handles kid birthday party duty during the football season and is reluctant to ask me to do anything out of the norm during games. This Sunday one of Audrey's classmates had a birthday party and my wife and son were both sick.  I was more than happy to step in and take my daughter to the party even though I know my wife would have done it if I had asked. I do everything I can to make her life as easy as possible but I know I'll never be able to give her half of what she gives me. Next Sunday my daughter has another birthday party to attend and I think I'll take her to that one too. Luckily, this one is from 10-noon so I'll be spared the two hour death march that is the NFL pregame shows.


Bottom 5

1. The Yankees - Hey Yanks, remember a few months ago when the you decided you didn't need the services of Cliff Lee or Roy Oswalt? Well tell me how does running A.J. Burnett out to the mound in a game you absolutely had to win taste? Speaking of A.J. can we just call whatever that is meth does to a person's face an A.J. Burnett? Between MLB drug testing and the fact that he's a professional I assume he doesn't do meth but his face would definitely disagree with that assumption.

2. Short term memory of Austin waiters - We ate five meals while we were in Austin this weekend. Not once did a waiter get our order correct the first time. Mind you, these weren't complicated orders. It was simple stuff like ordering iced tea and getting two cups of coffee. Specifically saying no beans and coleslaw and getting two plates of beans and coleslaw. At one point, while having lunch at Kerbey Lane our waiter came and looked at our table three times and couldn't remember he went to get us more chips. Finally, I felt bad for the guy and reminded him. I can't imagine what could cause such short term memory loss.

3. The Longhorns - I've been saying all year, this team plays like they are entitled to win just because they have a burnt orange longhorn on their helmets. The offensive players play as though there are no consequences for their actions. The offensive line is terrible. The WR's play with no urgency and Gilbert has shown no leadership. The defense, who carried the team early, has been wildly inconsistent and someone would be hard pressed to convince me ChykieOC in the mold of Will Muschamp.

4. MLB managers - I don't get the playoff strategy of bringing your starting in to pitch relief. Relief pitchers spend the entire season with a singular focus. Come in, get outs, leave game. They don't work themselves into a rhythm. They have to be on from the first pitch. A starter and reliever mentality is completely different. Starters work themselves into a game. They have to manage the energy they expend per pitch, per batter. Because of all this, I don't understand the strategy of throwing a starting pitcher into a situation they haven't been in before. Twice, in the Giants/Phillies series we saw managers go to the bullpen and call on one of their starters to pitch in relief. Neither was successful. Roy O. gave up the winning run in game 5 and Lincecum struggled to get outs in game 6 until Bochy had to bring in Brian Wilson to get a 5 out save. Managers, stick to the plan. You put these guys on your roster for a reason. They've been good enough to get you here. Let them bring you home.

5. Holiday Inn - Um, it's 2010 right? I couldn't tell at the Holiday Inn this weekend. I didn't even know they still made Ethernet cables but apparently they do because Holiday Inn still thinks this wireless Internet thing is just a passing fad. I can handle bed spreads from 1973 and air conditioners that only make the room 34 or 87 degrees but don't make me get out of bed and sit at some crappy desk with a 2 foot Ethernet cable in order to use the Internet. Unacceptable.