#HandsLikeFeet

There are a few things you can absolutely count on during a Texans game. They will play like shit out of the gate. Steve Slaton will suck at kick returns. Matt Schaub will scream like a little girl at the on coming rush. Gary Kubiak will order white toast with his eggs over easy. The team will make a little comeback then crap its collective pants at the worst possible moment.

One other guarantee in life is that Jacoby Jones will drop several passes that hit him in the hands. Then a few seconds later I will see a post by either MigM_, RyanlostinTX or Clintshane (all very good twitter follows) that simply says #HandsLikeFeet. This never fails to amuse me. The imagery and accuracy is perfect. It also got me to thinking about other athletes/celebrities and their appropriate hashtags.

• Tracy McGrady #PenisLikeVagina
• Tom Brady #ChinLikeButthole
• Yao Ming #BonesLikePeanutBrittle
• Tom Cruise #MarriageLikeDavidCopperfieldTrick
• That 19 Kids and Counting Lady #VaginaLikeClownCar
• Shaq #EyesLikeCyclops
• Peyton Manning #HeadLikeCylinder
• Lance Zierlein #LifeLikeTomBradford
• John Harris #RoseBowlLikeBangBus
• Bob McNair #BusinessmanLikeKruger

I'll add more as they come to me or from the comments section.

The difinitive case for chocolate over vanilla

Why is chocolate better? Here's why....

• no one ever created a delicious candy bar by accidentally dipping their vanilla in peanut butter.
• no one has ever referred to themselves as a vanillaholic.
• most people believe a black & white cookie is only half iced.
• no one has ever ever referred to their self as "Black Vanilla."
• Johnny Depp is infinitely cooler than Tom Cruise.
• a chocolate offense would hang half a hundred on a vanilla defense.
• no one craves a cup of hot vanilla on a cold night.
• there's no such thing at plain chocolate.
• no one ever gave Jesus a vanilla bunny for Passover.
• Vanilla Fudge was a terrible band.