First up is this guy I'm not sure what his name is but he stole Mr. Peabody's glasses so we'll go with that. In the words of Randy Jackson "Dawg, Dawg, Dawg that was aight." Stevie's been done to death but it was good enough to get you through to next week.
Holy Shit did Steven Tyler have his eyes surgically squinted?
Roid Rage is up next with "I'll Be." I've seen this song done maybe 900 times on AI and I still don't know who sings the original. I wouldn't go buffing the calluses off your hands just yet. I don't think you're long for this competition.
This guy's name is Jordan but he looks and sings like Chris Bosh. Next.
I didn't know Jim Halpert had a younger less talented brother but apparently he does and his name is Tim. If I had any idea what song that was I would have already forgotten it.
It's official Paula Abdul was able to sneak up to the judges table by wearing a Jennifer Lopez suit. Clap Clap Clap. You're amazing.
What the hell is this? Geddy Lee had Shaun White's baby and named it Brett. He's brutalizing The Doors right now but how can you vote out a half Canadian, half Red Head gay love child who could literally fit in your pocket.
Wow somewhere Curious George is crying over his missing ears. It's my opinion that all the world's best rockers have come from AI. You know like....uh....ummmm........Hey look he has a tail too.
This guy is boring and rocking the perfect Daniel Larussa hairdo. He better hope the arms of an angel can help him get away from those dudes in skeleton costumes.
Up next Jim Bob Duggar singing a country song in the style of the Crash Test Dummies. He'll get another chance because AI is coocoo for country.
Stefano was infinitely more menacing that Victor Kiriakis on Days of Our Lives. Based on that alone I'm down with this guy minus his ridiculous haircut.
I'm only getting a sense of what this guy looks like because I can't look directly at his teeth without my eyes bleeding so I'll refer to @seanincypress on this one "I liked that dude's voice better when it was named Carol Channing."
What was Randy saying when he call laser teeth "corky?" Was that a Downs Syndrome crack?
This guy can sing nearly as well as he swishes. I like it. Best so far.
I can't say this any better than I tweeted it live "John the Baptist is singing the shit out of this song." And yes I just quoted myself.
That was tonight's performances here's how they line up from where I sit:
Top 3
Swishy Smooth
John the Baptist
Stefano
Bottom 3
Chris Bosh
Jim Halpert's little brother
Roid Rage
AI has proven they don't like skinny black men so I think Chris Bosh is one and done.
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