1. Juliann Faucette - I was fortunate enough to catch the UT women's final four volleyball match vs. Penn St. this weekend. These two teams met in the finals last year in one the best match ups I've ever seen in any sport. Penn St needed a furious comeback to thwart the Lady Horns championship dreams. Once again Penn St. upended the Horns, eliminating them from the tournament. However, the Lady Horns pitched a shutout in the looks department led by their ace Juliann Faucette. Beyond being the best looking player on the court, she was also their best player. Did I tweet that I'd have her babies during the game? And did I mean it? Yes and Yes. Juliann (yes we're on a first name basis following this weekend) was extra special hot on the court. I'm very much looking forward to seeing her on the beach volleyball circuit soon and perhaps in the 2010 Olympics. 
2. Mike Vick - That guy may have killed a bunch of dogs but man can he play football. He put the Giants on the rape stand and choked those bitches out yesterday. Or did they do that to themselves? Either way the Eagles pulled another one out of their asses and Vick had a couple spectacular runs in the fourth quarter. However, neither of the Vick runs were as remarkable and improbable as DeSean Jackson's punt return for a touchdown on the game's final play. If I were Matt Dodge, I would have gone to the Eagles locker room to avoid facing Tom Coughlin. This is a guy who fines you for being late to a meeting if you're not there 5 minutes early. What do you think he does to guys who kick the ball to the games most dangerous return man, when he has specifically told you to kick it out of bounds. I guess is Matt Dodge will soon find himself a lying next to Jimmy Hoffa on the old Meadowlands site. |
| Wow. That really happened |
4. IFC - IFC is quickly becoming one of my favorite channels. This past summer they began running the entire Freaks & Geeks series on Friday nights. They followed that up with Judd Apatow's other series, Undeclared. Their original series starring David Cross and Will Arnett, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret was outstanding. Oh did I happen to mention they also show reruns of Mr. Show and Arrested Development. Now in preparation for carrying reruns of The Larry Sanders Show in the spring they are having a Larry Sanders marathon all day January 1. Lucky for us the idiots that run college football have made sure there is nothing else compelling on that day so we can all sit back and enjoy some Larry, Artie and Hank Kingsley. Hey Now.
5. Me - I had a great birthday on Sunday. My gift from my daughter was a promise not to whine all day and unbelievably she actually delivered. My talented wife redesigned this blog and created a logo for me. I had the best pancakes in Houston at Harris County Smokehouse. Beyond going to eat I'm not sure I moved 20 steps from my recliner all day. The Texans gave me the gift of comedy. Twitter gave me the gift of a forum to make fun of those Texans. I now am 365 days away from my 40's. That's a scary number for some folks but as an unemployed father of two, it doesn't bother me at all. Regardless, turning 40 has to be better than when I turned 30 and someone thought what I really needed was to go to a Creed concert. Even though I had made it explicitly clear that Creed sucked and deserved to have their tour bus driven off a mountain side. This "friend" said I just needed to see them live to get a proper appreciation for them. They bought me a ticket and they were right. Creed sucked even more live than I ever could have imagined. Thanks for that. Bottom 5
1. Texans Fans -Did it look like the team quit yesterday? Yeah I think so too. As bad as the team looks though, the scarier thing is that Bob McNair thinks they are on the right track. At least, that's what he's saying publicly. Maybe yesterday's performance changed his view but I doubt it. McNair has always seemed like a guy that was pushed into buying an NFL franchise. He was the richest guy in the best market to add a new NFL team and that's a good business decision. He's never struck me as either an NFL fan nor a super competitive person. He obviously allows his personal feelings to affect his decisions with the Texans. If he didn't, David Carr's option would not have been picked up when it was evident to everyone, he wasn't a starting NFL caliber quarterback. I hope, no pray that his son or someone gets in his ear and convinces him to blow this regime out. He desperately needs to bring in a veteran NFL personnel guy who has had success to completely revamp this organization. Yeah, I know I'm not telling you anything the 4 million other people in the area don't already know. Unfortunately, the only person who doesn't seem to know what needs to be done happens to be the only person who counts. 
2. - Uncircumsised Houston Texans Players - I don't know if you've heard but The Tebow is starting for the Texans next opponent, the Denver Broncos and he hates foreskin. Among the many miracles The Tebow has performed, circumcising underpriviledged kids is one he likes to get his hands dirty and do manually. But there is hope. There is a group called Intact America or Sat(b)an's Army as Tebowists refer to them, that are putting up billboards and trying to unite the rest of the world against this ghastly tradition of cutting the foreskin from the penises of baby boys. There's a war coming and we'll all have to pick a side. Will you be on the side of The Tebow or will you choose the foreskin?
3. Fantasy Football - Let me start with this, Fuck You Ray Rice. You sucked all year long. You were by far the biggest bust on any of my 7 fantasy football teams. Then after 13 weeks of being a giant turd you have a game like that, 233 yards and 2 Tds. I could even handle you have a good game except because you were such a lousy pick I missed the playoffs in my main league then you explode this week to knock me out of the playoffs in another league. If you want to know how I really feel about you see Ruxin v. Gates on The League. And yes I did wish mouth cancer on you yesterday. 
4. UCLA Dynasty - In case you hadn't heard, the UConn womens basketball team equaled the UCLA 88 game win streak. Except, they didn't. There is no way to intelligently compare the UCLA streak and the UConn streak. Yes, they are both winning streaks involving games played with a hoop, a ball and involving humans. And that is where the similarities stop. I'm not saying the UConn streak isn't impressive because it is. If you win 88 games in a row at anything it's impressive but just because you win three Super Bowls on Madden '11 doesn't mean you can start comparing yourself to Bill Belichick. Hell, Edwin Moses won 122 races in a row. I guess ESPN will have to get stable of goons ready to compare a women's basketball team to a hurdler as they approach that streak. Someone needs to tell Geno, no one is saying his girls don't deserve recognition but just don't disrespect those great John Wooden teams by comparing yourself and your sport to what they accomplished.
5. Tron Legacy - Wow sorry Tron maybe I was wrong. That $43 million you pulled in this weekend was a little less than the $4 trillion or so I predicted for you. Worse still it's significantly less than the $200 million it cost to make the movie. I know it's just the opening weekend but with a low buzz/marketing ratio and lukewarm reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, I'm a bit skeptical it has the traction to be called a success.
New look looks good.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Fuck You Ray Rice!