Are you ready for some TV? pt. 4 NBC

Ron Swanson American Hero

Seriously, what's the best we can hope for from the same people that put The Jay Leno Show on in prime time five days a week. These people have already proven their stupidity, now they can only build on it. That's exactly what they've done this season. It takes a special kind of idiot to take one of your best shows, Park and Recreation, out of your lineup and replace it with what sounds like one of the dumber premises this season, Outsourced. Parks and Recreation had really hit its stride last season and was only building steam with the additions of Adam Scott and Rob Lowe so of course it should be pulled from the fall lineup and not be brought back until the spring. That strategy has never backfired.

NBC is the only network that doesn't have a new show worth checking out. The Event? No thanks, I'll keep getting my conspiracy fix from Rubicon. The Chase? Jerry Bruckheimer and I'm out. Maybe I'll Netflix Chuck and give it a shot. Although, since I've heard good things about it NBC will soon give it the Friday Night Lights purgatory treatment.

Fall Roster

Alison Brie. That is all.

Community - Thurs 7c - Community ran neck and neck with Modern Family for best new show all last season. Unlike, Glee when Community broke out a theme show, they nailed it. The Modern Warfare episode was probably one of the five best episodes in all television last season. Each member of this outstanding cast (Britta not withstanding) has found their comedy sweet spot and the writers have continued to find creative story lines in what seems like a limited setting. I pray they can keep it up for a few more seasons.

30 Rock - Thurs 7:30c - 30 Rock still very solid. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan make it a must watch every week.

Veterans trying to avoid being cut

More Nard Dog

The Office - Thurs 8c - The Office has enough equity built up that it really doesn't have to worry about being cut. However, the past two seasons have been very disappointing. Note to television producers everywhere, anytime you want to kill a show, kill the sexual tension by allowing lead characters to get together. Since, The Office has already made that mistake my suggestion is less Jim & Pam and much more Nard Dog. They also need to rekindle the Nard Dog v. Dwight rivalry. This season I'll still be watching but I just don't think I'll be enjoying it as much.

Rookies trying to make it

None. Congratulations NBC you suck. Keep running The Apprentice and finding new cities to throw a Law & Order in. No one really expects more from you.

Are you ready for some TV? pt. 3

On average, I lend about 95 minutes of my television watching attention to FOX per week. That's an hour of Glee, 33 minutes to watch the actual American Idol performances, fast forwarding through Ryan Seacrest and all judges comments and 2 minutes for the AI results show.

By all accounts, there are some pretty good shows on FOX; House, Lie to Me, Fringe. I've just never been interested enough to give them a shot. Not even the network stalwarts like The Simpsons or Family Guy have been able catch my eye. In the twenty or so years The Simpsons has been on the air,  I've only ever watched one full episode. I don't know what it's called but it involves pirates and a monkey named Furious George. Strangely, I've seen this same episode about five times. I never needed to check out Family Guy because when I worked at HP every fourth person there could and would quote entire episodes whether you wanted them to or not.


Let's see if Fox has anything worth me upping my viewing time to at least 2 hours a week.


Fall Roster

American Idol - ? - This isn't a fall show but it will make my viewing rotation when it comes back in January. I don't start watching until they get to Hollywood. I love a good train wreck but only when it's real. The audition rounds are just a bunch of goofs trying to get famous by being bad. No thanks.


Veterans trying to avoid being cut


Glee - Tue 7c - Glee was a lot like the Houston Texans last year. A great half followed by a terrible half. It came out of the gate dominating. It even looked like the show would run away with best new show of the season. The characters were good the songs were great and Sue Sylvester, was well, Sue. Then the holiday halftime came and it all fell apart. I guess once the show became a hit labels behind music artists became interested in getting their music featured on the show. The show started with the theme episodes, special guests and terrible musical numbers including Quinn's pregnant dance fiasco. The two special guests were the exception. Kristen Chenoweth and Neil Patrick Harris were both outstanding adding depth to Will's back story instead of being a distraction like the other guest stars. The story lines they had created and cultivated the first half of the season were derailed and the new story lines lacked the authenticity of the originals.  Even though Glee stumbled in the second half, it closed strong with an excellent finale.  I have high hopes for Glee this season but if the rumors of Britney and Justin Bieber episodes turn out to be true, I may be gone before Thanksgiving.

Rookies trying to make it
 
Lonestar - Mon 8c - I'm seriously considering suing the producers of this show for using my life's story without my consent. Lonestar revolves around a guy living in Houston married to a wealthy oil man's daughter, who leads a double life in Midland with a girlfriend and cons people out of their life savings. Now if that isn't me what is? If the premise isn't enough to get you to watch then maybe this will Adrianne Palicki. 

Running Wilde - Tue 8:30c - I can only think of two successful 30 minute sitcoms on FOX ever, Married with Children and Arrested Development. And the success of Arrested Development at least ratings wise is debatable. However, I can't resist Will Arnett. Whether he's playing Gob or Devon Banks on 30 Rock, Will Arnett kills. Honestly, I think he'd be the perfect replacement for Steve Carell on  The Office. I'll give it a shot but I'm not holding out hope for it to make a long run.

Are you ready for some TV? pt. 2

The baddest man on the planet

A decade or so ago, CBS was the preferred network of anyone over the age of 60. They provided such geriatric pleasers as Murder, She Wrote, JAG, Touched by an Angel, Diagnosis Murder and Walker Texas Ranger. Then in 2000, they came out with a little show called CSI. Now with three franchises, CBS is THE network for the amateur forensic scientist and potential murderers. In fact, up until about a year ago, I thought there were five franchises. Then I noticed two of them were something call NCIS. I assume this is CSI for the functioning dyslexic.

In the ten years of the CSI, I have seen exactly one episode. I was having dinner at a date's house, cheese tortellini. She was a fanatic of the show, so we watched. A few hours later I left her house disappointed. I never saw the girl or CSI again.

This was a long way of telling you I'm not watching any CSI, NCIS or any other show like Criminal Minds, The Mentalist or Medium.

Fall Roster

I hope they have beer on the Island

Survivor - Wed 7c - I've watched Survivor since the beginning. I still remember wishing Rudy would win season 1 by cutting the throats of all the other competitors. Such a let down. These days I usually watch it after it's been recorded so I can fast forward through most of the fluff and watch the challenges and tribal councils. This year I may watch a little more of scheming just to see how Jimmy Johnson does. There's also the question of on which day of not bathing and swimming in the ocean will his hair finally start to lose its shape. My hope is that someone who deserves to win does. That's a rarity on this show.


Veterans Trying to avoid being cut

Big Bang Theory - Thur 7c - This is a new day and time for BBT. This show is still one of the better written 30 minute sitcoms but after three full seasons, I think the joke of two scientists living across the hall from a supposedly hot waitress may have run its course. I'll likely give it an episode or two to prove itself but the odds are against it.

How I Met Your Mother - Mon 7c - I'm still a fan of Jason Segel and Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) is good for a laugh or two but I've grown tired of the rest of the cast. If my dad had tried to tell us a story that lasted this long, we would have turned off the DVD and put on MTV after the first episode. During football season MNF rules this time slot so I'm not sure I'll ever find out how Bob Saget met those kids mother.

Rookies Trying to Make it

All the reason you need

Hawaii Five-O - Mon 9c - This show looks to have a lot going for it. By a lot I mean Grace Park as a local surfer who I assume will be running around in a skimpy bikini at some point. Scott Caan and Danial Dae Kim are nice to have on the cast but mostly this trial is about Grace Park.

S#*! My Dad Says - Thur 7:30c - This is based of one of the first great follows I found when I joined Twitter. I'm more than a little skeptical of how it will translate to prime time television though. I would be much more excited about the show, especially with William Shatner on board, if it were on a cable network like FX. Unlike most broadcast networks, they are willing to push the envelope on language and subject manner over there.

As for the rest of the CBS lineup...

I'm not sure what amazes me more. The fact that someone at CBS gave Jim Belushi a show or that they expect anyone to believe he could be a lawyer. Either way, I'm not going to insult your taste by listing the name of the show.

Mike & Molly - A fat, blue collar couple trying to make it through the beginning of their relationship. No thanks, I lived it, I don't need to relive it. And by the way, I'm pretty sure the eight years my ex and I made it is about seven and a half years longer than Mike & Molly will.

Up next FOX or as I like to call it, Joe Buck, Animation and Dead Air....

Are you ready for some TV?

The NFL's preseason started tonight so I thought it was time I finally got off my butt and started my own preseason camp. It's time to get the DVR ready for the fall season. Just like an NFL team I've got more shows on the roster in the preseason than I can take into the regular season. I've got my sure fire starters, my solid pros, the vets that slipped last season and need to win a their job back and I've got the rookies looking to push these slipping vets right off the depth chart.

I'm going to run through the schedule network by network. Why? Well it's my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. On that note, ABC seems like the most logical place to start.

Fall Roster

Modern Family - Wed 8c - Last year Modern Family narrowly edged Community for Rookie of the Year honors. They come back this season ready to anchor Wednesday night. It was a can't miss last year and we expect nothing less from Phil, Cam and company this season. If Fisbo happens to make another appearance, all the better.

Grey's Anatomy - Thurs 8c - Ok this was the other reason I wanted start with ABC. I wanted to just go ahead and get this out of way. Yes, I watch Grey's Anatomy. I'm not particularly proud of it but I've watched it since it's first episode and have found it very hard to stop. There now you know. As far as the show goes, it has been slipping for some time now. Grey's has spent the past two seasons tip toeing the cut line, only to escape each time. The show made three adjustments that has kept it on my active roster. Getting rid of George was a great first step in redeeming the show. Letting Izzy walk was another great move. Those two moves alone probably keep them on the roster another season or two but just to make sure they added Kevin McKidd to the cast.  I'm not going to lie, I have a big man crush on the guy formerly known as Lucious Vorenus. Now if they let Meredith die in some horrible fashion they may be in for Pro Bowl contention.

Saturday Night College Football - Sat 7c - Yes please, may I have some more. I'm not going to be DVRing the games but I'll definitely be watching them.

Veterans Trying to avoid being cut

There are no veterans fighting for a spot from ABC.  ABC's program is down from it's heyday and is no longer producing a lot of top talent.  

Rookies Trying to Make it

No Ordinary Family - Tues 7c - Lot's of people are suckers for any kind of superhero show and I'm no different. It will good to see Vic Mackey uh I mean Michael Chiklis make a run at being a good guy again. Superheros, Michael Chiklis, Julie Benz that's enough to earn it at least a few episodes try out on this team. 

The rest of ABC is pretty much garbage

DWTS - No thank you, I don't think I've watched a dance show since Solid Gold and Dance Fever were tearing up the airwaves when I was a kid. Besides, if I really need my Cheryl Burke fix, I can just go the the Internet and download pictures while watching Sunny reruns.

Americas Funniest Hove Videos - Really? The fact that this show is still on may be the best argument for the Taliban in their fight against westernization.