Forget it, Donkey, it's Netflixtown

Private Investigator must have been the most bad ass job during the 30's, 40's and 50's. The guys were constantly nailing the jilted client or the dysfunctional target. They moved seamlessly amongst lawmen and the leaders of the underworld alike. They had the freedom to capitalize on play both sides against the middle and always found a way to get paid. Even in the 80's you had Thomas Magnum driving around in a Ferrari and slaying everything that moved in Hawaii. Before he was a movie star Bruce Willis as David Addison was able to charm his way into every random pair of panties that walked through the office doors while still working Maddie

So what happened over the past two decades? I have a friend who is a PI and from the stories he tells, the life isn't all that exciting. You apparently work crazy hours, spend your nights waiting for guilty couples to come out of hotel rooms and getting to break the news to women that their husband can't keep it in his pants. As far as I can tell, the jilted spouse never wants a revenge bang from the PI.


I can only assume PIs coast to coast spend those long hours in strip club parking lots dreaming about the good old days.

Chinatown - See -The latest installment of my 70's classics series was Chinatown. A beautiful film noir directed by Roman Polanski and starring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. The story twists and turns like a lonely road in the Hollywood Hills. Private investigator JJ Gettis (Nicholson) seemingly ends up working for everyone before the movie is over. Every time he thinks he knows what he's looking for or who's to blame the case takes a hard right turn. This is a great film.

The Runaways - Don't See - About 20 minutes into The Runaways I sent out a tweet stating I was watching it. A friend asked me what it was so I sent him a link with the description. His response "that looks like the worst movie ever." He wasn't far off. If you know anything about the band The Runaways, who's members included Joan Jett and Lita Ford, you know there is a great story behind the band's success. This movie failed to capture any of the compelling parts of their story. Pile on terrible performances by Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning and you have one of the worst movies I've seen this year.

Happiness - Don't See - I read the reviews and saw where the cast won numerous awards at Sundance and other film festivals but once I put the DVD in and started watching, it failed to deliver. I badly wanted to like this movie. You have Jane Adams when she still resembled someone attractive, opposed to Tanya on Hung and Phillip Seymour Hoffman jerking off while calling a random person in the phone book (Jane Adams). What more could you want? However, if I fall asleep twice in the first hour of your movie, then it probably isn't for me. I ended up turning it off after the second time I dozed off. Unfortunately, the last scene I saw was the pedophile character offering to teach his nine year old son how to masturbate. I wish I had turned it off five minutes earlier.

The Cool School - See - Good not great documentary about a group of modern artists in the LA area during the 50's and 60's. They were the artists who basically created the art scene in LA. If you don't have any interest in art itself then you probably won't care much for the movie. However, if art is a point of interest then it's very engaging. Interviews with the artists' friends, Dennis Hopper and Dean Stockwell, only add to the cool factor. 

The Thin Blue Line - See - This is a very good crime documentary by esteemed documentary film maker Errol Morris.  Morris uses his film to shoot holes in the Dallas Police's case against Randall Adams for the murder of a Dallas area police officer Robert Woods. Morris interviews several material witnesses from Adams trial along with individuals who disputed the credibility of the witnesses. As you watch the movie unfold, you find it hard to believe an investigation could be botched this badly. The graphics and style seem a bit dated now but those are the only issues I have with this movie.

Date Night - Don't See - Two very funny actors making one very unfunny movie. Steve Carell in a bad movie is no surprise. Since becoming famous on The Office, it should be obvious to everyone, he has given up on trying to make a decent movie. Maybe, after he leaves the show next year, he'll start to give a crap again about the type of project he lends his name to. I had much higher hopes for Tina Fey. I though Baby Mama was a decent movie and since she was head writer on SNL, she seemed to still care about the quality of her films. Either she really misjudged this script or the director butchered the writers vision. Regardless, the final result was a less than entertaining movie.

The Staircase - See - I challenge anyone to watch this documentary series originally aired on the Sundance Channel and not change your mind twelve times every episode on whether or not you think Michael Peterson is guilty. By the end I had a pretty good idea of his guilt but had I been on a jury I don't think I could convict beyond a shadow of a doubt. It's amazing the documentary crew was able to begin capturing the story within a couple of weeks of Kathleen Peterson's death. The director Jean-Xavier de Lestrade delivers a tremendous story with so many twists and plot points, you'll find it hard to believe it's all real.

Conspiracy - See - Conspiracy is a HBO movie from 2001. It stars not what I would call an All-Star cast but a cast made up of very good actors, including Kenneth Branaugh, Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci. It tells the story of the Wannsee Conference. This was a secret meeting of Nazi power brokers including Adolf Eichmann, to discuss the final solution to the Jewish question. Eichmann had strictly instructed everyone to destroy their copy of the conference minutes once they had read them. Fortunately, German politician Martin Luther failed to follow these instructions and the only known copy of the conference's minutes were uncovered and another window into Nazi scumbaggery was opened.