Ryan just declared he's going to crush the dreams of two youngins tonight.
55,000 votes sets a new record for this point in a season. OK?
Fantasia. I didn't like her during her season.
This duet thing is a whole hell of a lot better than the traditional terrible group performance. It's almost as if they're trying to make me watch more than 15 minutes of a results show.
Is Jennifer wearing a costume from Black Swan?
Not surprised at all that the country couple Lauren and Scotty are getting through. I'm not the biggest Scotty fan but he has a strong voting base.
Is Scotty's head permanently cocked to the side?
Naima and Jacob doing Ashford and Simpson. Eh not my favorite and not nearly as good as the country couple. Good decision America. Naima deserves to be in the bottom.
I can't stand Fantasia's voice or face so I'm skipping over it. Damn, We can stop the search. I just found where all of Jennifer Hudson's weight went.
Pia, Thia and Haley doing Katy Perry and I mean that exactly as it sounds. OK lets cancel that order Randy put in for Pia and Thia to do uptempo songs. Pia and her from the Kardashian collection outfit is safe. I'm a little confused America seems to be getting it right tonight. That doesn't happen very often. Thia joins Naima in the bottom.
Paul, Casey, James and Stefano doing Band on the Run. Which one of these things doesn't fit? Stefano plays the keys just like Linda McCartney used to, without plugging them in. Casey safe and damn well should be. James is deservedly safe. Neither of the two guys left were very good wouldn't be surprised to see either in the bottom. It's Paul.
My prediction is Paul and Thia going home. I think Naima has a bigger voting base than the other two.
Here we go. Paul is safe. Another week of thin voice and bright teeth.
Thank you America. I didn't think you had it in to you send the correct people home. You've restored my faith in......Nah you're going to have to do the right thing a few more times for me to believe this isn't a coincidence.
To wrap up the duet and smaller group songs were a giant improvement over the usual group torture. The still haven't had a guest singer on that I care for maybe next week. I doubt it though.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Survivor: Redemption Island Recap and Analysis 3/30/2011
“I hope you love Redemption Island as much as I love writing your name down.” -David
Zapatera is a tribe on the fritz. They were at one point very strong, but karma for throwing a challenge is coming back to get them. Ometepe has won 3 of the last 4 challenges and doesn’t seem to be slowing down. David the lawyer is proving to be an antagonist in the camp and it appears that it will be either he or Sarita at the next vote.
Meanwhile, on Redemption Island, Matt ushers in another contestant, Stephanie, to challenge him. Matt is obviously undefeated in duels and I don’t look for him to stop winning now. Stephanie apparently has a mouth that won’t quit, and by the power of God Matt is going to smite her!
Philip doesn’t trust Rob so he’s going to watch the Redemption Island duels with him so he doesn’t pull any funny business. What funny business you ask? How about enlisting numbers from the opposing tribe? Or hiding a hidden immunity idol from your alliance. Philip is right not to trust Rob, but he’s wrong in thinking he can be the one to put a chink in his armor. On the flip side, Rob feels like he has to go with Philip because he has a huge mouth and is “dangerous because of his stupidity.” I agree Rob, you got to keep a lid on that guy.
As Matt and Stephanie approach the arena, Jeff Probst tells us that Matt has spent 12 days on Redemption Island and won 4 duels! My math is shaky but that’s one duel about every three days. Some serious quality alone time is spent between both contestants on that island. I’m not placing this on Matt, but if ever there was a time for two Survivors to get busy, I’d think that would be the time. Anywho, back to the duel! Probst tells Matt and Stephanie they’re playing “memory” for their life. Matt and Stephanie both hit about a 1 in 400 long shot and match a pair sight unseen. Pretty incredible actually. Matt blows his advantage, but gives Stephanie gives it right back. The game becomes simple probability towards the end and not a guessing game, but neither contestant figure that out and Matt wins again! Stephanie cries and David, his sole defender on Zapatera, stirs in his seat. Stephanie goes out with a bit of bang bye enlisting Ralph’s help to take out Sarita and telling Rob Zapatera is gunning for him when the merge happens. Going to the duel proves once again profitable for Rob. He is living a charmed life right now. And with Matt’s latest victory, Philip dubs him samurai-esque. He’s, at the very least, sporting a pretty rad top knot.
After the duel, Philip suggests they withhold the information and Rob is ecstatic. Rob uses that tidbit to turn the tribe fully against Philip. Rob lays out the plan, that if they lose again, he’s the first to go. Notice Rob suggests nothing about throwing a challenge. Why? Because Rob is smart. I say that, and then he comes up with a very not smart phrase in saying that he’ll “frontside Philip.” Sorry Rob. Lost you there. I don’t need an image of you front siding Philip and his pink underwear.
Post duel at Zapatera is a bit of a different feel. Ralph and Dave lie to their tribe mates, saying Stephanie didn’t say much on her way out. Ralph told her he would stick around to take Sarita out, but he’s giving the tribe everything they need to succeed. I still contend that Ralph does one of three things with his hidden immunity idol: 1) Give it away. 2) Get voted out without playing it. or 3) Use it and get no votes cast against him. Long story short, I do not think he’s going to use it well because bluntly, he just isn’t very sharp. Ralph should take Stephanie’s advice and switch the tribe up and put him on top of the numbers. It’s not about keeping a happy tribe, it’s about winning. Speaking of winning, I don’t think David will be doing much of that this game. He’s annoying all of his tribe and me. I wouldn’t mind seeing him go. The only reason why I would mind is because it would be a very predictable vote. Survivor can’t get to the merge soon enough.
After some landscape shots that make me feel like I’m in the live action version of Land Before Time Philip goes on a childish rant that makes me beyond annoyed. He’s a self righteous ass with delusions of grandeur and a bizarre sense self entitlement. He has officially worn out his Survivor welcome in my eyes. Philip reminds me a lot of Sue Sylvester on Glee. Yeah, some of his rants are funny, but he’s largely out of place and insufferable. An Ometepe loss would be welcome and liberating as it would spell the end of Philip’s tenure on Survivor.
The immunity challenge is very physical in nature. This is a chance for Sarita to prove her physical worth. I also like that both tribes are even so we get to see every member participate. I look for Grant to make a huge impact on this challenge. Jeff forgets to mention the reward and the survivors react to hearing about food like they haven’t seen it since they last had it for a reward a few days ago. Apparently Natalie isn’t a drinker? Ok. Glad we now know that. This challenge is full of mud and that always provides for good title sequence shots. The challenge is quite exhausting as the lead fluctuates back and forth, but Grant pulls out a last second shot that seals the win for Ometepe. This was easily the most exciting immunity challenge yet. No one particular individual, aside from maybe Philip, held their team back. It was neck and neck from beginning to end, but Grant, once again is the difference in the game. Ometepe wins and Philip lives to see a few more days.
The helicopter ride that Ometepe takes is actually pretty breathtaking. They land in an active volcano and crush a picnic. Philip feels like a member of the tribe and Rob finds yet another hidden immunity idol clue that he doesn’t even need. I think my favorite part of this exchange is seeing Rob have to fake how delicious the biscotti is. “Oh man, all this other great meat, candy, and beer, but you have to try this! SOOO GOOD!” Then Rob tosses the clue in the volcano, like you would.
The music switches to dismal, so we must be at Zapatera’s camp. Hey look! There’s my pick to win, Mike the Marine, talking about how bad it sucks to lose. No one is positive on this tribe, except for Ralph. Zapatera will fizzle out in the merge unless they can convince both Philip and the Redemption Island winner to join in there cause. The vote looks to be between David and Sarita. Surprise surprise. Another predictable vote where I don’t care about the outcome. The only thing of note in the tribal council is that David is a way better arguer than Sarita. I mean, that should be clear because he’s a lawyer. Oh, and naturally Ralph doesn’t know what the word “cohesive” means.
Sarita is voted out at tribal council and realizes she didn’t bring her stuff. David with the dagger trash talk retorts, “Don’t get too confident.” Looks like we know where the next Zapatera vote is going.
Final Thoughts: Survivor needs the merge to come soon! All the votes are becoming predictable and the show is lacking the drama that it had at the beginning. If Ometepe loses, Philip is out. If Zapatera loses, David gets the axe. Ometepe is proving to be dominant and their success will lie in their ability to either retain Philip at the merge or enlist the Redemption Island castaway. I think they’d only need to get on of those two wild cards to run the game if they stick to their numbers.
My Pick to Win: Mike the Marine (though Grant is still my fashionable number 2.)
Zapatera is a tribe on the fritz. They were at one point very strong, but karma for throwing a challenge is coming back to get them. Ometepe has won 3 of the last 4 challenges and doesn’t seem to be slowing down. David the lawyer is proving to be an antagonist in the camp and it appears that it will be either he or Sarita at the next vote.
Meanwhile, on Redemption Island, Matt ushers in another contestant, Stephanie, to challenge him. Matt is obviously undefeated in duels and I don’t look for him to stop winning now. Stephanie apparently has a mouth that won’t quit, and by the power of God Matt is going to smite her!
Philip doesn’t trust Rob so he’s going to watch the Redemption Island duels with him so he doesn’t pull any funny business. What funny business you ask? How about enlisting numbers from the opposing tribe? Or hiding a hidden immunity idol from your alliance. Philip is right not to trust Rob, but he’s wrong in thinking he can be the one to put a chink in his armor. On the flip side, Rob feels like he has to go with Philip because he has a huge mouth and is “dangerous because of his stupidity.” I agree Rob, you got to keep a lid on that guy.
As Matt and Stephanie approach the arena, Jeff Probst tells us that Matt has spent 12 days on Redemption Island and won 4 duels! My math is shaky but that’s one duel about every three days. Some serious quality alone time is spent between both contestants on that island. I’m not placing this on Matt, but if ever there was a time for two Survivors to get busy, I’d think that would be the time. Anywho, back to the duel! Probst tells Matt and Stephanie they’re playing “memory” for their life. Matt and Stephanie both hit about a 1 in 400 long shot and match a pair sight unseen. Pretty incredible actually. Matt blows his advantage, but gives Stephanie gives it right back. The game becomes simple probability towards the end and not a guessing game, but neither contestant figure that out and Matt wins again! Stephanie cries and David, his sole defender on Zapatera, stirs in his seat. Stephanie goes out with a bit of bang bye enlisting Ralph’s help to take out Sarita and telling Rob Zapatera is gunning for him when the merge happens. Going to the duel proves once again profitable for Rob. He is living a charmed life right now. And with Matt’s latest victory, Philip dubs him samurai-esque. He’s, at the very least, sporting a pretty rad top knot.
After the duel, Philip suggests they withhold the information and Rob is ecstatic. Rob uses that tidbit to turn the tribe fully against Philip. Rob lays out the plan, that if they lose again, he’s the first to go. Notice Rob suggests nothing about throwing a challenge. Why? Because Rob is smart. I say that, and then he comes up with a very not smart phrase in saying that he’ll “frontside Philip.” Sorry Rob. Lost you there. I don’t need an image of you front siding Philip and his pink underwear.
Post duel at Zapatera is a bit of a different feel. Ralph and Dave lie to their tribe mates, saying Stephanie didn’t say much on her way out. Ralph told her he would stick around to take Sarita out, but he’s giving the tribe everything they need to succeed. I still contend that Ralph does one of three things with his hidden immunity idol: 1) Give it away. 2) Get voted out without playing it. or 3) Use it and get no votes cast against him. Long story short, I do not think he’s going to use it well because bluntly, he just isn’t very sharp. Ralph should take Stephanie’s advice and switch the tribe up and put him on top of the numbers. It’s not about keeping a happy tribe, it’s about winning. Speaking of winning, I don’t think David will be doing much of that this game. He’s annoying all of his tribe and me. I wouldn’t mind seeing him go. The only reason why I would mind is because it would be a very predictable vote. Survivor can’t get to the merge soon enough.
After some landscape shots that make me feel like I’m in the live action version of Land Before Time Philip goes on a childish rant that makes me beyond annoyed. He’s a self righteous ass with delusions of grandeur and a bizarre sense self entitlement. He has officially worn out his Survivor welcome in my eyes. Philip reminds me a lot of Sue Sylvester on Glee. Yeah, some of his rants are funny, but he’s largely out of place and insufferable. An Ometepe loss would be welcome and liberating as it would spell the end of Philip’s tenure on Survivor.
The immunity challenge is very physical in nature. This is a chance for Sarita to prove her physical worth. I also like that both tribes are even so we get to see every member participate. I look for Grant to make a huge impact on this challenge. Jeff forgets to mention the reward and the survivors react to hearing about food like they haven’t seen it since they last had it for a reward a few days ago. Apparently Natalie isn’t a drinker? Ok. Glad we now know that. This challenge is full of mud and that always provides for good title sequence shots. The challenge is quite exhausting as the lead fluctuates back and forth, but Grant pulls out a last second shot that seals the win for Ometepe. This was easily the most exciting immunity challenge yet. No one particular individual, aside from maybe Philip, held their team back. It was neck and neck from beginning to end, but Grant, once again is the difference in the game. Ometepe wins and Philip lives to see a few more days.
The helicopter ride that Ometepe takes is actually pretty breathtaking. They land in an active volcano and crush a picnic. Philip feels like a member of the tribe and Rob finds yet another hidden immunity idol clue that he doesn’t even need. I think my favorite part of this exchange is seeing Rob have to fake how delicious the biscotti is. “Oh man, all this other great meat, candy, and beer, but you have to try this! SOOO GOOD!” Then Rob tosses the clue in the volcano, like you would.
The music switches to dismal, so we must be at Zapatera’s camp. Hey look! There’s my pick to win, Mike the Marine, talking about how bad it sucks to lose. No one is positive on this tribe, except for Ralph. Zapatera will fizzle out in the merge unless they can convince both Philip and the Redemption Island winner to join in there cause. The vote looks to be between David and Sarita. Surprise surprise. Another predictable vote where I don’t care about the outcome. The only thing of note in the tribal council is that David is a way better arguer than Sarita. I mean, that should be clear because he’s a lawyer. Oh, and naturally Ralph doesn’t know what the word “cohesive” means.
Sarita is voted out at tribal council and realizes she didn’t bring her stuff. David with the dagger trash talk retorts, “Don’t get too confident.” Looks like we know where the next Zapatera vote is going.
Final Thoughts: Survivor needs the merge to come soon! All the votes are becoming predictable and the show is lacking the drama that it had at the beginning. If Ometepe loses, Philip is out. If Zapatera loses, David gets the axe. Ometepe is proving to be dominant and their success will lie in their ability to either retain Philip at the merge or enlist the Redemption Island castaway. I think they’d only need to get on of those two wild cards to run the game if they stick to their numbers.
My Pick to Win: Mike the Marine (though Grant is still my fashionable number 2.)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
American Idol Top 11 Compete Again - 3/30/11
I'm already deducting points from this performance show because Randy's not wearing a cardigan.
Ryan do you think people are still buzzing about last week because you keep talking about last week?
Holy Shit Haley just went complete spazz.
I love Elton John but this could be brutal for some of these contestants.
Time to fast forward through fashion photo shoot piece. If you don't have enough material to fill 2 hours then cut it down to 90 minutes. Please.
I'm predicting Scotty will sound exactly like he hast every other week. The verses are the same terrible country crash test dummies impersonation we hear every week but I thought the chorus was real nice. I just need more steel guitar.
Jennifer just recited a Paula Abdul speech from 2005.
Great Naima is up. Maybe they'll follow it up with a trailer for Arthur and bring home the suck trifecta. If you're not doing an Elton John song before 1977 then you're screwing yourself. Reggae songs should only be about smoking dope and fighting the man. This doesn't qualify and her bad faux reggae accent, whoa. I'm not mad though. I've been pulling for her ouster since the wild card round.
Note to contestants: if Jennifer starts with "I love you" or Randy "Dawg I like you" they thought you sucked.
Paul broke out the Nudie suit again tonight so that's a point in his favor. He giving the opposite performance that Scotty did nice on the verse poor on chorus. He doesn't have enough power in his voice to pull off Rocket Man. He would have been better with off with something like Your Song. Rod Stewart had an unplugged hit with it so it should be in his wheelhouse.
Paul is the only person on earth who can make Ryan look like he needs to hit the teeth whitening clinic.
Pia fills out a dress and she sings ballads. That sunset background is by far the cheesiest moment on AI this season. Sounds good but again boring. This reminded me of the Christian concerts I went to back in the 80's.
Here's how you know Jennifer is a natural beauty. She's in her 40's now and doesn't have old lady hands.
I can't watch the setup for Stefano. His cheeseball factor is off the charts. See Elton was a rocker who could belt out a ballad. When these balladeers try to do these songs they just make them too corny. This guy isn't long for this competition.
Howie Mandel. Why?
Lauren looks like a deer in the headlights tonight. She's a complete mess on stage. Country girl curls. Evening dress. She seems uncomfortable on stage, in the dress but her voice is carrying her through tonight.
Just for the record, Randy is wrong. Steven is telling old man jokes. Jennifer is wrong too. Lauren can sing but she may be dumber than a bag of bricks.
I phased out the nicknames last week but I can't get past how much James looks and acts like a monkey. Him being a WWE fan is perfect. I don't care for the kid much but he's had the best performance by far tonight. Here's my honest opinion on James. He's very immature as a performer. If he had a couple of years on the road he would probably mature into a pretty entertaining stage presence. Right now he performs like a teenage boy having sex. He can't believe he's actually there doing it so he rushes to the end without bringing us to satisfaction.
OK if Pia is boring then I'm going to need a different word for Thia. Dull, bland, banal, insipid any of those will work. She'd be in my bottom 3.
Thank God Casey didn't listen to that bozo and shave off the beard. Your Song is an interesting choice here. I guess he felt like he needed to tone it down to get back in the voting graces of America. He's killing it in a very understated way. Now that was the best performance of the night. If America sends him home again this week then the terrorists have truly won.
One of the only times Randy has been spot on tonight. I'm glad Casey didn't die on stage last week.
Based on the other reviews I've read, I'm one of the only Jacob fans. Screw Jimmy. I like the drama in Jacob's performances. Every great R&B artist has that over dramatic aspect to their persona. The guy knocks it out for me each week. My second favorite performance.
I think I would like this performance by Haley a lot more if I had just listened to it and not watched it. She sounded great but I can't watch her. Her stage performance was uncomfortable at best. BTW the girl needs to cut her hair.
I'm moderately surprised by the overall quality of tonight's performances.
If I were to vote my top 3 would be
1. Casey
2. Jacob
3. James
My bottom 3 would be
1. Thia
2. Naima
3. Paul
I think Thia and Naima deserve to go home but there are 5 contestants I think should be vulnerable tonight the 3 I mentioned plus Scotty and Stefano
Ryan do you think people are still buzzing about last week because you keep talking about last week?
Holy Shit Haley just went complete spazz.
I love Elton John but this could be brutal for some of these contestants.
Time to fast forward through fashion photo shoot piece. If you don't have enough material to fill 2 hours then cut it down to 90 minutes. Please.
I'm predicting Scotty will sound exactly like he hast every other week. The verses are the same terrible country crash test dummies impersonation we hear every week but I thought the chorus was real nice. I just need more steel guitar.
Jennifer just recited a Paula Abdul speech from 2005.
Great Naima is up. Maybe they'll follow it up with a trailer for Arthur and bring home the suck trifecta. If you're not doing an Elton John song before 1977 then you're screwing yourself. Reggae songs should only be about smoking dope and fighting the man. This doesn't qualify and her bad faux reggae accent, whoa. I'm not mad though. I've been pulling for her ouster since the wild card round.
Note to contestants: if Jennifer starts with "I love you" or Randy "Dawg I like you" they thought you sucked.
Paul broke out the Nudie suit again tonight so that's a point in his favor. He giving the opposite performance that Scotty did nice on the verse poor on chorus. He doesn't have enough power in his voice to pull off Rocket Man. He would have been better with off with something like Your Song. Rod Stewart had an unplugged hit with it so it should be in his wheelhouse.
Paul is the only person on earth who can make Ryan look like he needs to hit the teeth whitening clinic.
Pia fills out a dress and she sings ballads. That sunset background is by far the cheesiest moment on AI this season. Sounds good but again boring. This reminded me of the Christian concerts I went to back in the 80's.
Here's how you know Jennifer is a natural beauty. She's in her 40's now and doesn't have old lady hands.
I can't watch the setup for Stefano. His cheeseball factor is off the charts. See Elton was a rocker who could belt out a ballad. When these balladeers try to do these songs they just make them too corny. This guy isn't long for this competition.
Howie Mandel. Why?
Lauren looks like a deer in the headlights tonight. She's a complete mess on stage. Country girl curls. Evening dress. She seems uncomfortable on stage, in the dress but her voice is carrying her through tonight.
Just for the record, Randy is wrong. Steven is telling old man jokes. Jennifer is wrong too. Lauren can sing but she may be dumber than a bag of bricks.
I phased out the nicknames last week but I can't get past how much James looks and acts like a monkey. Him being a WWE fan is perfect. I don't care for the kid much but he's had the best performance by far tonight. Here's my honest opinion on James. He's very immature as a performer. If he had a couple of years on the road he would probably mature into a pretty entertaining stage presence. Right now he performs like a teenage boy having sex. He can't believe he's actually there doing it so he rushes to the end without bringing us to satisfaction.
OK if Pia is boring then I'm going to need a different word for Thia. Dull, bland, banal, insipid any of those will work. She'd be in my bottom 3.
Thank God Casey didn't listen to that bozo and shave off the beard. Your Song is an interesting choice here. I guess he felt like he needed to tone it down to get back in the voting graces of America. He's killing it in a very understated way. Now that was the best performance of the night. If America sends him home again this week then the terrorists have truly won.
One of the only times Randy has been spot on tonight. I'm glad Casey didn't die on stage last week.
Based on the other reviews I've read, I'm one of the only Jacob fans. Screw Jimmy. I like the drama in Jacob's performances. Every great R&B artist has that over dramatic aspect to their persona. The guy knocks it out for me each week. My second favorite performance.
I think I would like this performance by Haley a lot more if I had just listened to it and not watched it. She sounded great but I can't watch her. Her stage performance was uncomfortable at best. BTW the girl needs to cut her hair.
I'm moderately surprised by the overall quality of tonight's performances.
If I were to vote my top 3 would be
1. Casey
2. Jacob
3. James
My bottom 3 would be
1. Thia
2. Naima
3. Paul
I think Thia and Naima deserve to go home but there are 5 contestants I think should be vulnerable tonight the 3 I mentioned plus Scotty and Stefano
ApeDonkey Power Rankings 3/29/11
Top 5
1. Houston - This is a big week here in Houston. The Final Four is coming along with all the attractions and events attached to it, as is the Shell Houston Open. The weather has been great here all week and should hold up through the weekend. Now don't go looking for me at any of the events around town because the only thing I like less than people is crowds of people. So I encourage everyone to get here spend your money and leave my city in one piece. We may never get another Super Bowl but the Final Four will be back in 5 years. See you then.
2. El Real - The only positive to getting the Power Rankings out so late is that I'm able to include El Real on the list. We've been waiting for this place to open for months. I was hoping to check it out when Southbound Food did their live broadcast from there a couple weeks ago but I left San Antonio too late and was unable to make it. We decided to wait until they started serving lunch so we could go at an off hour. That's always best with young kids. We finally made it over today and the food was a great as advertised. I went basic with cheese enchiladas, queso, rice and beans. The wife had the fajitas that came with a cup of this frothy garlic butter that I could have drank by the glassful. If you're a margarita person definitely get it on the rocks. It's simple, strong and delicious. Minus the two customers who were obviously pissed that I had procreated, it was a great experience.
3. John Harris - It was announced last week that John Harris will be getting his own national show working the overnight 1am - 5am central on Sporting New Radio. I've listened to Johnny since his days as the college football expert all the way through to his show with Raheel. By the way, I was completely wrong about the pairing of John and Harris. They've consistently produced a fun, entertaining show following John and Lance on 1560 The Game. I fully expect Raheel to continue killing it from 10-12p with a rotating list of guest hosts including David Nuno and Richard Justice.
Now back to John and his new show. Barry and I discussed this and thought this was a great move for John. His encyclopedic sports knowledge plays perfectly with the late night national caller. No one is better equipped to take calls about teams coast to coast and be able to talk intelligently about the entire roster. Johnny going national feels like a kid from the old neighborhood making it. He's made so in a sense we've all made it. I wish him all the best and any time I'm up at that hour, I'll be sure to check him out.
4. Shameless - Thank God for Shameless. Of the shows that had season finales the past couple of weeks, Shameless, Californication and Big Love, Shameless was the only one that gave us an excellent satisfying finale. After a little bit of a shaky start, Shameless has come on to be my second favorite new show of the year just behind Terriers and ahead of Rubicon. Of course, it's the only one of those three to get picked up for a second season. William H. Macy was the name going in to the season but Emmy Rossum has been the breakout star. She's given us a powerhouse performance as Fiona, a young woman just trying to keep her family together and raise her five brothers and sisters. It's really been an outstanding first season with strong performances from all the Gallagher kids. If you haven't checked it out try to catch up before season 2 starts next year.
5. Birthday Party - We celebrated my son's 2nd birthday this past weekend and if you weren't part of my immediate family, you weren't invited. That's because I'm a good human being and I know no one wants to be bothered with a kids birthday especially on a big sports weekend. The 2nd birthday is the one time you can get away with a simple "party" like this. Birthday number 2 lacks the milestone factor of the first birthday and the kid still doesn't know what the hell is going on. By the 3rd birthday they are starting to get it and from 4 on you're screwed. Just open up the pocket book and kiss your weekends goodbye because you'll be going to a birthday party every weekend for the next ten years. So happy birthday Cash. I hope you enjoyed your Barry's Pizza and cupcake and we'll do it again next year.
Bottom 5
1. Fucking Thieves - If you follow me on twitter and why wouldn't you be then you probably already know about my truck being broken in to and having my ipod and macbook stolen. My wife and I talked about this and considering all the vital information we had on the laptop like our businesses accounting, art files, tax information, etc. We would have rather they taken the truck and left the computer. Luckily, we do an off site backup for critical client files but what we are learning is that Carbonite apparently is running their servers with 28800 dial up modems. Here we are five days in and we are still restoring files to our new laptop. I could have manually transcribed the missing files by now.
Now let me tell you about the top notch security in the shopping center where Grand Luxe and Nordstrom's Rack is locate. First, when we realized what had happened, my wife had to literally chase the sixty-something year old security guard around the parking lot before I was finally able to get his attention by repeatedly honking at him. Once we had his attention and told him what had happened his reaction was priceless "really? I've been patrolling the area." Uh, yeah sure you were. He tried to write a report but couldn't find a pen among the hundreds of old lollipop wrappers in his very intimidating golf cart. In the end we'll be alright. Home owner's insurance covers items taken from your car in this kind of situation but I could live without the pain and headache of it all and if the person who did it ends up in a burn unit soon, then all the better.
2. Mad Men - Great news coming out of Hollywood this week is that Mad Men season 5 is a go. The bad news is that we won't get to see it until sometime in 2012. The Sopranos think that's a long lay off. Part of the deal to bring the show back for a fifth season is AMC asking for the producers to cut two minutes from the show to open up more ad time and/or cut two regular characters from the cast. I'm fine with either or both of those options. Go ahead and take Betty or Bert or Ken. I can live without any of them. Bert makes the list because I can't stand people who don't wear shoes at work. If you need to cut a couple of minutes, I say go for it. I don't watch commercials anyway so no skin off my back. Just get your shit together and get Mad Men back on the air. Preferably before my kids graduate high school.
3. President Trump - The most shocking thing I heard more than one time this past week is "I'd vote for Donald Trump if he ran for President." The first time I heard this I stopped in mid conversation to verify what I'd just heard. People apparently think he'd have a good shot to fix the economy which that may be true, I don't know. I did remind them that he's gone bankrupt a couple of times but people do learn from mistakes. My biggest issue is that these people are forgetting one important issue. Donald Trump is a buffoon. This is the guy who hosts Celebrity Apprentice. Do you understand the national embarrassment of having state dinners at the gold leafed white house? Air Force One would be renamed The #1 Air Force One. I haven't even mentioned the hair. That is not presidential hair. You have to go all the way back to the early 1800's and Andrew Jackson to find a coif as crazy and unpresidential as Trump's.
4. Movie Reboots - I was reading an article yesterday that after The Dark Knight Rises they are planning to reboot the Batman series. What? I'm not a fan of all the series rebooting or the term rebooting. Teen Wolf as a Twilightesque show on MTV? The Karate Kid learning Kung Fu from Jackie Chan? Completely recasting and starting over with XMen? Ugh here's how a series is supposed to naturally progress. The first one is great and ground breaking. The second isn't quite as good but you add more villains to make up for the quality and by the fourth and fifth installments you've brought in Joel Schumacher to drive it into the ground. That is the life cycle of a movie franchise. It's tried and true and should not be messed with.
5. Elite Eight - Saturday Nicole Zierlein wrote a very touching blog post about her husband and young sons watching the elite eight games and specifically the Butler game together. I highly recommend you read it. If I wasn't a soulless robot, I probably would have been brought to tears. I on the other hand had a much different experience with Saturday's games. I had a little wager on Florida to beat Butler so I was intently watching that game. With a few minutes left, my wife who couldn't give a crap about basketball and is an incurable workaholic didn't know what to do with herself since she was without her laptop and couldn't work. After she complained of being bored and wanting to go out I finally agreed to go when the game ended. Little did I know the game would head to overtime. Being a man of my word though I said we could leave and I'd listen to overtime in the car. Well that was the plan. From the minute we closed the doors on the car my kid decided to be the loudest most irritating human on the planet. She channeled Lloyd Christmas and sang the words "Wipey, Dipey, Dipey" over and over again for a solid half hour until we finally reached the restaurant. After a nice dinner, the wife wanted to return some pants to The Gap and get a different pair. I was fine with that plan. The Gap was in the same parking lot and she rarely takes a long time doing stuff like that. We were in the store maybe 5 minutes when the 2 year old was going so apeshit crazy I decided I'd take him to the car and listen to the Arizona/UConn game while the girls finished up. I don't know exactly how long they were in the store but I ended listening to nearly the entire spectacular second half of the Zona/UConn game in the car with an exhausted, screaming 2 year old. Come to find out, my 6 year old had recently earned $20 from her grandmother and decided she wanted to buy herself something at Gap Kids. The problem is the self proclaimed fashionista had to actually touch, try on and examine every item in the store. And what did she finally emerge from the store with? A fucking pair of sunglasses. That's how I spent an outstanding Saturday of college basketball.
2. El Real - The only positive to getting the Power Rankings out so late is that I'm able to include El Real on the list. We've been waiting for this place to open for months. I was hoping to check it out when Southbound Food did their live broadcast from there a couple weeks ago but I left San Antonio too late and was unable to make it. We decided to wait until they started serving lunch so we could go at an off hour. That's always best with young kids. We finally made it over today and the food was a great as advertised. I went basic with cheese enchiladas, queso, rice and beans. The wife had the fajitas that came with a cup of this frothy garlic butter that I could have drank by the glassful. If you're a margarita person definitely get it on the rocks. It's simple, strong and delicious. Minus the two customers who were obviously pissed that I had procreated, it was a great experience. 3. John Harris - It was announced last week that John Harris will be getting his own national show working the overnight 1am - 5am central on Sporting New Radio. I've listened to Johnny since his days as the college football expert all the way through to his show with Raheel. By the way, I was completely wrong about the pairing of John and Harris. They've consistently produced a fun, entertaining show following John and Lance on 1560 The Game. I fully expect Raheel to continue killing it from 10-12p with a rotating list of guest hosts including David Nuno and Richard Justice.Now back to John and his new show. Barry and I discussed this and thought this was a great move for John. His encyclopedic sports knowledge plays perfectly with the late night national caller. No one is better equipped to take calls about teams coast to coast and be able to talk intelligently about the entire roster. Johnny going national feels like a kid from the old neighborhood making it. He's made so in a sense we've all made it. I wish him all the best and any time I'm up at that hour, I'll be sure to check him out.
4. Shameless - Thank God for Shameless. Of the shows that had season finales the past couple of weeks, Shameless, Californication and Big Love, Shameless was the only one that gave us an excellent satisfying finale. After a little bit of a shaky start, Shameless has come on to be my second favorite new show of the year just behind Terriers and ahead of Rubicon. Of course, it's the only one of those three to get picked up for a second season. William H. Macy was the name going in to the season but Emmy Rossum has been the breakout star. She's given us a powerhouse performance as Fiona, a young woman just trying to keep her family together and raise her five brothers and sisters. It's really been an outstanding first season with strong performances from all the Gallagher kids. If you haven't checked it out try to catch up before season 2 starts next year.5. Birthday Party - We celebrated my son's 2nd birthday this past weekend and if you weren't part of my immediate family, you weren't invited. That's because I'm a good human being and I know no one wants to be bothered with a kids birthday especially on a big sports weekend. The 2nd birthday is the one time you can get away with a simple "party" like this. Birthday number 2 lacks the milestone factor of the first birthday and the kid still doesn't know what the hell is going on. By the 3rd birthday they are starting to get it and from 4 on you're screwed. Just open up the pocket book and kiss your weekends goodbye because you'll be going to a birthday party every weekend for the next ten years. So happy birthday Cash. I hope you enjoyed your Barry's Pizza and cupcake and we'll do it again next year.
Bottom 5
1. Fucking Thieves - If you follow me on twitter and why wouldn't you be then you probably already know about my truck being broken in to and having my ipod and macbook stolen. My wife and I talked about this and considering all the vital information we had on the laptop like our businesses accounting, art files, tax information, etc. We would have rather they taken the truck and left the computer. Luckily, we do an off site backup for critical client files but what we are learning is that Carbonite apparently is running their servers with 28800 dial up modems. Here we are five days in and we are still restoring files to our new laptop. I could have manually transcribed the missing files by now.Now let me tell you about the top notch security in the shopping center where Grand Luxe and Nordstrom's Rack is locate. First, when we realized what had happened, my wife had to literally chase the sixty-something year old security guard around the parking lot before I was finally able to get his attention by repeatedly honking at him. Once we had his attention and told him what had happened his reaction was priceless "really? I've been patrolling the area." Uh, yeah sure you were. He tried to write a report but couldn't find a pen among the hundreds of old lollipop wrappers in his very intimidating golf cart. In the end we'll be alright. Home owner's insurance covers items taken from your car in this kind of situation but I could live without the pain and headache of it all and if the person who did it ends up in a burn unit soon, then all the better.
3. President Trump - The most shocking thing I heard more than one time this past week is "I'd vote for Donald Trump if he ran for President." The first time I heard this I stopped in mid conversation to verify what I'd just heard. People apparently think he'd have a good shot to fix the economy which that may be true, I don't know. I did remind them that he's gone bankrupt a couple of times but people do learn from mistakes. My biggest issue is that these people are forgetting one important issue. Donald Trump is a buffoon. This is the guy who hosts Celebrity Apprentice. Do you understand the national embarrassment of having state dinners at the gold leafed white house? Air Force One would be renamed The #1 Air Force One. I haven't even mentioned the hair. That is not presidential hair. You have to go all the way back to the early 1800's and Andrew Jackson to find a coif as crazy and unpresidential as Trump's. 
4. Movie Reboots - I was reading an article yesterday that after The Dark Knight Rises they are planning to reboot the Batman series. What? I'm not a fan of all the series rebooting or the term rebooting. Teen Wolf as a Twilightesque show on MTV? The Karate Kid learning Kung Fu from Jackie Chan? Completely recasting and starting over with XMen? Ugh here's how a series is supposed to naturally progress. The first one is great and ground breaking. The second isn't quite as good but you add more villains to make up for the quality and by the fourth and fifth installments you've brought in Joel Schumacher to drive it into the ground. That is the life cycle of a movie franchise. It's tried and true and should not be messed with.5. Elite Eight - Saturday Nicole Zierlein wrote a very touching blog post about her husband and young sons watching the elite eight games and specifically the Butler game together. I highly recommend you read it. If I wasn't a soulless robot, I probably would have been brought to tears. I on the other hand had a much different experience with Saturday's games. I had a little wager on Florida to beat Butler so I was intently watching that game. With a few minutes left, my wife who couldn't give a crap about basketball and is an incurable workaholic didn't know what to do with herself since she was without her laptop and couldn't work. After she complained of being bored and wanting to go out I finally agreed to go when the game ended. Little did I know the game would head to overtime. Being a man of my word though I said we could leave and I'd listen to overtime in the car. Well that was the plan. From the minute we closed the doors on the car my kid decided to be the loudest most irritating human on the planet. She channeled Lloyd Christmas and sang the words "Wipey, Dipey, Dipey" over and over again for a solid half hour until we finally reached the restaurant. After a nice dinner, the wife wanted to return some pants to The Gap and get a different pair. I was fine with that plan. The Gap was in the same parking lot and she rarely takes a long time doing stuff like that. We were in the store maybe 5 minutes when the 2 year old was going so apeshit crazy I decided I'd take him to the car and listen to the Arizona/UConn game while the girls finished up. I don't know exactly how long they were in the store but I ended listening to nearly the entire spectacular second half of the Zona/UConn game in the car with an exhausted, screaming 2 year old. Come to find out, my 6 year old had recently earned $20 from her grandmother and decided she wanted to buy herself something at Gap Kids. The problem is the self proclaimed fashionista had to actually touch, try on and examine every item in the store. And what did she finally emerge from the store with? A fucking pair of sunglasses. That's how I spent an outstanding Saturday of college basketball.
Lights Out - "Sucker Punch" Review
“It’s my belt. No one’s going to stop me from getting it back.” -Patrick
With now only one episode left in the entire series of Lights Out, it’s hard to judge the episodes as ones that are leading to a season or series finale. If this season was meant to be a 13 episode arc that was going to have complete closure, I’d say it’s a bit uneven and isn’t really hitting on all cylinders as it approaches its finale. But that’s unfair to the show. Lights Out was meant to be more than just one season, so it makes sense that everything isn’t being fully expounded on. This is not to say this episode would have been a great penultimate episode if I knew there’d be a season two. Far from it. But it is difficult to truly asses the effect of the episode on me. When it comes to Lights Out, what do we actually find compelling about this show? The boxing drama is the keystone of the series and sometimes I feel it loses sight of that. That’s why the Ed Romeo episodes and the Morales fight were some of the best. It was able to combine the other elements of Patrick’s life while building toward a fight. This may also be why the Brennan and Word stories are so strong as well. It revolves around the boxing world.
So based upon what I feel is the strong point of the show, you can see where I didn’t really enjoy this past episode where we finally get to meet Patrick’s mother. We’ve been needing that story line all along. However I feel it may be too little too late. Just what can we get from this relationship at this point? The mother arriving is most effecting papa lights. Robert has been such a strong individual throughout the series, that it’s a little heartbreaking seeing him sacrifice his fortitude to bend to the whims of the capricious sycophant. The mother seems forced. It’s just another obstacle that delays the fight between Lights and Death Row. She’s detestable, but not because of what she’s doing, but because of just how out of place she is. This story line in particular is one I feel like could have had more of an impact if there was more time for the series to develop. But given the brevity of the series, anything short of the boxing world and its politics, seems out of place.
Barry K Word is still the most compelling part of the show. He has an electricity on screen that is unmatched by anyone on the series. The politics of the boxing world is what I like. I would have very much enjoyed learning more about the gambling side of the sport and the danger of fixing a fight. The drive by on Margaret raised the stakes for a second, but it will be swept under the rug on the finale because we need to focus on the fight. I know by just focusing on the boxing element makes Lights Out a typical boxing drama, but maybe not. FX has made it clear they didn’t want to do just another Rocky knock off. They needed something else to separate it. I think the Barry K Word/Hal Brennan angle was enough. Throw in just enough family to show how they’re broke and here we have the show. But now it just seems like the show is cycling in one guest star after another. There’s just a lack of cohesion. It’s still high quality drama, but it just needed time to figure itself out. The stakes never really felt high enough. I don’t see the need for Patrick to win. He was originally in the fight for the money, but now money doesn’t seem to be the issue so his drive and desire to win needs to be the overwhelming force in the show, and it just isn’t quite there. Lights Out is a good show, not a great show. I’m sad it doesn’t get a second season because I feel like it could really find itself. But alas, we have but one more episode and hopefully the finale really delivers some closure.
With now only one episode left in the entire series of Lights Out, it’s hard to judge the episodes as ones that are leading to a season or series finale. If this season was meant to be a 13 episode arc that was going to have complete closure, I’d say it’s a bit uneven and isn’t really hitting on all cylinders as it approaches its finale. But that’s unfair to the show. Lights Out was meant to be more than just one season, so it makes sense that everything isn’t being fully expounded on. This is not to say this episode would have been a great penultimate episode if I knew there’d be a season two. Far from it. But it is difficult to truly asses the effect of the episode on me. When it comes to Lights Out, what do we actually find compelling about this show? The boxing drama is the keystone of the series and sometimes I feel it loses sight of that. That’s why the Ed Romeo episodes and the Morales fight were some of the best. It was able to combine the other elements of Patrick’s life while building toward a fight. This may also be why the Brennan and Word stories are so strong as well. It revolves around the boxing world.
So based upon what I feel is the strong point of the show, you can see where I didn’t really enjoy this past episode where we finally get to meet Patrick’s mother. We’ve been needing that story line all along. However I feel it may be too little too late. Just what can we get from this relationship at this point? The mother arriving is most effecting papa lights. Robert has been such a strong individual throughout the series, that it’s a little heartbreaking seeing him sacrifice his fortitude to bend to the whims of the capricious sycophant. The mother seems forced. It’s just another obstacle that delays the fight between Lights and Death Row. She’s detestable, but not because of what she’s doing, but because of just how out of place she is. This story line in particular is one I feel like could have had more of an impact if there was more time for the series to develop. But given the brevity of the series, anything short of the boxing world and its politics, seems out of place.
Barry K Word is still the most compelling part of the show. He has an electricity on screen that is unmatched by anyone on the series. The politics of the boxing world is what I like. I would have very much enjoyed learning more about the gambling side of the sport and the danger of fixing a fight. The drive by on Margaret raised the stakes for a second, but it will be swept under the rug on the finale because we need to focus on the fight. I know by just focusing on the boxing element makes Lights Out a typical boxing drama, but maybe not. FX has made it clear they didn’t want to do just another Rocky knock off. They needed something else to separate it. I think the Barry K Word/Hal Brennan angle was enough. Throw in just enough family to show how they’re broke and here we have the show. But now it just seems like the show is cycling in one guest star after another. There’s just a lack of cohesion. It’s still high quality drama, but it just needed time to figure itself out. The stakes never really felt high enough. I don’t see the need for Patrick to win. He was originally in the fight for the money, but now money doesn’t seem to be the issue so his drive and desire to win needs to be the overwhelming force in the show, and it just isn’t quite there. Lights Out is a good show, not a great show. I’m sad it doesn’t get a second season because I feel like it could really find itself. But alas, we have but one more episode and hopefully the finale really delivers some closure.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Shameless - "Father Frank, Full of Grace" Review
“Life’s messy. People have secrets.” -Fiona
Shameless wrapped up its first season yesterday with a wonderfully heartbreaking season finale. So much of the talk about Shameless was people being upset with the Gallagher’s and how they choose to live. If the Gallagher’s don’t care about their own lives, why should I? I think that some people had a hard time grasping the notion that not every person has a desire to “move up” in life. Remember that Shameless is a British show originally and across the pond the notion of the lower middle class sticking its nose at the upper class elite is a long standing tradition. The idea of the American Dream is still present in the United States however. People want to make enough money to be comfortable, to be rich. Not many are ok with the idea of not knowing how they’re going to play rent next month. This is why the Gallagher family is so polarizing in the public’s eyes. Here we have a family that is, at the center of it all, happy. Sure they have a myriad of problems and a lot of history to overcome, but they stick up for one another. They grasp the concept of love and who are we as an audience to hold that against them? The show needs to viewed through different lenses. I’m not suggesting detestable characters like Frank Gallagher get a pass. No far from it. What makes this show good is that we have humane and good natured characters doing the best with what they have. Frank does not fit that description. The show is about Fiona and her family.
Emmy Rossum turned in a brilliant performance as Fiona Gallagher over the course of the first season. Seeing her have to balance all the love she has for her family against the desire to be comfortable and selfish was a thing of beauty. The season finale was no exception. When Lip and Ian were released from prison it was nice to see her so relieved that they’re safe, but she still had the fire to smack them around and hold them accountable. Then as she was walking away, her knowing smile to Tony said so much. Fiona knows he’s a good person, maybe a great person, and she’s very grateful for what he’s done, but she is who she is and they couldn’t work right now. Another great Fiona moment happened when Ian told her he was gay for the first time. It wasn’t when she said, “I know,” because honestly I found that a little silly, but when she said, “You’re still on my shit list.” It’s a great moment for Ian’s character. He learns just how in tune his family is with him and that they care, but still won’t let him get away with whatever he wants. So it’s not surprising that Fiona chose to stay in Chicago rather than go to Costa Rica with Steve. She loves him, yes, but the deal has always been her plus her family and he knows that. Fiona’s idea of comfortability may rest in having a consistent job and bringing in a steady flow of cash. Steve will learn that he can’t take her away from her family.
It will be interesting to see what happens with Steve in season two. I was a little surprised when they didn’t bring up Steve’s duel lives to Fiona. It seemed like it was all but inevitable, however I’m glad they didn’t. Fiona needed to be faced with the decision to leave baggage free and choose to stay. If she would have known about Steve’s other life, it would have been Fiona sticking around because she had no other options. Now that she’s chosen to stay, the writers can fully expound on the Steve/Jimmy situation. Fiona has needed him for both emotional and financial stability, but now that Jasmine is in her life, Steve needs to be there as an emotional partner more than he has. That will be difficult with him in Costa Rica. I envision that the second season will pick up some time in the future where Fiona is stable and so are the rest of the Gallagher’s, but they’re not as happy. I think we need Steve in the show. He adds the element that money does not buy happiness.
Frank Gallagher is the show’s biggest concern going forward. He is such a detestable human being that it’s borderline cartoonish. Shameless tried their best by making him give a curbside apology to his son for sleeping with his girl. However, even that had him justifying his actions claiming that he was a victim in all of this as well. I will say, there was a glimmer of humanity when he jumped back into the urine stream. It was the most bizarre apology and acceptance perhaps ever captured on TV, but in Shameless it works. However, when I hear Frank claiming he’s the real victim, I think of Eddie Jackson. I never thought Eddie was a sympathetic character, but seeing what he went through was tough. Everyone abandoned him to the point where he took his own life at the one place where he felt happy. There wasn’t even that much hesitation when he decided to drop the cinder block in the water. The life that Frank lives is dangerous and wrong and it pains me to see him go unpunished. I’m not sure if he’ll ever change, or even if I want him to. Perhaps we need to hate him, but I’ll be damned if I ever feel any compassion for his character.
It’s for that reason that I don’t think he should be a focal point for the show. I think he is best served as a catalyst for other events. A great example of this is when he slept with Karen. The show didn’t go in a direction where it was all about Frank tying up all the loose the ends that that situation created. It instead let other characters discover the issue and then they handled everything on their own. Tell me you didn’t cheer a little inside when Lip started beating Frank in the snow. The south side of Chicago has a code. People look the other way on a lot of issues, but sleeping with a man’s young daughter is not tolerated. It’s good to see there’s some moral code in the world of Shameless.
Shameless wrapped up its first season yesterday with a wonderfully heartbreaking season finale. So much of the talk about Shameless was people being upset with the Gallagher’s and how they choose to live. If the Gallagher’s don’t care about their own lives, why should I? I think that some people had a hard time grasping the notion that not every person has a desire to “move up” in life. Remember that Shameless is a British show originally and across the pond the notion of the lower middle class sticking its nose at the upper class elite is a long standing tradition. The idea of the American Dream is still present in the United States however. People want to make enough money to be comfortable, to be rich. Not many are ok with the idea of not knowing how they’re going to play rent next month. This is why the Gallagher family is so polarizing in the public’s eyes. Here we have a family that is, at the center of it all, happy. Sure they have a myriad of problems and a lot of history to overcome, but they stick up for one another. They grasp the concept of love and who are we as an audience to hold that against them? The show needs to viewed through different lenses. I’m not suggesting detestable characters like Frank Gallagher get a pass. No far from it. What makes this show good is that we have humane and good natured characters doing the best with what they have. Frank does not fit that description. The show is about Fiona and her family.
Emmy Rossum turned in a brilliant performance as Fiona Gallagher over the course of the first season. Seeing her have to balance all the love she has for her family against the desire to be comfortable and selfish was a thing of beauty. The season finale was no exception. When Lip and Ian were released from prison it was nice to see her so relieved that they’re safe, but she still had the fire to smack them around and hold them accountable. Then as she was walking away, her knowing smile to Tony said so much. Fiona knows he’s a good person, maybe a great person, and she’s very grateful for what he’s done, but she is who she is and they couldn’t work right now. Another great Fiona moment happened when Ian told her he was gay for the first time. It wasn’t when she said, “I know,” because honestly I found that a little silly, but when she said, “You’re still on my shit list.” It’s a great moment for Ian’s character. He learns just how in tune his family is with him and that they care, but still won’t let him get away with whatever he wants. So it’s not surprising that Fiona chose to stay in Chicago rather than go to Costa Rica with Steve. She loves him, yes, but the deal has always been her plus her family and he knows that. Fiona’s idea of comfortability may rest in having a consistent job and bringing in a steady flow of cash. Steve will learn that he can’t take her away from her family.
It will be interesting to see what happens with Steve in season two. I was a little surprised when they didn’t bring up Steve’s duel lives to Fiona. It seemed like it was all but inevitable, however I’m glad they didn’t. Fiona needed to be faced with the decision to leave baggage free and choose to stay. If she would have known about Steve’s other life, it would have been Fiona sticking around because she had no other options. Now that she’s chosen to stay, the writers can fully expound on the Steve/Jimmy situation. Fiona has needed him for both emotional and financial stability, but now that Jasmine is in her life, Steve needs to be there as an emotional partner more than he has. That will be difficult with him in Costa Rica. I envision that the second season will pick up some time in the future where Fiona is stable and so are the rest of the Gallagher’s, but they’re not as happy. I think we need Steve in the show. He adds the element that money does not buy happiness.
Frank Gallagher is the show’s biggest concern going forward. He is such a detestable human being that it’s borderline cartoonish. Shameless tried their best by making him give a curbside apology to his son for sleeping with his girl. However, even that had him justifying his actions claiming that he was a victim in all of this as well. I will say, there was a glimmer of humanity when he jumped back into the urine stream. It was the most bizarre apology and acceptance perhaps ever captured on TV, but in Shameless it works. However, when I hear Frank claiming he’s the real victim, I think of Eddie Jackson. I never thought Eddie was a sympathetic character, but seeing what he went through was tough. Everyone abandoned him to the point where he took his own life at the one place where he felt happy. There wasn’t even that much hesitation when he decided to drop the cinder block in the water. The life that Frank lives is dangerous and wrong and it pains me to see him go unpunished. I’m not sure if he’ll ever change, or even if I want him to. Perhaps we need to hate him, but I’ll be damned if I ever feel any compassion for his character.
It’s for that reason that I don’t think he should be a focal point for the show. I think he is best served as a catalyst for other events. A great example of this is when he slept with Karen. The show didn’t go in a direction where it was all about Frank tying up all the loose the ends that that situation created. It instead let other characters discover the issue and then they handled everything on their own. Tell me you didn’t cheer a little inside when Lip started beating Frank in the snow. The south side of Chicago has a code. People look the other way on a lot of issues, but sleeping with a man’s young daughter is not tolerated. It’s good to see there’s some moral code in the world of Shameless.
Californication "And Justice for All" Review
I may have to watch last night's finale again because I'm not sure I "got it." Yes, Hank escaped with just probation, community service and a fine but where does that leave him? Karen has obviously moved on with Ben. He blew it with Abbey because as she put it he's "too fucked up" for her. He took Becca's advice and moved out of the hotel. The last we see of Hank he's speeding down the California highway with all his possessions packed into his Porsche. Is he leaving LA? Can he leave California while on probation? Is he heading to the desert for the Jim Morrison experience to find his destiny? Where is Hank headed? I don't know. What I do know is that I loved about 2/3 of the finale and absolutely hated the other 1/3.
When I saw the previews of Hank passing out in court, I assumed it was him passing out just before the sentencing and waking up to find out he had gotten probation. If the preview didn't clue you in the the episodes title should have been a dead give away. I'm not upset by the verdict and sentencing. I never considered him guilty of statutory rape and there's personal growth that can be gained from Hank's brush with the law. However, if I were the judge I would have told him I intended to sentence him to probation but after his smartass statement he earned 30 days in jail along with probation. I'm vindictive like that though.
The dinner party at Stu's was absolute gold. I could have lived without Eddie Nero and Sasha but I understand their presence. For the sake of every Californication fan, I hope we never have to see Rob Lowe as Eddie Nero ever again. Only slightly less irritating was Charlie's nutball girlfriend. Her little dirty antics grew tiresome faster than Charlie Sheen's. The first time she wanted Charlie to pretend he was her brother while they had sex was funny and wrong but by last night's episode the humor had completely evaporated into fumes of crappy unwelcomed screen time. Minus her stabbing Charlie at dinner. That did make me laugh.
Of course Charlie still loves Marcy. He didn't divorce her, she divorced him despite his constant attempts to win her back. Why was this even a question? No that everyone knows she carrying Charlie's baby, what is their future? Does she stay with Stu? That what it looked like during the long closing montage. I'm cool with that. I found Stu more often than not funny plus lest we forget he's "rich as fuck and hung like a moose."
Even though I thought the dinner party was hilarious, I didn't care for the interaction between Hank and Ben. I get it that Ben is a better person than Hank but I have trouble accepting that he'd just sit there and take jab after jab from Hank. At some point, Hank just looks like a bully and Ben doesn't seem like the kind of guy that allows himself to be bullied. Honestly, I have know idea what the "Black Jesus" was supposed to represent when he save Hank in the pool. Maybe, Ben is the person that not only saves Hank's life but also saves Karen and Becca from Hank's self destruction. Maybe, Ben is the example that saves Hank from Hank's self destruction.
OK now on to the 1/3 I hated. The 7 or so minute montage of Hank on the movie set was terribly executed and overall dumb. I'm not going to question Hank sleeping with the actress playing Karen because that's just Hank doing what Hank do. I will say I couldn't stand the flashes of the real Karen and Becca with the actors playing them. I thought the entire montage was pointless. It didn't add any additional meaning to the lessons of the season or further the relationship between the three in a good or bad way. Like about a third of this season's episodes the montage was just cinematic masturbation. Visuals to stimulate and evoke emotions without actually furthering the characters.
Overall, season 4 was a step in the right direction after a terrible third season but the character of Hank stagnated. His failure to learn from his past and grow as a person has become a detriment not only to his family but to his likability as a character. The fifth season needs to further Hank as a person. Otherwise he faces becoming a caricature of himself and the show following he same precipitous decline that doomed Entourage.
When I saw the previews of Hank passing out in court, I assumed it was him passing out just before the sentencing and waking up to find out he had gotten probation. If the preview didn't clue you in the the episodes title should have been a dead give away. I'm not upset by the verdict and sentencing. I never considered him guilty of statutory rape and there's personal growth that can be gained from Hank's brush with the law. However, if I were the judge I would have told him I intended to sentence him to probation but after his smartass statement he earned 30 days in jail along with probation. I'm vindictive like that though.
The dinner party at Stu's was absolute gold. I could have lived without Eddie Nero and Sasha but I understand their presence. For the sake of every Californication fan, I hope we never have to see Rob Lowe as Eddie Nero ever again. Only slightly less irritating was Charlie's nutball girlfriend. Her little dirty antics grew tiresome faster than Charlie Sheen's. The first time she wanted Charlie to pretend he was her brother while they had sex was funny and wrong but by last night's episode the humor had completely evaporated into fumes of crappy unwelcomed screen time. Minus her stabbing Charlie at dinner. That did make me laugh.
Of course Charlie still loves Marcy. He didn't divorce her, she divorced him despite his constant attempts to win her back. Why was this even a question? No that everyone knows she carrying Charlie's baby, what is their future? Does she stay with Stu? That what it looked like during the long closing montage. I'm cool with that. I found Stu more often than not funny plus lest we forget he's "rich as fuck and hung like a moose."
Even though I thought the dinner party was hilarious, I didn't care for the interaction between Hank and Ben. I get it that Ben is a better person than Hank but I have trouble accepting that he'd just sit there and take jab after jab from Hank. At some point, Hank just looks like a bully and Ben doesn't seem like the kind of guy that allows himself to be bullied. Honestly, I have know idea what the "Black Jesus" was supposed to represent when he save Hank in the pool. Maybe, Ben is the person that not only saves Hank's life but also saves Karen and Becca from Hank's self destruction. Maybe, Ben is the example that saves Hank from Hank's self destruction.
OK now on to the 1/3 I hated. The 7 or so minute montage of Hank on the movie set was terribly executed and overall dumb. I'm not going to question Hank sleeping with the actress playing Karen because that's just Hank doing what Hank do. I will say I couldn't stand the flashes of the real Karen and Becca with the actors playing them. I thought the entire montage was pointless. It didn't add any additional meaning to the lessons of the season or further the relationship between the three in a good or bad way. Like about a third of this season's episodes the montage was just cinematic masturbation. Visuals to stimulate and evoke emotions without actually furthering the characters.
Overall, season 4 was a step in the right direction after a terrible third season but the character of Hank stagnated. His failure to learn from his past and grow as a person has become a detriment not only to his family but to his likability as a character. The fifth season needs to further Hank as a person. Otherwise he faces becoming a caricature of himself and the show following he same precipitous decline that doomed Entourage.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Big Love Series Wrap-up with guest blogger Nicole Zierlein
When Big Love ended last week I knew there was one person who would be equally disappointed in the finally and miss the show next season as much as I would, Nicole Zierlein. Nicole has an excellent blog of her own you should be following and before I even asked her to write something for ApeDonkey she was already working on it. Thanks again Nicole for contributing and the invitation is always open for more.
When Big Love premiered, I was pretty skeptical. How could I watch a show about a man and his three wives even if one of the wives was Chloe Sevigny? Polygamy was not interesting to me in the least, especially considering everything we had seen in the news regarding Warren Jeffs and his followers. The fact that the show was on HBO still didn’t convince me. The first season went by, and I didn’t watch one episode. It wasn’t until my friend told me over and over during season 2 that he could see me in Nicki that I finally decided to give it a chance. (By the time the show ended, this was really more of an insult than the compliment he intended.)
In my opinion, this show was a work of art. It was perfectly cast with Bill Paxton as the husband and Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin as the sister wives. Sure, some of the children weren’t perfect, but as far as the relevant characters go, the cast rocked. The acting in this show was so spot on that my favorite wife changed each season. I found myself identifying with the sister wives more than I ever thought I could. Although, in the end despite what my friend thinks, I am much more Barb than Nicki or Margene.
The show did exactly what Bill tried to do all along: convince us that polygamous unions can work. It showed the practical stuff like who does the shopping? How many moms do the kids have? To the most pressing: when do they have sex with Bill and what do the other wives think about that? Turns out that head wife Barb is really good at organizing things from finances to scheduling which wife slept with Bill on which night. Said schedule could be altered if a wife was trying for a baby.
Big Love took a couple who had been married for years before Bill decided he had a calling to plural marriage. My first question upon watching the show was: how did he convince Barb into doing this? You knew from season 1 that she wasn’t really convinced about the whole plural marriage thing. The more she talked about how much the family meant to her, the more you realized that she was never really on board. How did Bill convince her? Simple, he knew she loved him and would do anything for him. My heart broke for her, which would happen over and over throughout the series. Who can’t understand being manipulated like that?
I loved how the show allowed Barb to find herself more and more each season. And in finding herself, she realized that she didn’t need Bill. We saw Barb as mother extraordinaire, Mother of the Year (almost), return to school and as the person who truly was the heart of the family. She didn’t just run the houses, she made sure the wives were taken care of even when Bill wanted to ignore problems. This season Barb felt called to be a priesthood holder, a big NO in Bill’s religion. Barb stronger than ever, continued on the path and found a church where she could live her calling. Of course, for me the big letdown came when Barb who was about to get baptized in a different church didn’t follow through because her family wasn’t there. While I could understand the love and need she had for the family, it was just so disappointing to see her go back to someone who really treated her like dirt.
I think what I liked best about this show was how each wife evolved, except maybe Nicki who was basically always a bitch. Her lines just got meaner and meaner. But since I’m kind of mean, I liked it and until this season, loved her character. Nicki Grant, the cold sister wife who came from the compound: you never knew until the third season if she was capable of love. Her marriage to Bill was part of a business arrangement between her father and Bill. Nicki was the child who grew up yearning for her parents’ love and never being good enough for them. Turns out, she was also placed in the Joy Books and became a teen bride. I suppose that would make any person as cold as ice. My absolute favorite Nicki scene was when she worked undercover in the DA’s office and started dating someone else. When she finally came clean about it, I watched the scene over and over. Second best storyline for Nicki was the family finding out she was on birth control. While she almost let someone else take the fall for her, she did finally come clean, but was not really apologetic about it. That is what was great about Nicki, she had no problem telling you what she thought regardless of your feelings. One last fave of Nicki was her giving it to the red headed kid that bullied her son. As the mother of a son who was bullied by a red head a few years ago, I could only applaud her actions.
The fact that I liked Margene so much was a huge surprise for me. She was the young hot wife who loved sex, (although she wasn’t the only wife that loved sex). She was so much more than something pretty to look at though. She had a huge heart and loved without boundaries. Her charm allowed her to make a fortune without any help from the family. Ginnifer Goodwin did such a good job in this role that it was believable first, that she considered herself a mother to Ben, the teenage son of Barb, and then later allowed Ben to comfort her when she couldn’t have Bill at her side. I thought the ending of the show with her going off to do missionary work was out of character, but really, it wasn’t. I mean, yes it was a bit much for her to leave her children, but she grew so much over the seasons that her leaving Utah to save the world actually made sense. She realized she had a life outside of the Henrickson’s family compound. I only wish Barb had found that life.
Big Love even showed us how you date in a plural marriage. I went back and forth on this storyline. It was interesting to watch Bill date a new woman, as well as the sister wives date her. Of course, Nicki hated her, and at that point we found out that Nicki had voted against adding Margene to the family. Maybe Nicki knew Margene wasn’t of age? I didn’t really like Anna, but once Barb decided she did, I changed my mind about her. When Anna left the family, I was kind of relieved for the storyline to end. This storyline did show us another example of Bill screwing over Barb: having sex with yet another person outside of their marriage. Thanks, Bill.
My favorite seasons were probably the first and third, with the fourth season being the worst. The first season introduced us to the family and showed us how they lived. We saw one daughter who didn’t agree with the lifestyle and looked for support outside the home. We saw how Barb’s family reacted to her lifestyle, they disowned her. I loved every scene with Ellen Burstyn as Barb’s mother. The fourth season was just too much: the run for Senate, the casino and trip to Mexico didn’t do much for me.
The thing I hated most about Big Love was the crazy characters. I know that Grace Zabriskie is an amazing actress, but almost every scene she was a part of drove me crazy. That is until this season, I actually liked the storyline with her having dementia and depending on Frank, the husband with whom she had a volatile relationship. (In fact, the last scene of him killing her was one of the few scenes I actually liked from the last episode.) But if I hated Grace Zabriskie, I hated Bill’s brother, Joey, more than any character on the show. I just couldn’t handle how stupid he was.
Dealing with those characters was worth it because the show provided us with Roman Grant, one of the best villains on television. I loved how devious he was and how his wife helped him nonstop. I was so sad when they killed him, and I couldn’t believe that Joey of all people did it. Roman was always one step ahead until the pillow.
Alby was another great character. You wanted to feel sorry for him as a gay man growing up in that environment. There was no way he could live out in the open, but even before the love of his life committed suicide, he was just an asshole. This season he was awesome, but the end for his character, getting shot in the shoulder by Bill, was lame. The great thing about Alby and Roman for that matter was that they could convince anyone to do their dirty work.
I watched an interview with the creators of the show, and they explained that they were ending this season because they didn’t feel they had enough material for another season. While I see their point, the way they ended things was a cop out. I actually didn’t mind Bill getting killed, my problem was how things ended for the interesting ones: the wives. There was no reason for Barb to stay. I could see Nicki (and Margene possibly) staying, but Barb grew so much, and while growth doesn’t have to mean a life alone, it should mean a life where you are respected and Bill clearly didn’t respect her.
Despite my disappointment with how the show ended, I am going to miss Big Love. I really became invested in the sister wives and cared about each of them. I found myself rooting for this marriage to work. I wanted them to live in the open and continue to show people it could be done. That it wasn’t all prairie skirts and long hair. I wanted Bill to wake up and stop alienating those around him.
Every year, there is talk about Grace Zabriskie getting an Emmy. Chloe was finally awarded last year, maybe it was a Golden Globe. This year has to be the year for Jeanne Tripplehorn. She was so damn good.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Justified "Save My Love" Review
I'm finally getting around to writing this review and I'm exhausted. It's been a long day in which some dick broke into my truck and stole my wife's laptop so let's make this short and to the point.
This week's episode should have had a disclaimer on it that said "Long time fans need only apply." Anyone who hasn't watched the show regularly not only would have been confused by the short scene between Gary and Duffy but they wouldn't have gotten a good sample of what Justified is really like.
I've seen Raylan face gun fire. Stare down the barrel of criminal with bad intentions but I've never been more nervous for him than I was this week as he tried to return the money Winona took from the evidence room without anyone noticing. Stealth and deception definitely aren't strong suits for him. He's prefers to be direct and rely on his ability to be quicker than his opponent. I never got the impression he felt particularly guilty about what he was doing. Committing several felonies. He just seemed annoyed to be put in the position in the first place. It took more work than he would have liked but he and Winona were able to get the money back where it belonged without anyone knowing. Well, except for maybe Chief Deputy Mullen. This incident may not be as over with as it appears.
I was pretty excited to see Rebecca Creskoff show up on Justified this week as the mining companies Vice President Carol Johnson. She's been the only part of Hung worth watching for its entire two seasons. I did find her version of a southern accent kind of distracting but as long as she continues to own scenes with her confidence and sexuality, I can overlook the rest. So, what does she need Boyd for? Well, for most of the episode she claims it's for security but I don't think any of us really believed that line. Her real intentions for Boyd are revealed in the final scene of the episode. She needs someone to get Mags and the Bennett boys out of her way and she believes Boyd is just the man for the job.
There's a moment in the final scene that shows you all you need to know about the brilliance of Walton Goggins in the role of Boyd Crowder. Right after Carol tells Boyd she needs him to deal with Mags and company, without saying a word, Goggins is able to express fear, curiosity and eagerness all in a split second. Next year with Emmy nominations come out, if Walton Goggins isn't at the top of the list then they should just discontinue the award.
As a Justified fan who's been with the show from the beginning, I thought it was a good episode. We got to see a different side of Raylan. We saw him uncharacteristically nervous and completely out of his element sneaking around behind his fellow Marshal's backs. In the end though his intuition and natural ability to read a situation was able to come through during the false bomb threat. It wasn't a typical episode but good none the less.
Random Thoughts:
This week's episode should have had a disclaimer on it that said "Long time fans need only apply." Anyone who hasn't watched the show regularly not only would have been confused by the short scene between Gary and Duffy but they wouldn't have gotten a good sample of what Justified is really like.
I've seen Raylan face gun fire. Stare down the barrel of criminal with bad intentions but I've never been more nervous for him than I was this week as he tried to return the money Winona took from the evidence room without anyone noticing. Stealth and deception definitely aren't strong suits for him. He's prefers to be direct and rely on his ability to be quicker than his opponent. I never got the impression he felt particularly guilty about what he was doing. Committing several felonies. He just seemed annoyed to be put in the position in the first place. It took more work than he would have liked but he and Winona were able to get the money back where it belonged without anyone knowing. Well, except for maybe Chief Deputy Mullen. This incident may not be as over with as it appears.
I was pretty excited to see Rebecca Creskoff show up on Justified this week as the mining companies Vice President Carol Johnson. She's been the only part of Hung worth watching for its entire two seasons. I did find her version of a southern accent kind of distracting but as long as she continues to own scenes with her confidence and sexuality, I can overlook the rest. So, what does she need Boyd for? Well, for most of the episode she claims it's for security but I don't think any of us really believed that line. Her real intentions for Boyd are revealed in the final scene of the episode. She needs someone to get Mags and the Bennett boys out of her way and she believes Boyd is just the man for the job.
There's a moment in the final scene that shows you all you need to know about the brilliance of Walton Goggins in the role of Boyd Crowder. Right after Carol tells Boyd she needs him to deal with Mags and company, without saying a word, Goggins is able to express fear, curiosity and eagerness all in a split second. Next year with Emmy nominations come out, if Walton Goggins isn't at the top of the list then they should just discontinue the award.
As a Justified fan who's been with the show from the beginning, I thought it was a good episode. We got to see a different side of Raylan. We saw him uncharacteristically nervous and completely out of his element sneaking around behind his fellow Marshal's backs. In the end though his intuition and natural ability to read a situation was able to come through during the false bomb threat. It wasn't a typical episode but good none the less.
Random Thoughts:
- Why have I always thought Winona was a lawyer?
- I can always use more Stephen Root. You can give him any name you want but he'll always be Jimmy James to me.
- Two full episodes without the Bennetts is way too many.
The Office - "Garage Sale" Review
“Michael. You’ve had two ideas today, and one of them was great. And the other one was terrible.” -Pam
This may have just been my favorite The Office episode ever. Did I laugh the most in this episode? No. Did I care about all the side stories? No. But The Office struck me emotionally a bit tonight. I’m not the guy that applauds a comedy when they go rogue and do something emotional to try and show its range, but I applaud when a show is so true to itself that everything just works. Tonight The Office worked. It worked like it hasn’t before. Tonight was the first real push to the Michael Scott farewell episode. In a brilliant proposal scene Michael asks for Holly’s hand in marriage and then tells the office that he’s leaving for Colorado. What a great final 5 minutes.
Tonight’s episode was so great because it got back to what it does best: make us enjoy the great characters. Every character served their purpose tonight. Yes, the point of the episode was Michael Scott’s proposal, but it wasn’t even half the episode. Every person did something small that added to their character. The only time we saw Creed was when he traded Dwight a knife in a quick cut, but yet what a great 1 second. Michael even added to the characterization of Toby and Meredith by just uttering a sentence about them to Holly as he was taking her around a tour of the office. This is the type of symbiotic relationship that always needs to coexist between characterization and plot development. As Michael was getting to the proposal, the plot element, he added to the characterization of other characters. The fact that we know and love all these people makes it so heartbreaking when Michael announces that he’s leaving and no one in the office is excited about it. For as much grief as he’s given the, they still really like their boss and don’t want to see him go.
We now have the escape plan all mapped out. I was happy to see that the events leading up to the decision for Michael to leave are plausible. It would have been easy to send Michael away on some bizarre journey where he invests in a Sbarro’s in India or something, but they chose something way better. I love that he is moving to follow Holly. Michael has a good job and he’s happy, but he’s happiest with her and we see that he’ll leave everything to be with her. Michael has been defined by his job for so long, but now Holly is his life and the evolution of Michael Scott is almost complete. As he was proposing, I started to well up with tears, but when the sprinklers came on, I busted out laughing. Those 15 seconds are The Office in a nutshell. Again, not to keep up with the love fest, but I really loved this episode! And Steve Carell needs an Emmy!
Other thoughts:
Jim is a ploarizing figure on the show and he often gets on people’s nerves, but tonight he was great. He’s at his best when he has a few light hearted moments with Pam, but mostly spends his time trying to prank Dwight out of boredom.
Kevin is a straight up hustler. He ran that Dallas board game.
Was that a Gabe sighting in the final scene? Feels like we haven’t seen too much of him. I would be happy if I never saw him again. With Michael leaving, I feel like the Andy Bernard and Erin love story may move to the front.
Good job by The Office writers on coming up with the garage sale idea. We can get a lot of information about characters by the trinkets they keep and choose to sell.
Why does it not surprise me Holly has a “neon guy?”
This may have just been my favorite The Office episode ever. Did I laugh the most in this episode? No. Did I care about all the side stories? No. But The Office struck me emotionally a bit tonight. I’m not the guy that applauds a comedy when they go rogue and do something emotional to try and show its range, but I applaud when a show is so true to itself that everything just works. Tonight The Office worked. It worked like it hasn’t before. Tonight was the first real push to the Michael Scott farewell episode. In a brilliant proposal scene Michael asks for Holly’s hand in marriage and then tells the office that he’s leaving for Colorado. What a great final 5 minutes.
Tonight’s episode was so great because it got back to what it does best: make us enjoy the great characters. Every character served their purpose tonight. Yes, the point of the episode was Michael Scott’s proposal, but it wasn’t even half the episode. Every person did something small that added to their character. The only time we saw Creed was when he traded Dwight a knife in a quick cut, but yet what a great 1 second. Michael even added to the characterization of Toby and Meredith by just uttering a sentence about them to Holly as he was taking her around a tour of the office. This is the type of symbiotic relationship that always needs to coexist between characterization and plot development. As Michael was getting to the proposal, the plot element, he added to the characterization of other characters. The fact that we know and love all these people makes it so heartbreaking when Michael announces that he’s leaving and no one in the office is excited about it. For as much grief as he’s given the, they still really like their boss and don’t want to see him go.
We now have the escape plan all mapped out. I was happy to see that the events leading up to the decision for Michael to leave are plausible. It would have been easy to send Michael away on some bizarre journey where he invests in a Sbarro’s in India or something, but they chose something way better. I love that he is moving to follow Holly. Michael has a good job and he’s happy, but he’s happiest with her and we see that he’ll leave everything to be with her. Michael has been defined by his job for so long, but now Holly is his life and the evolution of Michael Scott is almost complete. As he was proposing, I started to well up with tears, but when the sprinklers came on, I busted out laughing. Those 15 seconds are The Office in a nutshell. Again, not to keep up with the love fest, but I really loved this episode! And Steve Carell needs an Emmy!
Other thoughts:
Jim is a ploarizing figure on the show and he often gets on people’s nerves, but tonight he was great. He’s at his best when he has a few light hearted moments with Pam, but mostly spends his time trying to prank Dwight out of boredom.
Kevin is a straight up hustler. He ran that Dallas board game.
Was that a Gabe sighting in the final scene? Feels like we haven’t seen too much of him. I would be happy if I never saw him again. With Michael leaving, I feel like the Andy Bernard and Erin love story may move to the front.
Good job by The Office writers on coming up with the garage sale idea. We can get a lot of information about characters by the trinkets they keep and choose to sell.
Why does it not surprise me Holly has a “neon guy?”
Community - "Critical Film Studies" Review
“As I fell to the floor...I pooped my pants. I did.” -Abed
Community often walks a fine line between comedy and culture. What I mean by that is that some times Community plays for laughs by putting interesting people in interesting situations and we get laughs. Other times, like tonight, it references moments and images from our pop culture history. It pays respect to certain things that shape creative minds. I don’t believe I ever laughed once during tonight’s Community, but that isn’t to say it wasn’t bad or poorly executed. As I watched the opening scene I thought, “ I’m sure that this Community episode is a nod to something, but I don’t know what it is. That being said, I still applaud the show for its creativity. Everyone is dressed in Pulp Fiction clothing. This is where my lack of knowledge about that movie may haunt me. That and Cougar Town.” Community is so clever, but it can really alienate an audience. If I was a casual viewer or someone who had never seen an episode and I saw that one, I’m not sure if I’d watch another one.
Lot’s of TV viewers crave consistency. This is the reason procedurals and cop dramas are big hits. You know exactly `what you’re going to get from CSI and NCIS every single time out. I’ll admit, I was lost during this whole episode tonight. I kept trying to figure out all the references and it left me not really able to enjoy some of the fine acting that was going on. I had never heard of My Dinner With Andre before tonight, but I did look it up. It stars Wallace Shawn who is the “Inconceivable” guy from Princess Bride and the voice of Rex on Toy Story. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes left that I just decided to stop worrying about the uniqueness of the episode and pay attention to the characters I love,
This was an especially strong episode for Danny Pudi as Abed. That monologue he gave will be stuff of legends in Theatre Arts 1 classes in high schools for years to come. He revealed a lot of flexibility about himself, the actor. I don’t watch Cougar Town, but I understand enough that it’s totally in Abed’s personality to like that show. I bet he also loves Chuck and Fringe. Jeff had another strong episode. If Amy Poehler can get Emmy love for Parks and Rec last season, I see no reason Joel McHale can’t the same love this season. I couldn’t help but notice that Chang fit in particularly well this episode. Aside from the fact that Jeff would never invite him to Abed’s surprise party, he really seemed like a member of the group. However, he was just filling the role of Pierce as someone who antagonized and instigated. Pierce’s only purpose was to make a “balls” and “gay” joke. I’m beginning to really think the show needs to move on without him. Anything that will get Alison Brie more air time I’m favor for. She, again, played a very minor role this episode.
I still absolutely love Community as a show. I love that they DO do episodes like this, but I’m beginning to see why it doesn’t appeal to massive numbers. I know it’s been picked up for a third season already, so let’s hope NBC keeps ignoring its numbers and let us lucky few who watch this show enjoy it for what it is.
Community often walks a fine line between comedy and culture. What I mean by that is that some times Community plays for laughs by putting interesting people in interesting situations and we get laughs. Other times, like tonight, it references moments and images from our pop culture history. It pays respect to certain things that shape creative minds. I don’t believe I ever laughed once during tonight’s Community, but that isn’t to say it wasn’t bad or poorly executed. As I watched the opening scene I thought, “ I’m sure that this Community episode is a nod to something, but I don’t know what it is. That being said, I still applaud the show for its creativity. Everyone is dressed in Pulp Fiction clothing. This is where my lack of knowledge about that movie may haunt me. That and Cougar Town.” Community is so clever, but it can really alienate an audience. If I was a casual viewer or someone who had never seen an episode and I saw that one, I’m not sure if I’d watch another one.
Lot’s of TV viewers crave consistency. This is the reason procedurals and cop dramas are big hits. You know exactly `what you’re going to get from CSI and NCIS every single time out. I’ll admit, I was lost during this whole episode tonight. I kept trying to figure out all the references and it left me not really able to enjoy some of the fine acting that was going on. I had never heard of My Dinner With Andre before tonight, but I did look it up. It stars Wallace Shawn who is the “Inconceivable” guy from Princess Bride and the voice of Rex on Toy Story. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes left that I just decided to stop worrying about the uniqueness of the episode and pay attention to the characters I love,
This was an especially strong episode for Danny Pudi as Abed. That monologue he gave will be stuff of legends in Theatre Arts 1 classes in high schools for years to come. He revealed a lot of flexibility about himself, the actor. I don’t watch Cougar Town, but I understand enough that it’s totally in Abed’s personality to like that show. I bet he also loves Chuck and Fringe. Jeff had another strong episode. If Amy Poehler can get Emmy love for Parks and Rec last season, I see no reason Joel McHale can’t the same love this season. I couldn’t help but notice that Chang fit in particularly well this episode. Aside from the fact that Jeff would never invite him to Abed’s surprise party, he really seemed like a member of the group. However, he was just filling the role of Pierce as someone who antagonized and instigated. Pierce’s only purpose was to make a “balls” and “gay” joke. I’m beginning to really think the show needs to move on without him. Anything that will get Alison Brie more air time I’m favor for. She, again, played a very minor role this episode.
I still absolutely love Community as a show. I love that they DO do episodes like this, but I’m beginning to see why it doesn’t appeal to massive numbers. I know it’s been picked up for a third season already, so let’s hope NBC keeps ignoring its numbers and let us lucky few who watch this show enjoy it for what it is.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Parks and Recreation "Camping" Review
I was out on vacation last week so I never got around to reviewing the "Harvest Festival" episode and that's a real shame because it was outstanding. Little Sebastian stole my heart just like he has every other heart in Pawnee. And just like Little Sebastian stole my heart I'm going to steal Danny Vara's snippet on last week's episode on his blog Danny's Diatribes.
This week's "Camping" episode wasn't on the same level as last week's but a strong episode none the less. Anytime you get Ron Swanson outdoors in his element, your headed for television gold. Ron's campfire ghost story nearly made me fall out of my chair laughing. Just as he's done in the past Ron was there to pick Leslie up when she needed help the most. Now he picked her up and locked her in a room with a bunch of cats but he picked her up and it worked.
Leslie was panicked as she tried to follow up the Harvest Festival with another great idea. Who wouldn't go blank after the city manager uses your breast to brace himself during a heart attack. It was strange to see Leslie without her normal confidence and zeal for the job. However, her moment of weakness allowed us to see another side of Leslie and added depth to the character.
From the looks of things they've slowed down on trying to hook Leslie and Ben up. That's probably for the best. There's only so many relationships a sitcom can manage at a time. Right now we're still getting a lot of the budding Andy and April love affair. So far their relationship hasn't been as full of "awesome sauce" as I would like but I'm willing to give it more time. Andy and April are two of my favorite characters on the show. Andy for his lovable stupidity and April for being lovably surly. I'm with April and her views on camping. It's terrible. I hope to never suffer through that horror again unless I have a sweet hook up like Tom.
At this point they should just write Anne off the show. Very few of her scenes are funny. She has very little to do with the parks department. Ben has replaced Anne as Leslie's confidant. The whole Chris and Anne thing has run it's course. I think she should take her broken heart and run off to find Mark.
Random Thoughts:
Parks and Rec didn’t wait until the season finale to give us the Harvest Festival and more importantly Li’l Sebastien!Now on to this week or as Ron Swanson would say "What the F%#$ is a German muffin?"
First off it’s important to remember Leslie’s words, “The atrocities are in blue.”
Sepinwall had this little nugget in his review that the Indian was the guy, Jonathan Joss, who voiced John Redcorn on King of the Hill.
Ken Hotate – “There are two things I know about white people: they love Matchbox 20 and they are terrified of curses.”
Lots of great lines in this great episode, but none better than Andy’s reaction to April’s, “I love you.”
Andy – “Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce.”
Not awesome sauce? Whatever they’re doing with Ann Perkins.
This week's "Camping" episode wasn't on the same level as last week's but a strong episode none the less. Anytime you get Ron Swanson outdoors in his element, your headed for television gold. Ron's campfire ghost story nearly made me fall out of my chair laughing. Just as he's done in the past Ron was there to pick Leslie up when she needed help the most. Now he picked her up and locked her in a room with a bunch of cats but he picked her up and it worked.
Leslie was panicked as she tried to follow up the Harvest Festival with another great idea. Who wouldn't go blank after the city manager uses your breast to brace himself during a heart attack. It was strange to see Leslie without her normal confidence and zeal for the job. However, her moment of weakness allowed us to see another side of Leslie and added depth to the character.
From the looks of things they've slowed down on trying to hook Leslie and Ben up. That's probably for the best. There's only so many relationships a sitcom can manage at a time. Right now we're still getting a lot of the budding Andy and April love affair. So far their relationship hasn't been as full of "awesome sauce" as I would like but I'm willing to give it more time. Andy and April are two of my favorite characters on the show. Andy for his lovable stupidity and April for being lovably surly. I'm with April and her views on camping. It's terrible. I hope to never suffer through that horror again unless I have a sweet hook up like Tom.
At this point they should just write Anne off the show. Very few of her scenes are funny. She has very little to do with the parks department. Ben has replaced Anne as Leslie's confidant. The whole Chris and Anne thing has run it's course. I think she should take her broken heart and run off to find Mark.
Random Thoughts:
- I never want to stay at that or any B&B.
- Tom's dog bed killed me.
- I like Jerry's role on the show but can live without Donna. She does nothing for me.
- "Fishing is like Yoga but I still get to kill things" Ron Swanson
American Idol Top 11 results - 3/24/11
Here's the deal with the results shows. Not only should they not be an hour long but they shouldn't even be half an hour long. I do my best to wrap them up in about 20 minutes if possible. I've got little tolerance for the fluff and guest performers.
Uh Oh Ryan is already warning us that tonight might shock us. I could not name a single Sugarland song. Are they from Sugarland, TX? I'm pretty sure they sing country.
Here we go with what I assume is going to be the traditional horrible group performance.
How were they ever able to pull Marc Anthony? Dude looks like John Leguizamo on a 60 day hunger strike.
I'm not a fan of the guy with the tail screeching all the time. They told Pia they want her to move around and do an uptempo song but after seeing her trying to dance in this group thing. Abort. Abort. Abort.
Hey look it's Stevie Wonder. Am I the only one who is always disturbed by how small Stevie's teeth are? I looks like he never lost his baby teeth. Freaks me out. That and his braided bald ponytail.
Credit to Ford for figuring out that these kids are so bad a lip syncing they needed to go a different direction with the commercials.
Lauren, Pia and Scotty up first. I think Scotty is in the bottom tonight. All three are safe. And Louisiana dropped some profanity on live television. I love her white trashiness.
It's been a week of true confessions for me so I'm going to drop a big one on you people tonight. This is hard to admit but I don't hate Ryan Seacrest anymore. Maybe I've lost a little piss and vinegar in my old age or maybe he's just grown on me but I actually find him tolerable. Whew I feel better now.
Like I said I've never heard a Sugarland song before and after that I don't think I'll ever listen to another one.
I'm not going to comment on that wrestling piece. I think it speaks for itself.
James and Paul. I thought Paul was better but he's going to be a permanent fixture in the bottom 3 until he's eliminated. Well I guess not. Both guys are safe. I don't really understand why the old guy from American Chopper fake punched Ryan.
I wouldn't see that Carrie Underwood movie with Simon Cowell's eyes.
Jacob being safe is no surprise. He had far and away the best performance last night.
Thia and Stefano in the bottom 3 is well deserved. Stefano was terrible and Thia was boring.
I dislike Naima as much as I've ever disliked a contestant.
Casey in the bottom 3 is a shocker and it isn't. It is because he's pretty consistently one of the better performers and maybe the most entertaining of all the contestants. It isn't surprising because I laid down a bet on my sportsbook the week for him to be the last male standing. That may be the jinx of all jinxes.
OK I'm going to say it. I don't like the deflated Jennifer Hudson as much as the one with more meat on her. Boring song. My man George is singing backup. Love that guy.
Thia is safe and the 10 person concert lineup just got a little worse. I've got a bad feeling for my boy Casey. Like I said last night If you "Hello" and you don't have a blind girl sculpting you on stage then you deserve to go home. Hopefully millions of people heeded my words and sent Stefano packing.
Casey is singing for his Idol life. Good song.
Beards get it done.
At least the judges got it right even if all the morons who voted didn't.
Honestly, this whole production seemed like a WWE show right down to the predetermined outcome.
Uh Oh Ryan is already warning us that tonight might shock us. I could not name a single Sugarland song. Are they from Sugarland, TX? I'm pretty sure they sing country.
Here we go with what I assume is going to be the traditional horrible group performance.
How were they ever able to pull Marc Anthony? Dude looks like John Leguizamo on a 60 day hunger strike.
I'm not a fan of the guy with the tail screeching all the time. They told Pia they want her to move around and do an uptempo song but after seeing her trying to dance in this group thing. Abort. Abort. Abort.
Hey look it's Stevie Wonder. Am I the only one who is always disturbed by how small Stevie's teeth are? I looks like he never lost his baby teeth. Freaks me out. That and his braided bald ponytail.
Credit to Ford for figuring out that these kids are so bad a lip syncing they needed to go a different direction with the commercials.
Lauren, Pia and Scotty up first. I think Scotty is in the bottom tonight. All three are safe. And Louisiana dropped some profanity on live television. I love her white trashiness.
It's been a week of true confessions for me so I'm going to drop a big one on you people tonight. This is hard to admit but I don't hate Ryan Seacrest anymore. Maybe I've lost a little piss and vinegar in my old age or maybe he's just grown on me but I actually find him tolerable. Whew I feel better now.
Like I said I've never heard a Sugarland song before and after that I don't think I'll ever listen to another one.
I'm not going to comment on that wrestling piece. I think it speaks for itself.
James and Paul. I thought Paul was better but he's going to be a permanent fixture in the bottom 3 until he's eliminated. Well I guess not. Both guys are safe. I don't really understand why the old guy from American Chopper fake punched Ryan.
I wouldn't see that Carrie Underwood movie with Simon Cowell's eyes.
Jacob being safe is no surprise. He had far and away the best performance last night.
Thia and Stefano in the bottom 3 is well deserved. Stefano was terrible and Thia was boring.
I dislike Naima as much as I've ever disliked a contestant.
Casey in the bottom 3 is a shocker and it isn't. It is because he's pretty consistently one of the better performers and maybe the most entertaining of all the contestants. It isn't surprising because I laid down a bet on my sportsbook the week for him to be the last male standing. That may be the jinx of all jinxes.
OK I'm going to say it. I don't like the deflated Jennifer Hudson as much as the one with more meat on her. Boring song. My man George is singing backup. Love that guy.
Thia is safe and the 10 person concert lineup just got a little worse. I've got a bad feeling for my boy Casey. Like I said last night If you "Hello" and you don't have a blind girl sculpting you on stage then you deserve to go home. Hopefully millions of people heeded my words and sent Stefano packing.
Casey is singing for his Idol life. Good song.
Beards get it done.
At least the judges got it right even if all the morons who voted didn't.
Honestly, this whole production seemed like a WWE show right down to the predetermined outcome.
Survivor: Redemption Island Recap and Analysis 3/23/2011
“I’m the specialist. Rob is the mentalist. And Grant is the assassin.” -Philip
Matt and Krista meet each other on redemption island and the conversation moves quickly from prayer to business. Business at Zapatera is starting to get disrupted when Steve gets a little hurt that Stephanie and Krista voted for him. Steve, pray tell, who would you have suggested they vote for? If we’re talking poor strategic moves, you just left yourself in a position to get the question turned right back on you. Stephanie is going to try and start ingratiating herself with her tribe now. ABOUT TIME!!!
Oh dear goodness, back at Ometepe the ladies are trimming their armpit hairs with a pair of scissors. Survivor must be running out of stories to tell because spa life at Ometepe is a little unsettling. Ah but Philip is upset they aren’t pulling their weight around camp. It wouldn’t be Survivor if someone didn’t think they were doing more work at camp than someone else.
Krista and Matt continue to develop their religious relationship. Matt worries that it could be tough to face her. Trust me Matt, God does not have a problem smiting down the enemy. So smite her Matt! Smite her!!!! And smite her he does! He’s a master of the grappling hook and the ball puzzle maze. There’s not much this guy can’t do. Well, except grow brunette hair and avoid getting voted out at tribal council. It was a nice moment when Krista gave Matt her bible. Though let’s talk about precedent, can we now start gifting luxury items? Meanwhile, remind me to never date Andrea as she seems to be the jealous type. “He bonded with her more than me!!! Maaaaaattttt!!!!”
You see that Sarita. That’s what you get for trying to brush your teeth with a stick in the jungle. You need to learn to go full on sweater teeth. But wait! What is this? Dave is making a power play to get Stephanie on his side to upset the current numbers? A ha! Just as I predicted. That alliance is just to big on Zapatera.
We’re really paying a lot of attention to camp life this episode aren’t we Survivor? Oh man, I don’t like when we just hear about how people are slacking at camp. That’s a played out angle. But Philip adds an interesting angle to it, however he’s starting to become too ridiculous for me, and my threshold for characters on Survivor is high. Rob pulls Philip aside and tells him like it is. “Listen you idiot! If you’re the one who pulls your weight around camp, you get more votes for 1 million dollars! Team unity knucklehead!” Ok, I paraphrased a bit, but Philip is clearly not playing to win. No one will put his name down to win.
Stephanie is trying to mend her relationship with people in the camp. Thanks for playing the game the first 2 weeks it was a fin time. However, the alliance will be fine if they swap Sarita for Stephanie. The number is the same, and their team is stronger. It’s not a wedge being driven in the middle, just a strengthening move. And if the interviews are any indication, it appears everyone is cool with taking her out. I guess Russell was wrong when he pointed out that she was running things.
On to the immunity/reward challenge! It’s a water challenge, and I do love when people get exhausted during challenges. I’m not so sure what Jeff Probst is getting at when he asks if there’s animosity between the two tribes. Um, sure they don’t like each other, but really they don’t even know each other. Uh oh! Philip is using both the lion and the gorilla in this challenge. Better look out Zapatera. Grant and Rob just dominate the challenge physically. I’m not sure if Philip did one thing on this challenge, but no matter. Zapatera goes to tribal council again. Karma is coming back to get you for throwing challenges. I didn’t like seeing my pick to win, Mike, just get get crushed by Grant and have him resort to tearing his clothes off. Jeff mentioned Grant being an NFL player, I wonder if people knew that. Most people with good jobs, don’t want people knowing they have them because it gives people a reason to not vote for them to win a million dollars.
Just as the boys are trying to sneak off with the hidden immunity idol clue, Philip sees them and busts ‘em! The best part of this escapade is when the camera is turned on to Philip to do his confessional interview, he whispers like he’s got a bug in the room to the camera. He’s so serious, I just don’t understand what’s going on in his head. In fact, he has a name for his “alliance” with Rob and Grant. If you thought “Stealth R Us” you’d be right on the money! But Philip and the United States of America are not happy with the sneakiness going on! He threatens to kick a little ass at the right time.
Zapatera admits they just got smoked in the challenge and that they need to be strong in the challenges. The Stephanie for Sarita swap is in full effect. I’m ok with that. Stephanie is easier on the eyes. Steve claims both Sarita and Stephanie are a 1 out of 10 in challenges. I don’t think he’s paying much attention. No, Stephanie’s no Grant, but she is miles better than Sarita. And Sarita brushes her teeth with a stick.
Stephanie just comes out shooting bullets right at Sarita. Attacking her toughness, her drive, her want. Wow. She’s really laying into her. And it doesn’t seem, not surprisingly, that Sarita is going to put up a fight. I’d actually like to see everyone turn heel here and vote out Dave. Man, is he annoying. But in a bit of a twist they elect to keep Sarita. I’m not sure I agree with this move knowing what they know. Of course, we know Stephanie told Rob she’d join Ometepe come the merge. I’m on board with Dave here. You need to win at all costs here. First they throw a challenge and vote out Russell and now they vote out a true competitor. Zapatera does not seem to be playing a winning game here.
Bottom Line: We still are stuck in a holding pattern. But that is all soon to change as Zapatera is now out of excess members. David can’t be too happy that he wasn’t on the same page as his teammates. He’s now on the outside looking in. Meanwhile over at Ometepe, they still have a Philip problem, but if I were anyone, I want to take him to the end. No way anyone gives him the million dollars. I look for Ometepe to continue to win as Grant is proving to be a real game changer. The redemption island battle island between Matt and Stephanie is going to be a good one. As much as I like Stephanie, I’m still pulling for Matt.
Pick to Win: Ugh...MIke the Marine. Though I’d like to switch to Grant, but he could be too much of a physical threat. We’ll see. But I’m still going with my guy Mike.
Matt and Krista meet each other on redemption island and the conversation moves quickly from prayer to business. Business at Zapatera is starting to get disrupted when Steve gets a little hurt that Stephanie and Krista voted for him. Steve, pray tell, who would you have suggested they vote for? If we’re talking poor strategic moves, you just left yourself in a position to get the question turned right back on you. Stephanie is going to try and start ingratiating herself with her tribe now. ABOUT TIME!!!
Oh dear goodness, back at Ometepe the ladies are trimming their armpit hairs with a pair of scissors. Survivor must be running out of stories to tell because spa life at Ometepe is a little unsettling. Ah but Philip is upset they aren’t pulling their weight around camp. It wouldn’t be Survivor if someone didn’t think they were doing more work at camp than someone else.
Krista and Matt continue to develop their religious relationship. Matt worries that it could be tough to face her. Trust me Matt, God does not have a problem smiting down the enemy. So smite her Matt! Smite her!!!! And smite her he does! He’s a master of the grappling hook and the ball puzzle maze. There’s not much this guy can’t do. Well, except grow brunette hair and avoid getting voted out at tribal council. It was a nice moment when Krista gave Matt her bible. Though let’s talk about precedent, can we now start gifting luxury items? Meanwhile, remind me to never date Andrea as she seems to be the jealous type. “He bonded with her more than me!!! Maaaaaattttt!!!!”
You see that Sarita. That’s what you get for trying to brush your teeth with a stick in the jungle. You need to learn to go full on sweater teeth. But wait! What is this? Dave is making a power play to get Stephanie on his side to upset the current numbers? A ha! Just as I predicted. That alliance is just to big on Zapatera.
We’re really paying a lot of attention to camp life this episode aren’t we Survivor? Oh man, I don’t like when we just hear about how people are slacking at camp. That’s a played out angle. But Philip adds an interesting angle to it, however he’s starting to become too ridiculous for me, and my threshold for characters on Survivor is high. Rob pulls Philip aside and tells him like it is. “Listen you idiot! If you’re the one who pulls your weight around camp, you get more votes for 1 million dollars! Team unity knucklehead!” Ok, I paraphrased a bit, but Philip is clearly not playing to win. No one will put his name down to win.
Stephanie is trying to mend her relationship with people in the camp. Thanks for playing the game the first 2 weeks it was a fin time. However, the alliance will be fine if they swap Sarita for Stephanie. The number is the same, and their team is stronger. It’s not a wedge being driven in the middle, just a strengthening move. And if the interviews are any indication, it appears everyone is cool with taking her out. I guess Russell was wrong when he pointed out that she was running things.
On to the immunity/reward challenge! It’s a water challenge, and I do love when people get exhausted during challenges. I’m not so sure what Jeff Probst is getting at when he asks if there’s animosity between the two tribes. Um, sure they don’t like each other, but really they don’t even know each other. Uh oh! Philip is using both the lion and the gorilla in this challenge. Better look out Zapatera. Grant and Rob just dominate the challenge physically. I’m not sure if Philip did one thing on this challenge, but no matter. Zapatera goes to tribal council again. Karma is coming back to get you for throwing challenges. I didn’t like seeing my pick to win, Mike, just get get crushed by Grant and have him resort to tearing his clothes off. Jeff mentioned Grant being an NFL player, I wonder if people knew that. Most people with good jobs, don’t want people knowing they have them because it gives people a reason to not vote for them to win a million dollars.
Just as the boys are trying to sneak off with the hidden immunity idol clue, Philip sees them and busts ‘em! The best part of this escapade is when the camera is turned on to Philip to do his confessional interview, he whispers like he’s got a bug in the room to the camera. He’s so serious, I just don’t understand what’s going on in his head. In fact, he has a name for his “alliance” with Rob and Grant. If you thought “Stealth R Us” you’d be right on the money! But Philip and the United States of America are not happy with the sneakiness going on! He threatens to kick a little ass at the right time.
Zapatera admits they just got smoked in the challenge and that they need to be strong in the challenges. The Stephanie for Sarita swap is in full effect. I’m ok with that. Stephanie is easier on the eyes. Steve claims both Sarita and Stephanie are a 1 out of 10 in challenges. I don’t think he’s paying much attention. No, Stephanie’s no Grant, but she is miles better than Sarita. And Sarita brushes her teeth with a stick.
Stephanie just comes out shooting bullets right at Sarita. Attacking her toughness, her drive, her want. Wow. She’s really laying into her. And it doesn’t seem, not surprisingly, that Sarita is going to put up a fight. I’d actually like to see everyone turn heel here and vote out Dave. Man, is he annoying. But in a bit of a twist they elect to keep Sarita. I’m not sure I agree with this move knowing what they know. Of course, we know Stephanie told Rob she’d join Ometepe come the merge. I’m on board with Dave here. You need to win at all costs here. First they throw a challenge and vote out Russell and now they vote out a true competitor. Zapatera does not seem to be playing a winning game here.
Bottom Line: We still are stuck in a holding pattern. But that is all soon to change as Zapatera is now out of excess members. David can’t be too happy that he wasn’t on the same page as his teammates. He’s now on the outside looking in. Meanwhile over at Ometepe, they still have a Philip problem, but if I were anyone, I want to take him to the end. No way anyone gives him the million dollars. I look for Ometepe to continue to win as Grant is proving to be a real game changer. The redemption island battle island between Matt and Stephanie is going to be a good one. As much as I like Stephanie, I’m still pulling for Matt.
Pick to Win: Ugh...MIke the Marine. Though I’d like to switch to Grant, but he could be too much of a physical threat. We’ll see. But I’m still going with my guy Mike.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
American Idol top 11 compete - 3/23/11
Ahh look someone told J-Lo it was her 3rd grade dance recital tonight. Either that or she bumped her head and now thinks she's Selena Gomez.
How many jaguars had to give their lives for Steven's wardrobe? I mean seriously, the guy wears more animal print than a 68 year old Boca woman.
OK let's roll out the annual Motown reel.
While they drone on about how Motown shaped the judges lives, I'll share a little snippet from my wife while we watched last week. After a few words from Steven Tyler she turns to me and says "I can't trust the opinion of a guy with a skunk tail tied in his hair."
Looks like John the Baptist is kicking things off tonight. "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" probably a good choice based on what CCR was able to do with the song. Hate the beginning but picked it up nicely once the music kicked in. Nice performance it won't be the best of the night but he should be safe. He's apparently good friends with Band of Horses or at least their doppelgangers. OK I demand that Casey performs at least once dressed as Dr. Teeth. He's a dead ringer.
It's gonna be really tough for No Melody to sing a Motown song without a melody. Nice big voice but hard to understand. Very lackluster performance almost like she's 16. Oh yeah I forgot.
Swishy Smooth is doing some song I've never heard before but he's singing the shit out of it. This week is a fastball down the heart of the plate for him. Absolutely killed that song. Very restrained with accents in all the right places.
I hate this douche producer whose name I can never remember.
What's Louisiana got tonight. Terrible dress choice for this song. It makes her look way too big and old. Not to mention it's an atrocity of a zebra print. She's rushing through the song and trying to be too clean with it. He strength is when she dirties up a song and adds a southern flair. Wasn't terrible but a miss none the less.
Hey look that chef guy who yells at people is in the audience. That's relevant.
If you do "Hello" and don't have a blind chick sculpting your face on stage then you should automatically go home. Someone needs to tell Stefano that terrible and cheesy is no way to go through life. Does he have to world's smallest soul patch or did he run into a sharpie? I'm pretty sure he's going to be in my bottom 3 this week.
Can someone take a dictionary up to J-Lo during the commercial break and show her what the definition of amazing is.
I don't know what is more impressive Otis Williams' shiny hat bill or the six inch silver heart on his chest.
Poor Mariah just isn't long for this competition. Pretty girl especially for a cyclops but just lacks the chops to go much farther. I do like her growl though. Did she just forget the words? If so ultimate sin. She's gonna entertain a lot of people at church on Sundays but not professional level.
Is it just me or has Jennifer been adding layers of make up at each commercial break.
Let me say 20th Duggar is just about the goofiest looking SOB around. If he pulls this off it will be the upset of the competition. That was a wormy ass handshake Jimmy whatshisname just gave Scotty. I still can't get over the way he two hands the mic. Seriously kid women on the strip two hand mics like that you should not. I feel like the standing ovation is he just got is like the applause at the Special Olympics. He's definitely has a Crash Test Dummies go Nashville style. Is that a good thing?
Winnie Cooper is up next. I hope she's not wearing a bad jumpsuit like last week. She looks a lot better than last week but looking at her is the only thing keeping me awake. This is one of my least favorite Stevie songs and she's doing nothing to make it better. She might win this whole thing because she's got the look and the voice but if Pia doesn't do something to create excitement she may just sleepwalk her way out of the competition. I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with what Jennifer is saying.
I dig Randy's cardigan style this season.
I've got to give Steven credit for not being asleep this week and for not wearing one of Betty White's jackets.
Things are about to get uncomfortable as Laser Teeth falls all over the stage. What I like about this guy is that he knows who he is. Thank God he's got a guitar tonight. I guess the counter weight keeps him from falling all over the stage. This is my favorite performance from Paul this season. It helps that it's also one of my favorite songs.
Whenever Randy asks someone if they had fun that means he's not sure how he feels about the performance.
Can they please outlaw Project Throwaway from wearing her awful creations? Great choice girl because America is full of people who love African dancing. I want her voted off for those pants alone. I didn't get the dancing thing but her singing was pretty good. Dammit.
If Liz Claiborne doesn't pick up Steven Tyler as their spokes model then they're both missing an opportunity here.
Curious George is going to close out the show with "Living for the City." Nothing I like more than listening to someone who nothing about life explain lyrics to a song like this classic Stevie tune. Jesus. Cheeeeeeesy performance and really bad when singing with the back up singers.
The performances overall were pretty good thanks to some great songs. Swishy was on a different planet from everyone else with his performance.
Bottom 3
Mariah
Stefano
20th Duggar
Say goodbye to Mariah and her nice legs.
How many jaguars had to give their lives for Steven's wardrobe? I mean seriously, the guy wears more animal print than a 68 year old Boca woman.
OK let's roll out the annual Motown reel.
While they drone on about how Motown shaped the judges lives, I'll share a little snippet from my wife while we watched last week. After a few words from Steven Tyler she turns to me and says "I can't trust the opinion of a guy with a skunk tail tied in his hair."
Looks like John the Baptist is kicking things off tonight. "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" probably a good choice based on what CCR was able to do with the song. Hate the beginning but picked it up nicely once the music kicked in. Nice performance it won't be the best of the night but he should be safe. He's apparently good friends with Band of Horses or at least their doppelgangers. OK I demand that Casey performs at least once dressed as Dr. Teeth. He's a dead ringer.
It's gonna be really tough for No Melody to sing a Motown song without a melody. Nice big voice but hard to understand. Very lackluster performance almost like she's 16. Oh yeah I forgot.
Swishy Smooth is doing some song I've never heard before but he's singing the shit out of it. This week is a fastball down the heart of the plate for him. Absolutely killed that song. Very restrained with accents in all the right places.
I hate this douche producer whose name I can never remember.
What's Louisiana got tonight. Terrible dress choice for this song. It makes her look way too big and old. Not to mention it's an atrocity of a zebra print. She's rushing through the song and trying to be too clean with it. He strength is when she dirties up a song and adds a southern flair. Wasn't terrible but a miss none the less.
Hey look that chef guy who yells at people is in the audience. That's relevant.
If you do "Hello" and don't have a blind chick sculpting your face on stage then you should automatically go home. Someone needs to tell Stefano that terrible and cheesy is no way to go through life. Does he have to world's smallest soul patch or did he run into a sharpie? I'm pretty sure he's going to be in my bottom 3 this week.
Can someone take a dictionary up to J-Lo during the commercial break and show her what the definition of amazing is.
I don't know what is more impressive Otis Williams' shiny hat bill or the six inch silver heart on his chest.
Poor Mariah just isn't long for this competition. Pretty girl especially for a cyclops but just lacks the chops to go much farther. I do like her growl though. Did she just forget the words? If so ultimate sin. She's gonna entertain a lot of people at church on Sundays but not professional level.
Is it just me or has Jennifer been adding layers of make up at each commercial break.
Let me say 20th Duggar is just about the goofiest looking SOB around. If he pulls this off it will be the upset of the competition. That was a wormy ass handshake Jimmy whatshisname just gave Scotty. I still can't get over the way he two hands the mic. Seriously kid women on the strip two hand mics like that you should not. I feel like the standing ovation is he just got is like the applause at the Special Olympics. He's definitely has a Crash Test Dummies go Nashville style. Is that a good thing?
Winnie Cooper is up next. I hope she's not wearing a bad jumpsuit like last week. She looks a lot better than last week but looking at her is the only thing keeping me awake. This is one of my least favorite Stevie songs and she's doing nothing to make it better. She might win this whole thing because she's got the look and the voice but if Pia doesn't do something to create excitement she may just sleepwalk her way out of the competition. I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with what Jennifer is saying.
I dig Randy's cardigan style this season.
I've got to give Steven credit for not being asleep this week and for not wearing one of Betty White's jackets.
Things are about to get uncomfortable as Laser Teeth falls all over the stage. What I like about this guy is that he knows who he is. Thank God he's got a guitar tonight. I guess the counter weight keeps him from falling all over the stage. This is my favorite performance from Paul this season. It helps that it's also one of my favorite songs.
Whenever Randy asks someone if they had fun that means he's not sure how he feels about the performance.
Can they please outlaw Project Throwaway from wearing her awful creations? Great choice girl because America is full of people who love African dancing. I want her voted off for those pants alone. I didn't get the dancing thing but her singing was pretty good. Dammit.
If Liz Claiborne doesn't pick up Steven Tyler as their spokes model then they're both missing an opportunity here.
Curious George is going to close out the show with "Living for the City." Nothing I like more than listening to someone who nothing about life explain lyrics to a song like this classic Stevie tune. Jesus. Cheeeeeeesy performance and really bad when singing with the back up singers.
The performances overall were pretty good thanks to some great songs. Swishy was on a different planet from everyone else with his performance.
Bottom 3
Mariah
Stefano
20th Duggar
Say goodbye to Mariah and her nice legs.
ApeDonkey Power Rankings - 3/22/11
Top 5
1. Statutory Rape - Is anything hotter right now that statutory rape? Hank Moody was just convicted of statutory rape on Californication. Bill on Big Love faced the same charge before meeting his fate and now this week on Shameless Frank was essentially raped by a minor. In real life LT just got 6 years probation for sleeping with a 16 year old. And let's not forget the king of all statutory rape Roman Polanski. I'm telling you, statutory rape is white hot right now.
2. Jason Isbell - I finally was able to see Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit live this past weekend at Sam's Burger Joint in San Antonio. It was my first chance to catch him live since he left the Drive-By Truckers. Having now seen both Isbell and DBT since the split, I have to say that I think DBT miss Jason more than he misses them. DBT is still a great band and continues to produce terrific albums but they lost a key piece when Jason left. An outsiders perspective is that Patterson writes songs from his brain. Cooley writes from that old rock 'n roll staple the crotch. Jason's music seems to come from his hearth and soul though. He writes beautiful songs about life in the south, family and soul felt love songs.
The 400 Unit is an extremely tight band and Isbell has developed great chemistry with guitarist Browan Lollar. They traded licks and lead duties like partners of 20 years. The band ran through all of Isbell's best with the DBTs even kicking the show off with "Never Gonna Change" and mixing in the Jimi Hendrix classic "Stone Free" in the middle of the song. They didn't have a particularly long set because this was the third of three shows for them that day. Isbell and the band had played two shows at SXSW earlier in the day before heading over to play a nightcap in San Antonio. Even with the shortened show they hit on every song I was hoping for except for "Brand New Kind of Actress." They did a cover The Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer" with Lollar on vocals that rivaled the original. By the end of the show Isbell's throat was obviously trashed. He was having to use a throat spray between songs to keep going. Afterwards the guys stuck around to have drinks and mingle with fans. Great performers and terrific guys all around. I'm hoping Cactus Music can set up an in store performance when they come to Houston for Summerfest in June. You can bet the mortgage I'll be there.
3. Alamo Heights - Man these are my kind of people. They're old, grumpy as hell and have absolutely no patience for anyone. While I was in San Antonio last week, I found myself in this area on several occasions. On one occasion we stopped in Central Market to get a birthday cake for my son. In a normal supermarket situation people will say "excuse me" or something like that when they try to get by you, not these fossils. These old coots will just mow right through you and if they happen to take out one of your toes, well then that's your problem. Damned is the checker who doesn't get someone to the register for a carry out quick enough. Granny in her animal print shawl and heavy jewelry is about to drop some not so nice knowledge on your ass.
The middle aged residents are just as mean but fuck them. They haven't earned their right to let shit fly. I needed to take a different exit out of the parking lot so I decided to go down a one way because it was the only way for me to get where I needed. Just as I was turning out the one way a woman in her chromed out Escalade wanted to turn in and had to back up literally four feet for me to turn. Well holy shit! You would have thought she had to push her car out of the way. She threw it into reverse hammered the accelerator and jammed it back into drive. As I was driving past she rolled down her window to scream at me and call me a moron. Now I can't argue with someone calling me a moron because much of the time that's a good assessment. However, I happened to be in the car with my mother in law and kids and I've tried to shield my offspring from my moronic tendencies. My first instinct was to roll down my window and tell the bitch to go die in a grease fire (a favorite picked up from legendary red ass Stump). But since I didn't want to lose it in front of the kids and mother in law I let is slide.
4. Burnout Pete - I made a new friend at Sam's Burger Joint waiting for the Jason Isbell show to start. We never exchanged names but I've come to call him Burnout Pete. We talked for at least an hour about bands past and present. He's one of those guys who goes to five shows a week and since he lives in the hill country, he hits shows in Austin, San Antonio and Gruene. A conversation with Burnout Pete is kind of like what you'd expect talking to Tommy Chong is like. During our time together he called me "man" no less than 300 times. He still pumped about a Robin Trower show he'd recently been to and said Trower's show was as good now as it was when he saw him in '73. His wife was the spitting image of a blond hippie Angelica Huston. I tried to turn him on to using IConcerCal for keeping up with shows through iTunes but as soon as I said something I realized he probably had a vinyl music library and not a digital one. I hope I run in to Pete again sometime. That guy was cool and fun to talk to plus we still have some unresolved disagreements about The Band.
5. Kid Prophets - I've got nothing for number 5 so I'm going to leave you with my favorite quote by my 6 year old daughter from our trip to San Antonio. On our way to Kiddie Park which is as terrible as it sounds, read below, my kid drops this nugget on us "I'm gonna die on the horizon."
Bottom 5
1. Spring Break - I did a little research to find out who invented spring break. I needed someone to blame. Someone I could heap all my resentment and hatred upon year after year. Unfortunately, the idea isn't attributed to any one person so I have to blame the farmers and Easter for this week of Hell. At least according to wikipedia and google that's who I should blame. I've learned to deal with summer break. I start getting my mind ready in May. I play loops of screeching noises and loud screaming for a few weeks prior to the end of the school year and I'm set. Spring break always seems to sneak up on me though. And because it's one week of unexpected freedom the kids try to get out all of their horribleness in one nuclear blast of annoyingness. So how bad was this year? Let me see if this gives you any idea. By 10am on Monday morning, one kid have vomited chocolate milk all over my bedroom. While the other kid was in the throws of a monstrous fit because she was bored. It was only two hours in to spring break and she was already bored. If you think your week can possibly go well after a beginning like that then you're wrong.
2. On Court Stupidity - I'm getting the power rankings out so late this week the happenings in the NCAA basketball tournament are a bit out dated but the stupid fouls and plays in the Butler/Pitt and Texas/Arizona games are the things of legend. When Pitt was on the line to what seemed like steal victory from Butler I was writing a tweet that the boneheads on Pitt weren't above doing something stupid like fouling Butler right back. And before I could even hit send, they did it. Why would you even care about that rebound? There wasn't enough time to make any reasonable shot so at worst you were headed to overtime. Then my Longhorns decided they didn't want to be left out of the dumbass conversation. With 12 seconds left, the ball and a 2 point lead Jordan Hamilton called a timeout. The only option Arizona had at that point was to foul Hamilton but he let them off the hook and called a timeout. Hamilton is a good ball handler, a premier scorer and a 78% free throw shooter. Now it seems like he may have been coached to call a timeout and if so then the onus falls on Rick Barnes for blowing that game.
3. Big Love - I said my piece about the Big Love finale in a blog post earlier this week but they still make the bottom 5 for what was a very disappointing finale. So many great characters and story lines created through the years were thrown away with a thud. I've tried to rationalize the way the series ended over the past few days and I still can't find an excuse that makes it the correct ending. Sad way to close an excellent show.
4. Third World Cities - One of the best things about living in Texas is that we can visit third world cities without having to actually go to a third world country. Like I've already said, We visited family in San Antonio this past week and it's always a culture shock when we go. Everyone appears to be 10-15 years older than their actual age. Even if you don't take in the arts and museums of Houston, there's a level of sophistication and culture that is absent in San Antonio. If your kid happens to get sick while you're there like mine did, you're better off visiting a witch doctor or just taking them out back and giving them the old lame horse treatment than going to a clinic. They claim to have degrees but judging from their analysis and advice I'd rather trust my kid's health to a can of Dr. Pepper than these fruit cakes.
Even though I said I would never go to Kiddie Park again I found myself there on Thursday and they've found a way to up the horribleness by adding road construction to the equation to go along with the crack houses and throngs of pedders. If you didn't read my last review of this place let me reset what this is. Kiddie Park is a San Antonio "institution." Which means it's really old and run down. On our way there my kid asked me if we were close and I told her when she could smell hepatitis and tetanus then she'd know we were close. The only I allowed myself to touch while I was there were the antibacterial dispenser. I'm assuming my 2 year old isn't long for this world since I caught him licking the glass of one of the tchotchke dispensers. It cost ~$11 per kid to go and my 2 year old refused to ride anything so I actually paid them to give him a disease and nothing else. Luckily, the older kid will be too old to ride anything there the next time we come to town so hopefully my days in Hell are done.
5. Longhorn Fans - I went over the dumb time out by Jordan Hamilton at the end of the Arizona game but that's probably not the reason my fellow Longhorn fans gave for the loss. You probably heard about the short 5 second count. It was a short count and the way the ref responded to questions about it makes me hope he's never allowed to ref another NCAA game. And you've probably heard about the uncalled foul after J. Brown's missed final shot. I can't say there wasn't a foul. However, these aren't the reasons the Longhorns lost. All of these "judgement" calls would have been moot if that timeout isn't called and Hamilton doesn't miss both free throws. Or how about the Longhorns put together two good halves of basketball instead of digging themselves such a deep hole they were forced to play mistake free in the second half. Longhorn fans need to let the phantom and missed calls go. Even if the ref came out today and admitted his mistakes, they aren't putting anymore time back on the clock. The Horns are going to have another top 5-10 team again next season and maybe this time they won't implode down the stretch.
1. Statutory Rape - Is anything hotter right now that statutory rape? Hank Moody was just convicted of statutory rape on Californication. Bill on Big Love faced the same charge before meeting his fate and now this week on Shameless Frank was essentially raped by a minor. In real life LT just got 6 years probation for sleeping with a 16 year old. And let's not forget the king of all statutory rape Roman Polanski. I'm telling you, statutory rape is white hot right now. 2. Jason Isbell - I finally was able to see Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit live this past weekend at Sam's Burger Joint in San Antonio. It was my first chance to catch him live since he left the Drive-By Truckers. Having now seen both Isbell and DBT since the split, I have to say that I think DBT miss Jason more than he misses them. DBT is still a great band and continues to produce terrific albums but they lost a key piece when Jason left. An outsiders perspective is that Patterson writes songs from his brain. Cooley writes from that old rock 'n roll staple the crotch. Jason's music seems to come from his hearth and soul though. He writes beautiful songs about life in the south, family and soul felt love songs.
The 400 Unit is an extremely tight band and Isbell has developed great chemistry with guitarist Browan Lollar. They traded licks and lead duties like partners of 20 years. The band ran through all of Isbell's best with the DBTs even kicking the show off with "Never Gonna Change" and mixing in the Jimi Hendrix classic "Stone Free" in the middle of the song. They didn't have a particularly long set because this was the third of three shows for them that day. Isbell and the band had played two shows at SXSW earlier in the day before heading over to play a nightcap in San Antonio. Even with the shortened show they hit on every song I was hoping for except for "Brand New Kind of Actress." They did a cover The Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer" with Lollar on vocals that rivaled the original. By the end of the show Isbell's throat was obviously trashed. He was having to use a throat spray between songs to keep going. Afterwards the guys stuck around to have drinks and mingle with fans. Great performers and terrific guys all around. I'm hoping Cactus Music can set up an in store performance when they come to Houston for Summerfest in June. You can bet the mortgage I'll be there.
3. Alamo Heights - Man these are my kind of people. They're old, grumpy as hell and have absolutely no patience for anyone. While I was in San Antonio last week, I found myself in this area on several occasions. On one occasion we stopped in Central Market to get a birthday cake for my son. In a normal supermarket situation people will say "excuse me" or something like that when they try to get by you, not these fossils. These old coots will just mow right through you and if they happen to take out one of your toes, well then that's your problem. Damned is the checker who doesn't get someone to the register for a carry out quick enough. Granny in her animal print shawl and heavy jewelry is about to drop some not so nice knowledge on your ass.The middle aged residents are just as mean but fuck them. They haven't earned their right to let shit fly. I needed to take a different exit out of the parking lot so I decided to go down a one way because it was the only way for me to get where I needed. Just as I was turning out the one way a woman in her chromed out Escalade wanted to turn in and had to back up literally four feet for me to turn. Well holy shit! You would have thought she had to push her car out of the way. She threw it into reverse hammered the accelerator and jammed it back into drive. As I was driving past she rolled down her window to scream at me and call me a moron. Now I can't argue with someone calling me a moron because much of the time that's a good assessment. However, I happened to be in the car with my mother in law and kids and I've tried to shield my offspring from my moronic tendencies. My first instinct was to roll down my window and tell the bitch to go die in a grease fire (a favorite picked up from legendary red ass Stump). But since I didn't want to lose it in front of the kids and mother in law I let is slide.
4. Burnout Pete - I made a new friend at Sam's Burger Joint waiting for the Jason Isbell show to start. We never exchanged names but I've come to call him Burnout Pete. We talked for at least an hour about bands past and present. He's one of those guys who goes to five shows a week and since he lives in the hill country, he hits shows in Austin, San Antonio and Gruene. A conversation with Burnout Pete is kind of like what you'd expect talking to Tommy Chong is like. During our time together he called me "man" no less than 300 times. He still pumped about a Robin Trower show he'd recently been to and said Trower's show was as good now as it was when he saw him in '73. His wife was the spitting image of a blond hippie Angelica Huston. I tried to turn him on to using IConcerCal for keeping up with shows through iTunes but as soon as I said something I realized he probably had a vinyl music library and not a digital one. I hope I run in to Pete again sometime. That guy was cool and fun to talk to plus we still have some unresolved disagreements about The Band.5. Kid Prophets - I've got nothing for number 5 so I'm going to leave you with my favorite quote by my 6 year old daughter from our trip to San Antonio. On our way to Kiddie Park which is as terrible as it sounds, read below, my kid drops this nugget on us "I'm gonna die on the horizon."
Bottom 5
2. On Court Stupidity - I'm getting the power rankings out so late this week the happenings in the NCAA basketball tournament are a bit out dated but the stupid fouls and plays in the Butler/Pitt and Texas/Arizona games are the things of legend. When Pitt was on the line to what seemed like steal victory from Butler I was writing a tweet that the boneheads on Pitt weren't above doing something stupid like fouling Butler right back. And before I could even hit send, they did it. Why would you even care about that rebound? There wasn't enough time to make any reasonable shot so at worst you were headed to overtime. Then my Longhorns decided they didn't want to be left out of the dumbass conversation. With 12 seconds left, the ball and a 2 point lead Jordan Hamilton called a timeout. The only option Arizona had at that point was to foul Hamilton but he let them off the hook and called a timeout. Hamilton is a good ball handler, a premier scorer and a 78% free throw shooter. Now it seems like he may have been coached to call a timeout and if so then the onus falls on Rick Barnes for blowing that game. 
3. Big Love - I said my piece about the Big Love finale in a blog post earlier this week but they still make the bottom 5 for what was a very disappointing finale. So many great characters and story lines created through the years were thrown away with a thud. I've tried to rationalize the way the series ended over the past few days and I still can't find an excuse that makes it the correct ending. Sad way to close an excellent show.4. Third World Cities - One of the best things about living in Texas is that we can visit third world cities without having to actually go to a third world country. Like I've already said, We visited family in San Antonio this past week and it's always a culture shock when we go. Everyone appears to be 10-15 years older than their actual age. Even if you don't take in the arts and museums of Houston, there's a level of sophistication and culture that is absent in San Antonio. If your kid happens to get sick while you're there like mine did, you're better off visiting a witch doctor or just taking them out back and giving them the old lame horse treatment than going to a clinic. They claim to have degrees but judging from their analysis and advice I'd rather trust my kid's health to a can of Dr. Pepper than these fruit cakes.
Even though I said I would never go to Kiddie Park again I found myself there on Thursday and they've found a way to up the horribleness by adding road construction to the equation to go along with the crack houses and throngs of pedders. If you didn't read my last review of this place let me reset what this is. Kiddie Park is a San Antonio "institution." Which means it's really old and run down. On our way there my kid asked me if we were close and I told her when she could smell hepatitis and tetanus then she'd know we were close. The only I allowed myself to touch while I was there were the antibacterial dispenser. I'm assuming my 2 year old isn't long for this world since I caught him licking the glass of one of the tchotchke dispensers. It cost ~$11 per kid to go and my 2 year old refused to ride anything so I actually paid them to give him a disease and nothing else. Luckily, the older kid will be too old to ride anything there the next time we come to town so hopefully my days in Hell are done.
5. Longhorn Fans - I went over the dumb time out by Jordan Hamilton at the end of the Arizona game but that's probably not the reason my fellow Longhorn fans gave for the loss. You probably heard about the short 5 second count. It was a short count and the way the ref responded to questions about it makes me hope he's never allowed to ref another NCAA game. And you've probably heard about the uncalled foul after J. Brown's missed final shot. I can't say there wasn't a foul. However, these aren't the reasons the Longhorns lost. All of these "judgement" calls would have been moot if that timeout isn't called and Hamilton doesn't miss both free throws. Or how about the Longhorns put together two good halves of basketball instead of digging themselves such a deep hole they were forced to play mistake free in the second half. Longhorn fans need to let the phantom and missed calls go. Even if the ref came out today and admitted his mistakes, they aren't putting anymore time back on the clock. The Horns are going to have another top 5-10 team again next season and maybe this time they won't implode down the stretch.
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