Skins - "Chris" Review

“Do you want to know about the best day of my life?” - Chris

When discussing MTV’s remake of Skins it’s very difficult to not compare it to the British version. MTV makes it even harder when they do a shot for shot, beat for beat, line for line remake of the same episode. I really liked the “Tea” episode last week where they had to branch out and make some new story lines up. However, episodes like tonight just remind me of how inferior the cast of the American Skins is. Chris is my favorite character from the BBC version, so it’s especially tough to watch one of the finest pieces of acting from the previous show fall short in this version.

I applaud MTV for casting no name actors in all the roles, and Jesse Carere puts up a noble effort in this episode. Here we learn about why Chris is the way he is. His older brother, Peter, who was the father’s favorite, passed away and we learn that the father still resents Chris. Chris sought refuge in his father’s house after his mother left him. Chris delivers a great monologue in front of Peter’s grave to Daisy* in which he describes the best day of his life, which, of course, was about his older brother sticking up for him. But ultimately, I never felt complete compassion for Chris in the episode. He seemed more just like a screw up that takes Viagra and parties too hard. We need to see something redeeming in all of these characters or else the show falls flat.

*The relationship between Daisy and Chris seemed forced. They had barely interacted yet she was the one to go with Chris to his dad’s house. Curious.

I started to like Stanley more in this episode. We saw that he had a bit of a mind of his own tonight when he talked about investing his birthday money. That’s a departure from the BBC where the character did not have much smarts. I still think they’re trying hard to make Cadie seem crazy. You show crazy by how others react, not how you act. A bit lazy on the writers part.

My thoughts on Skins remains the same since the first episode. If the show is going to be successful, it needs to start finding a new life of its own, sooner rather than later.

Other thoughts:

• Stanley needs to get his hair out of his eyes
• Why could they only find one brown and one black shoe for Chris?
• Pretty sure Chris’s pee was two different colors.
• The homeless hipster sleeping in Chris’s tub is a great small role.
• We’ve missed the scene from the original where all the students walk in on the teacher naked. It really helped fuel Chris’s lust for what he can’t have.
• This was the episode that had people saying child pornography laws could be broken. Chris walks naked down the street and we see his backside exposed. It’s a non issue.

ApeDonkey Power Rankings - 1/31/11

Oscar nominations came out last week. Barry put together a great breakdown of the field last Tuesday. This week I'm dedicating the Power Rankings to Oscar's best and worst of the last 20 years. I spent most of the day trying to come up with the five best Oscar moments and I barely made it. On the other hand, I probably could have listed forty terrible Oscar moments.

Top 5

1. 1994 - Go back and look at the 67th Academy Awards; Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump, Quiz Show, The Shawshank Redemption, Four Weddings and a Funeral (possibly the last decent romantic comedy ever made). That's a Murder's Row of Best Picture nominees and that list doesn't include Ed Wood, The Madness of King George, Bullets Over Broadway and Heavenly Creatures. Don't believe me? Turn your TV to TBS. There's a 93% chance one of those movies is playing right now.

1994 was a renaissance year for film making at least it was for my generation. We had buried the 80's musically and were now ready to discard the action movies of the previous decade and return to a grittier, more cerebral and independent form of film making. Young directors Like Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson were putting out soon to be favorites Clerks and Bottle Rocket. We were ready to take the baton and if the previous generation wasn't ready to pass to us, we were going to take it.

2. Daniel Day-Lewis - He doesn't make many movies but when he does, he goes all in. Time and again Day-Lewis has proven to be one of the finest actors of this generation. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger slam dunk for Best Actor than Day-Lewis was for his portrayal of Daniel Plainview in the movie There Will Be Blood. Unless you count when he was nominated but inexplicably didn't win for Bill "The Butcher" Cutting for which he may have given a better performance than he did as Plainview. He has two Best Actor Oscars already and I'm going to go ahead and call my shot that he wins a third as Abraham Lincoln in 2012.

Where da coke & hookers?

3. Platoon - Platoon was the first "R" rated movie I was able to see in the theater. My parents took me to see the movie on my 15th birthday. My dad was a Vietnam Vet but I didn't really understand what that meant until I saw this movie. This was the first time I saw how profoundly a movie could affect someone. There were several vets in the theater that day and the great majority of them sat there in silence as the closing credits rolled; many with tear running down their cheeks. I remember the theater was completely silent until finally one vet said "that was a great movie until that Jane Fonda shit at the end." I'll never forget that day or what it taught me about the power of film.

4. In Memoriam - I'm a sucker for this presentation every year. It's by far my favorite part of the show every year. Even last year when I couldn't watch it live and then lost interest when I hear that no talent Sandra Bullock had won Best Actress, I still fast forwarded to this segment to have my one Oscar moment. I don't remember who died this year but damn, I can't wait to find out.

5. Streisand Snub? - Does anyone else remember in 1992 when Hollywood was up in arms over Barbra Streisand not being nominated in the Best Director category for Prince of Tides? Well the truth is it wasn't a snub. The movie just wasn't that good. Yeah it had some of the things the academy loves like a tear jerking story, mental illness and child abuse but the movie kind of sucked. Thank God the academy didn't fall prey to their sentimental tendencies. Instead they kept reserved those tendencies for the supporting acting categories.



Bottom 5

1. 1994 - As I've discussed, 1994 was a great year for movies. However, it was also a year the academy got nearly everything wrong. Apparently, The Shawshank Redemption directed itself because Frank Durabont didn't sniff a Best Director nomination. Johnny Depp (Ed Wood), Ralph Fiennes (Quiz Show) and Tim Robbins (The Shawshank Redemption) not being nominated almost seems criminal looking back. By the way, Tom Hanks' one note performance as Forrest Gump was at best the fifth best that year.

The most egregious of all academy oversights, possibly in its history, neither Crumb nor Hoop Dreams were nominated for Best Documentary. If you've never seen them, first of all, what's wrong with you but secondly they are two of the best documentaries ever made. Forget Best Documentary, Hoop Dreams should have been nominated for Best Picture. The high school basketball documentary won more awards outside of the academy than any other film made that year and topped Gene Siskel's movies of the year list. If you have the time google Roger Ebert's story on how those movies were overlooked. It's appalling and ultimately led to the academy changing its selection process.

2. Best Picture - There have been several terrible choices for Best Picture; Crash, The English Patient, A Beautiful Mind and Titantic all come to mind. However, the biggest travesty in the Best Picture category happened at the 71st Academy Awards when Shakespeare in Love took home the award over Saving Private Ryan. Shakespeare was a good movie, a great movie even but Saving Private Ryan was a transcendent historical epic that had all the elements of a Best Picture. I was pissed for weeks about this selection. For years, anytime someone would bring up either movie I would go off on a vitriol filled rant against the academy. Hell, I'm getting pissed right now thinking about it. Let's just move on.

3. Best Actress - Best Actress is one of those categories where the academy consistently makes terrible choices. I've come to the conclusion that the voters are more swayed by media hype in this category than any other. I also don't think they're smart enough to discern between the way an actress looks and how she acts.

True story (maybe), Katherine Hepburn was such a strong, spirited woman, her doctors believe she would live to be about 110 years old. However in 2001 when she saw Julia Roberts beat out Ellen Burstyn in the Best Actress category, she told a confidant her life's work had lost all meaning. Two years later she was dead.

Flash forward nine years to the 82nd Academy Awards. I don't know if you remember but they had to abruptly cut to a commercial towards the end of Sandra Bullock's thank you speech. Why? Well rumor has it as Bullock was wrapping up her speech, Katherine Hepburn's zombie burst through the floor attacking Bullock and shouting "YOU WILL NOT DESECRATE MY LEGACY!" Moments later security gunned down the undead Kate and the show continued as if nothing happened. I believe if you really want to see the footage, it's on Faces of Death vol. 37.

Bullocks performance wasn't even worthy of a nomination much less a win. Of the other nominees, I would have placed her behind Streep's Julia Child and I thought that performance sucked. Any number of actresses could have pulled off that part with little difficulty. Ugh, this may be a bigger travesty than Shakespeare in Love and Hoop Dreams combined.

4. Supporting Actor/Actress - If Best Actress has been driven by media hype, then the supporting category(s) have been ruled by sentiment and buffoonery. Whoopi (Ghost) over Annette Bening (Grifters), Jack Palance (City Slickers), Marisa Tomei (My Cousin Vinny) and Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) were all terrible winners. The worst though was Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive) walking away with the award in a category loaded with some of the best performances of any year. Ralph Fiennes as Amon Goth in Schindler's List would have been my choice but any of the other three nominees, Leonardo DiCaprio (What's Eating Gilbert Grape), Pete Postlethwaite (In the Name of the Father), John Malkovich (In the Line of Fire) would have been a more deserving winner than Jones.

5. Lord of the Rings - Don't be fooled by the title, I don't LOTR doesn't belong in the bottom 5 but the academy waiting until the last movie was released to finally present them with the accolades they so richly deserved is a bottom 5er. A Beautiful Mind and Ron Howard better than Fellowship? Ridiculous. Peter Jackson who was nominated for Best Director for Fellowship of the Ring and Return of the King wasn't nominated for the middle movie The Two Towers. The movies were shot all at the same time. Did he forget how to direct midway through then rediscover his mojo? Whatever. The most disconcerting part is that all the awards were heaped on Return of the King which in my opinion is the least effective of all the films.

Episodes Review

Episodes has an inherent struggle. How do you make a show about the creation of a show interesting AND funny? This episode provided the blueprint on how to do that. Less time spent on the creation of show and more time spent developing the relationship between Matt LeBlanc and the Lincolns. The extended scene between the Lincolns and LeBlanc in the bar was perhaps the best scene so far in the show. With LeBlanc getting drunk, he was finally able to voice his opinion on Besty, errrr, Beverly. It really allowed their relationship to grow and the schadenfreude Beverly feels finally allows her to have compassion on Matt and invite him into their home. In order for Episodes to be successful, I think it will rest on the likability of the interactions between Matt and the Lincolns.

This was a very strong Episode for LeBlanc. He played downtrodden drunk with bursts of levity quite well. I especially liked when he was explaining why he lost his kids. It’s a very drunk thing to try and justify your transgressions, so when he exclaimed, “She was already in the house! It shouldn’t have counted!” I had to laugh out loud. I was also moved to laughter when Matt was so candid about the nature of his relationship with Kendra. “We f*ck once in a while.”

Random Thoughts:
You’d think the Lincolns would have a better car than a Mustang.
I hope we stay away from drama about Beverly being jealous of Sean and the attention he gets on the set from women. I don’t buy it.
I miss Kathleen Rose Perkins as Carol already. She was my favorite part of early episodes.
Cup stacking is impressive.

What are your thoughts on Episodes? Is the show moving in a better direction than when it started?

Shameless - "Casey Casden" Review

“They’re having a party across the street. For Kids. No booze. What’s the point?” - Frank

When it comes to watching Shameless it becomes about identifying with the Gallaghers. If you can identify with some or any of the characters, you can appreciate the show. I appreciate the show. I appreciate the show. I understand the struggle to make ends meet and working hard to get what you need. However, what I hadn’t understood was the lack of desire to better themselves. It wasn’t until this episode where I first heard Fiona utter a sentiment about the desire to improve their situation. In a moment of exhaustion she said, “I hope I’m not fucking up the kids.” This is the first instance where I felt that honestly Fiona wanted to better their situation.

As for the specific story of this week’s episode it was nice to have a self contained episodic plot line. Girl steals baby, Galaghers make a plan, Gallaghers execute plan, Gallaghers get rewarded. Hold on. Gallaghers get rewarded? They stole a baby and lied about it. Yet they end up getting rewarded? Correct. The writers do a brilliant job of painting them in a sympathetic light that we forgive the transgression and cheer the outcome. It’s a curious dynamic the writers have initiated.

Two of my favorite characters on the show since the start have been Kevin and Veronica. It’s nice to see that the show is about to tip in the direction of their soon to be marriage. I found this story line a bit strange because we hadn’t figured out the story with Steve and Fiona, but I guess we are to just assume that that worked out. I predict we’ll see less and less of Tony when it comes to Fiona’s love life.

I’m still not into Frank as a lead character. I don't know what he adds, and I certainly didn’t understand the seduction of him by Lip’s girlfriend. I hope he starts to play a part in the evolution of the family or else I see no point for his character, but I don’t see the show getting rid of them, and thus I feel the show is will be stuck in neutral.
So what do we want from the Gallaghers? Do we want them to better themselves? Or do we just want them to survive and be happy? I think these questions will start to answer themselves in the coming episodes.

Random Thoughts:

-Why was the baby dressed in a Superman costume?
-Hardly any Liam in this episode. Weird considering the whole last epsiode was about him and finding a new fake girlfriend.
-I hope we get more of Veronica’s mom. She seems like a party.
-I guess we won’t be privy to the conversation where Fiona and Steve get back together,
-Looking forward to Mac’s mom from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia being on next week’s episode.

What are your thoughts on the Gallagher’s situation?

Big Love "Certain Poor Shepards" - 1/30/11 *spoilers*

Honestly, I thought that rendition of the Hokey Poky was a bit too risque for those innocent little Mormon kids.

Here's the biggest issue I see with polygamy, shit gets confusing and the next thing you know everything is twisted. All Bill wants to do is buy his lovely wives pistols for Christmas and instead he finds out he's a statutory rapist who's married to wanna be priestess alcoholic and his momma has gone total bat shit crazy. Santa ain't gonna answer that drive thru box no matter how long you talk to it. 

Either Bill is the most obtuse individual on the planet or he's totally trying to God block Barb. She obviously wants her voice in the family's spiritual life but Bill isn't allowing it. My prediction is this is the issue that ultimately drives them apart.

Oh Margene, if there was one person on television that was going to get caught up in a pyramid scheme, it's Michael Scott. But if there's two it's Michael Scott and Margene. That whole scene seemed there just to set up a future revelation concerning the neighbors marital problems. I don't know why we should care about them but apparently the writers think we should. Margene's bigger problem was her own revelation that she was only 16 when she married Bill. Normally that's a little too old for these polygamist guys but Bill thinks this might hurt his Senator hood. He's probably right. Is the show going to end before he gets sworn in? Just asking. Seems like it's been a long time. Bill's got a fight brewing in the State House and marrying underage girls isn't going to help. However, a bigger issue than marrying underage girls is his creepy Henrickson live nativity scene in his front yard. What was that?

I'm a big proponent of more Alby. The guy is pure gold on screen. I mean who doesn't love a guy who kills dogs, threatens his mom and dooms one of his wives to eternal damnation? If I'm running the show, I say to hell with this dumb Senator story let's got to war between Bill and Alby. Surely they could fill the last half dozen or so episodes. I'm worried they've opened up too many stories to do them all justice before the series finale in March.

Overall, good episode but they need to start tightening up some of the story lines before they star careening out of control like Alby at a Thunder from Down Under show.

By the way, I like what the tribe has done with the casino.

Californication "Monkey Business" - 1/30/11 *spoilers*

I've always been of the opinion anytime you can add Fisher Stevens to your show, you do it. If you can add Fisher Stevens and his first diamond hard erection since the first Clinton term, you do it twice. Well, looks the Californication producers don't agree with the second part of that philosophy but at least we got him tonight. And he was outstanding as eccentric billionaire Zig, who apparently lives a very similar life as the Direct TV Russian billionaire, minus the mini giraffe.

Mean while the ladies were hosting band practice for Becca's new band. The band led by Pearl, whose poppa looks to be the new love interest for Karen. Here's to her finding her new true love and moving far away. It turns out all the signs were correctly pointing to Marcy being pregnant. That storyline doesn't interest me at all but Pamela Aldon will make me care only because she brings it every week.

The show as a whole is can go one of two ways. Either they get back to the core of Hank is a writer with demons and shit happens because he can't control his dick. Or they continue down the path they've started down where ridiculous but occasionally funny shit happens but for the most part it's completely out of the realm of believability. Honestly, I'm willing to go either way at this point. I just want more Fisher Stevens.

The Social Network

Certain films or moments in films are truly inspiring. You can't watch Kenneth Branagh deliver the St. Crispin's Day speech in Henry V without wanting to go out and kill French people. Braveheart will make you punch someone with a British accent in the mouth. The Social Network is this kind of movie. As soon as the closing credits began to roll, I wanted to log on and delete my Facebook account. Don't worry, I was able to fight the urge. I didn't think it was fair to punish my Facebook friends by depriving them of my genius just because Mark Zuckerberg is apparently one of the indubitably great dickheads of our generation.


I've always looked at Jesse Eisenberg as a slightly darker version of Michael Cera, geeky, awkward and typically funny. For the role of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, Eisenberg is able to manifest these qualities into a real individual capable of brilliant accomplishments. I've never seen an interview with Zuckerberg so I don't know how accurate the portrayal is but I also don't think it matters. Andrew Garfield is very good as co-founder Eduardo Saverin and his relationship with girlfriend Christy provides some much needed levity during a very heavy point in the movie. I was stunned when I found out the Winklevoss twins were both played by Armie Hammer. I never once thought that wasn't a set of twins playing the role. I've heard people complain about Justin Timberlake not receiving an Oscar bid for his portrayal of Sean Parker but I thought he was just good, nothing spectacular about his performance.

It only takes the opening scene to realize David Fincher isn't going to be telling a triumph of the nerds type of story. Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin use court deposition sessions to tell the story of Facebook's creation. It's a story as relevant today as Wallstreet was to the 80's yuppie culture. In today's creative culture, the ownership of intellectual property is as important as owning the factory. What constitutes ownership and the ethics involved are as much a part of this story as the writing of the actual code. Lines get blurry in today's society where face to face conversations and phone calls have been replaced by text messages and email. Everyone wanted to be the smartest guy in the room but the only way to tell the score was by who had the money. 

The Social Network is slick and beautifully made. It tells a compelling story but in the end I wasn't left feeling as though I'd seen something special. That's not an insult to the movie. The story was told about as well as it could have been. Ultimately, the film and story just lacked the WOW/Oh My God moment or dynamic Gordon Gecko character a movie needs to make the jump from very good to great.

ApeDonkey 174 - Netflix Reviews 1/27/11

 I'm always looking for good or interesting movies I've never heard of to add to my Netflix queue. This week I'm reviewing two movies recommended by friends on twitter. If you have a movie you think I might like send it my way through twitter or the comments of the blog. The only limitation is that I don't watch horror movies. I'm a big freaking wimp when it comes to horror and they give me bad dreams. OK on with the movies.


The Way We Get By - See it - The Way We Get By is a very well done documentary about a group of senior citizens in Bangor, Maine. As the first airport encountered heading towards the United States from Europe and the last heading out, Bangor is a major stopping point for a great majority of US military flights bringing troops home from the war in Iraq or their last stop in the US when they ship out. This group of seniors goes out to meet and greet every flight transporting troops to and from the war. Through their efforts to make these brave men and women feel appreciated and welcomed, they discover a new purpose in the twilight of their own lives. It's an excellent and very touching documentary.

Bus 174 - Must See - This is an incredible documentary about the hijacking of a bus in Rio by Sandro do Nascimento. Sandro got on the bus with the intention of robbing the passengers but when the police were alerted the robbery escalated to a hostage situation. The filmmakers were able to get tremendous footage of the incident because the Rio police absolutely suck at sealing off a crime scene. The documentary uses the Sandro's hijacking to throw a spotlight on Brazil's social issues with the substantial street kid population. The movie gets inconceivably tense as the hijacker grows more and more volatile. You need to check Bus 174 out. Thanks for the recommendation @lancezierlein.

Salt - Skip it - I believe Angelina Jolie has now played a spy/special agent more times now than Sean Connery and Roger Moore combined. I was pretty intrigued by this spy flick for the first 20 minutes. The movie starts out with a spy exchange between the United States and North Korea involving Angelina Jolie's character Agent Salt. Fast forward an undetermined amount of time and Agent Salt is called in to interrogate a Russian spy. Up to this point the movie seems reasonable and interesting. Then comes one of the more ridiculous high speed chase scenes in cinematic history. Once Agent Salt starts jumping from overpasses and trucks traveling 70mph I realized instead of Spy Game or The Bourne Trilogy, I was in the middle of Wanted 2: The CIA Years.

 I get the escapism aspect of movies and I understand that the suspension of reality is a huge part of that. However, you have to base your story either in the reality we all live in or a hyper reality where humans are able to perform incredible feats. The issue with Salt is that it tries to live in both worlds and that lack of commitment destroys any notion of believability.

Julien Donkey-Boy - See it - This was a recommendation from @ryanlostintx, another excellent follow on twitter. Actually, I'm not sure he recommended it. He just asked me if I'd ever seen it and any movie featuring Werner Herzog and with Donkey in the title is going to get watched. My opinion on the movie is that it's more interesting than entertaining but that's kind of what you're looking for from Harmony Korine. He's an artist that happens to make films and this is no different. Julien Donkey-Boy is his vision of what life is like for a schizophrenic. He based the title character off his own uncle who suffers from schizophrenia. Everything about the movie is weird and uncomfortable, from the way it's shot on video with a hand held camera to the way these family members coexist. If you decide to watch it I highly recommend the making of special feature on the DVD.

Academy Awards

I've got a wife and young kids so I just don't make it out to the movies much anymore. The Academy Awards nominations came out this morning and I think I've seen one of the nominees. Therefore, I couldn't possibly provide a good opinion on how the Oscars will shake out. Fortunately for me and you, Barry Stagg offered to write a post on the nominations. Here's what I know about Barry. He has a theater degree & opinions and he's not afraid to use either. Barry's also a great follow on twitter (@bcstagg), so make sure you do that.

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I am a self proclaimed Academy Awards fanatic. I see every movie nominated for Best Picture and each movie with an acting nomination. This normally wasn’t too difficult, but with the field expanding to 10 movies for Best Picture it became more difficult. Some people are mad the field expanded because they feel it’s just a ploy to try and boost ticket sales. Those people are 100 percent correct. I, however, do not begrudge the Academy. As long as movies like The Green Hornet and Little Fockers are leading in the box office, I am in full support of rallying the public to see quality films.

As I set out to pick the winners of the major categories, the voting process for determining the winners should be noted. After expanding to 10 films, the Best Picture winner is graded on a points system. Meaning 10 points for 1st place and 1 point for for 10th place. Most points wins. The Academy used to only allow voters one first place vote and most votes wins. I prefer the current system. All that in mind, let’s get to the picks.

Best Picture

Will win: The King’s Speech - Really picked up steam by getting the Producer’s Guild Award for Best Picture. This movie is a clinic in acting. Great all the way around, but doesn’t leave you with that “wow” feeling you want from your Best Picture.

My Favorite: Black Swan - This movie had that “wow” feeling. I was completely engrossed in the portrayal. Aronofsky combines the visceral feelings from Requiem for a Dream, the stunning visuals of The Fountain, and the great story telling of The Wrestler to make, what I think, is his best film.

Sleeper: The Social Network - Hard to call this a sleeper because it’s thought to be the odds on favorite. It will win Best Director and Screenplay, so it wouldn’t shock me if it ended up winning Best Picture.

Best Actress

Will win: Natalie Portman, Black Swan - Just brilliant. Her performance also has things that Academy voters love to vote for. She lost weight, she trained in ballet, and she played crazy.

My Favorite: Natalie Portman, Black Swan - It just makes me mad when I see a performance like Portman’s to think that Sandra Bullock won for The Blindside. Ugh.

Sleeper: Annette Benning, The Kids Are All Right - Gives a great understated performance. It would have been easy for her to miss the control it takes to pull off that character, but she kept it together just enough to make it stunningly believable.

Best Actor

Will Win: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech - Firth so brilliantly portrays the Duke of York. His stammer is spot on and almost gets uncomfortable to watch because his ability to communicate is so difficult. Firth’s brilliance is shown in his ability to still carry a scene and tell a great story while having the inherent hinderance of his character’s speech impediment.

My Favorite: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech - It helps when you have Geoffrey Rush to play opposite against.

Sleeper: James Franco, 127 Hours - Franco WAS 127 Hours. 127 Hours is a Best Picture nominee and he’s 90 percent of the movie. Franco captivates you. A brilliant one man show. (I wish we got a little more Lizzy Caplan in 127 Hours though.)

Best Supporting Actor

Will Win: Christian Bale, The Fighter - Probably the best performance on screen this year. And, he plays a drug addict. The Academy loves that. He also lost weight. Nothing like what he did for The Machinist, but he’s pretty thin.

My Favorite: Christian Bale, The Fighter - He gets points in my book for wearing cleats as shoes and “jorts” at different points throughout the movie.

Sleeper: Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech - It’s unfortunate he has to go up against Bale this year because he was great to watch work on screen. Had the difficult task of communicating with a character who has a debilitating speech impediment.

Best Supporting Actress

Will Win: Melissa Leo, The Fighter - Her performance reminds me a lot of Amy Ryan’s in Gone Baby Gone. Makes herself unlikeable, but yet somehow you care for her. And the sympathy she gains is what makes her performance great.

My Favorite: Amy Adams, The Fighter - I’ve been an Amy Adams fan since Junebug. I just love this adorable red head. Her exchanges with Melissa Leo and the sisters are particularly great.

Sleeper: Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit - She had a very tall task playing against Jeff Bridges, but she did so swimmingly. In a movie where character exchanges drove the movie, she was a large part of a lot of them.

Best Director

Will Win: David Fincher, The Social Network - Somehow he managed to turn the creation of Facebook into a thrilling story. He also got great performances out his actors, which can be difficult with the snappy wordy dialogue of Aaron Sorkin.

My Favorite: Danny Boyle, 127 Hours - One man shows don’t often captivate a movie going audience (see Phone Booth), but Boyle was really great a telling a gripping story. He used his score brilliantly and got the best out of Franco. Shame he wasn’t even nominated, though I knew he didn’t have a chance.

Sleeper: Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech - King’s Speech was beautifully shot and was a lesson in story telling. (If you can’t tell, I have a very Aristotelian point of view in that plot/story is paramount).

Best Screenplay(Original)

Will Win: The King’s Speech - Behind all great movies and great performances there has to be great source material. The King’s Speech is no exception. It gave all those wonderful actors plenty to sink their teeth into.

My Favorite: Black Swan - As a member of the entertainment industry, I was especially drawn to the subject matter. It’s not too far from reality. This is a snub, in my opinion. Another Year snatched the fifth spot.

Sleeper: The Kids Are All Right - This is just one of those movies that paid attention to every character, made them rich, and told a nice even story. You really can’t poke any holes in the screenplay.

Best Screenplay(adapted)

Will Win: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network - It helps that he had a lot of the complicated and tedious research done for him by Ben Mezrich, but kudos for weaving those elements into a great story.

My Favorite: The Social Network - In 2009 Aaron Sorkin came to where I work and gave an interview after one of our performances of The Farnsworth Invention, which he wrote. There he said he was busy working on a “Facebook movie.” I remember laughing to myself and thinking how bad it was going to be. I was wrong. Point - Sorkin.

Sleeper: Winter’s Bone - Sundance’s darling was the big winner this year, snagging a Best Picture nomination over The Town and a Best Supporting Actor nomination over Andrew Garfield of The Social Network. So it wouldn’t surprise me if it up and snagged a screenplay win while it was at it. 

Best Score

Will Win: Trent Reznor, The Social Network - I believe this one to be a lock. Trent Reznor’s score deserves as much praise as Fincher’s directing and Sorkin’s writing, if not more. It really drove the movie and made it thrilling.

My Favorite: Trent Reznor, The Social Network - I would have liked to have seen him have Justin Timberlake lay down a hook on something, but then again, he’s the one nominated not me.

Sleeper: A.R. Rahman, 127 Hours - Rahman is best known for his score to Slumdog Millionaire, but he teamed up with snubbed director Danny Boyle again this year to deliver another dynamite product.

Notable Snubs

• The Town for Best Picture. I’m pretty upset at this one. This was a fantastic movie that had great performances and a lot of heart for what I thought was just going to be a heist flick. I’m getting more impressed with Ben Affleck every day.
• Christopher Nolan for directing Inception. Say what you will about the movie, but the prowess of Nolan can’t be overstated.
• Ryan Gosling for Blue Valentine. I don’t see how you can nominate Michelle Williams and not Ryan Gosling. Gosling delivers an absolutely powerful and gritty performance. Real acting on full display. His performances in Blue Valentine and Half Nelson are two of the best.
• Black Swan for Best Original Screenplay. Seemed to be poised for a nomination especially with its Writer’s Guild nomination in the bag. Another Year must be a pretty good movie to push out Swan.
• Mila Kunis for Best Supporting Actress. I can’t say I’m too surprised here, but she had the SAG nomination and and a lot of press. Plus she’s beautiful, and I like that in a girl.
• Andrew Garfield for Best Supporting Actor. I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t see Justin Timberlake as a nominee, but I was equally as sad to see Garfield left off. However, John Hawkes was particularly awesome as Teardrop in Winter’s Bone. This category is the most loaded this year.
• Danny Boyle for Best Director. With Nolan getting snubbed, I was hoping Boyle would step in and grab a nomination but that went to David O. Russell or the Coen Brothers

Who are your winners?

What are your biggest snubs or surprises?

ApeDonkey Power Rankings - 1/24/11

Top 5

1. The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness - Parks and Recreation returned last week and I know if you're smart enough to read this blog then you already watch P&R. If for some unfathomable reason you don't watch then you need to fix that. Immediately. This week the worlds greatest government employee, Ron Swanson revealed the foundation on which every life should be built, The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. There is so much good and victory in here I almost feel unworthy to receive it. Go ahead, take a look, print it out and hang it on your wall. You'll be better for it.

2. Twitter - If you're reading this, I assume you're already on twitter. But if not, you really should be and this past Sunday is a perfect example why. Twitter was made for events like NFL playoff games. You find you some good follows and your Sunday football tradition just improved seven fold. Between Cutler quitting, gambling degenerates gripping and Rashard Mendenhall Rapisbergering Big Ben twitter was exploding with comedic genius. If comedy isn't your thing but you just want to get more insight into the game, Adam Caplan, John Harris and Rob Rang do a great job of breaking down the game and players. If you want opinions not necessarily on the X's & O's but rather the circumstances surrounding the game then Gregg Doyle, Dan Wetzel and Jason Whitlock are your guys. Or if you're nearsighted and can't see all the way to the television but you want to know what is going on in the Texans game then John McClain will be there to regurgitate the play that just happened. If you're lucky he'll also drop a little Texans propaganda in your lap as well. What I'm trying to say is no matter your situation twitter makes watching football better.

3. Nose Pickers - Look I'm not going disparage anyone for nose picking. When it come to rhino digging I'm world class. I'm a big fat guy but I have these tiny narrow nostrils. So, I have to spend a great deal of time clearing the air passages. However, I bow in respect to the guy I saw in Shipley's donuts the other day. In fact, I slow clap in respect to his brazenness. There he was in the middle of the busy donut shop taking nose picking to a new level. As he stood there cork screwing a napkin in to one nostril then the next and then back again, I knew there was a higher plain of picking I had yet to achieve. I salute you my friend. I only hope to inspire others the way you have inspired me. God Bless.

4. Aaron Rodgers - This time last week the guy was getting killed for snubbing a cancer patient and now he is one victory away from winning the greatest championship in the world. And yes World Series the Lombardi trophy trumps you. We now know the perceived snubbing of a cancer survivor was blown way out of proportion. Hell I had a little fun with this perception myself on twitter. The truth is Rodgers does a lot of charitable work for cancer patients and is widely considered a good guy. He stepped into the very difficult role of replacing a legend like the old dongslinger but he's improved every year and is now considered one of the premier quarterbacks in the league. I'll be pulling for the Pack when they play the Steelers in two weeks because I've liked the Packers since the Lynn Dickey/James Lofton days and if given a choice I prefer to not root for a person accused of sexual assault.

5. Perseverance of the Human Spirit -Some where in Houston there's a woman whose husband has left her alone with five kids this week. She is in a constant battle with raging hormones, sleep deprivation and poor grammar by her kids. She prays daily that she's able to hold it together until her valiant husband is able to make his way back to her. Though her nerves may be frayed she perseveres. Because she knows some where out there, there's a rock star that dedicates songs to her and she will make her husband take her to see that rock star a couple months from now. Keep it together Nicole.


Bottom 5

1. Jay Cutler - I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Jay Cutler didn't have a very good day yesterday. His play was bad, not Jake Delhomme bad but bad none the less. Sonny Liston thought his "injury" seemed kind of fishy. And now he's got Bears fans burning his jersey. Someone could really use a reset button. I think Bears fans might want to slow down though. Yeah Cutler likes to pout and through pity parties on the sidelines but have you already forgotten the list of QBs you guys have had since McMahon and Ditka were patrolling the sidelines? I'll give you a partial list just off the top of my head. Stop me when I get to the QB you like better than Cutler: Erik Kramer, Rex Grossman, Peter Tom Willis, Jim Harbaugh (the QB version not the coach), Doug Flutie, Mike Tomczak, Jim Miller, Cade McNown. Is that enough or do I need to keep going? What I'm trying to say is you finally have a guy with some talent. Yeah he's got issues between the ears but he also made strides this year. I'd cut him a little slack. You've got the rest of your lives to hold this game against him.

2. What's left of Al Davis - This is one of those situations where a picture is worth a thousand words. It may also be worth a thousand winces too.

3. Winter Sports Doldrums - Everyone talks about the dog days of summer after the NBA has ended their season and before football is ready to start over again but I find the winter sports doldrums to be much worse. Two weeks from today the football season will officially be in our rear view and all that will be on the table is basketball. Baseball will still be nearly two months away and March Madness more than six weeks. I'm sure it depends on your preference between baseball and basketball as to which down time leaves you more wanting but at least in the summer you can get out and find things to do. The dreary winter weather is far less accommodating. Maybe I'll turn my attention to something other than sports. Is there something other than sports? I'll have to get back to you on that.

4. Modern Family -The writing on Modern Family has been pretty disappointing this season and this past week's episode was the lowest point yet. It was as if the writers discovered Three's Company while watching Nick at Nite and just adapted one of those scripts to fit MF. You know the one where there's a misunderstanding between Jack, Chrissy and the Ropers. If anyone read all the hype from last season and decided to start watching Community and Modern Family this season, they'd think we were all crazy for putting these two shows on the same level. Community has actually managed to improve this season while MF has taken a step back.

5. The End of the World as I Know It (And I Feel Fine) - On March 8, 2011 R.E.M. will release their new album (that's an old school term for a collection of songs for all you youngins) Collapse into Now and I won't be heading to the store to buy it. This marks the end of a very long and enjoyable relationship between the boys from Athens, Georgia and myself. I have everything the band has ever released and many things they haven't. I've read several books on the band and a chronicling of the making of their first album but this relationship just isn't working for me anymore. It all started to fall apart when Bill Berry left the band in 1997 and the release of their last great album, New Adventures in Hi-Fi the previous year. The subsequent releases have failed to live up to the quality I expect from R.E.M. and rarely get played anymore. There are a few songs like Imitation of Life that make it into the rotation but not many.  I still plan to see them live whenever they come to town because they continue to be an outstanding live act. I just have lost my desire to hear new music from the guys. I have a retrospective review of all their releases in the works. In preparation for that post and to mark this sad occasion I've spent the past couple of days listening exclusively to their catalog. If I can ever finish this 80's movie post I'll get to working on my R.E.M. love fest.

Sunday Night TV - 1/23/11

Big Love

The lesson this week is more Barb, Nikki and Margene and less of Bill is a good thing. The relationships between the sister wives has always been the more compelling that whatever scheme Bill is working on. Bill gets to run around and stir up a hornets nest but it's his wives that have to suffer the stings. Barb's walk on the wild side, well the wild side for a Mormon housewife, has been refreshing and a much needed turn for her character. As viewers we've been deprived her story. The story of how Bill re-embracing the principle after many years of marriage has affected her as a woman and her relationships with her family. We knew her family disapproved and relationships were strained but the scars never seemed to be revealed.

Equally refreshing is the maturation of Nikki. She was always too much of a two dimensional character, petulant and predictable in her stubbornness. Now that she is raising her teenage daughter and has turned her back on Juniper Creek, she is evolving into a more complete character ready to reveal the damage growing up on a polygamist compound has done.

I'm of the opinion that Margene should take Bill up on his offer to let her leave the family. One thing the last two seasons have revealed is that She is not going to be happy long term kept in her cage raising kids and waiting for Bill to come home. Her personality is too big for that life and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for her to go on a self realization journey with Ana.

One more item, we need more Alby. No one brings the creepy like him and we need that.


Californication

This weeks episode had two highlights. First we found out producer Stu Beggs is "rich as fuck and hung like a moose." Then the episode closes with Hank finally getting around to writing the "Fucking & Punching" screenplay. In between was a collection of disjointed, out of character scenes that really took us no where.

There is no denying Hank is a poon chasing dog but he does possess a certain integrity that makes him using an assumed suicide attempt to get back into Karen's good graces unbelievable. I think Karen has become a huge problem for the writers. She should have been written off the show after season two but for whatever reason continues to hang around LA. I understand the convenience having a plot tool of you're lead character hung up on his "sole mate" is, but has Karen ever done anything to show us why Hank would be obsessed with her? And having a child together isn't enough. There's very little chemistry between the two. She has yet to reveal a quality about her character that would draw a dynamic person like Hank to her. And worst of all, she's just boring. With the series being picked up for a fifth season, I'm hoping season four finds a way to finally put the death knell in the Hank/Karen relationship.


Episodes

The good news is that each episode has improved on the one before it. The bad news is that Episodes still isn't a good show. I haven't checked my "all holidays" calendar but Sunday must have been Big Dick Day on Showtime. Not only did we find out about Stu Beggs moose like qualities on Californication but much of this week's Episodes revolved around what the Lord has blessed Matt LeBlanc with in penis department. I do know it's going to take more than LeBlanc's giant cock to keep me tuning in past next week. I've been more patient with Episodes than I probably should have but the show is looking like a lost cause at this point. Tune in next week for the funeral.

Shameless 

Hey a really enjoyable episode. That's different. Frank still doesn't offer much more than a catalyst to start fires for Fiona to put out but if that's what the character is, I'm OK with that. I just wish they weren't wasting a talent like William H. Macy to fill that role. Lip and Ian continue to be the most interesting on all the Gallagher clan with Ian revealing to a girl at school he's gay. Unfortunately for Lip that revelation came too late to save him a beating at the hands of the Milkovich brothers.


The Aunt Ginger stuff brought a nice bit of levity to a sometimes depressing household and gave Debbie a place in the episode. It was important to get to know Debbie a little before next week's episode when she apparently steals a baby from somewhere.


This was the first week there weren't lulls where I was bored with what I was watching. Hopefully, things will continue looking up in the weeks to come.

Spartacus & Portlandia

Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

When you tune in to Spartacus you expect three things: blood, breasts and betrayal. The prequel series to Spartacus: Blood and Sand delivered all three. Where Blood and Sand told the gladiatorial birth and rise of Spartacus, Gods of the Arena is poised to tell the story of Crixus' rise from a worthless slave to the greatest gladiator in the house of Batiatus. I'm also interested to see Oenomaus elevated to the role of Doctore and being removed from the roster of gladiators. The lovely Jaime Murray, who was last saw as Dexter's psychotic British girlfriend, joins the cast a Gaia this season's sexy, conniving, female infiltrator in the house of Batiatus. Sure the writing, blood and acting are over the top but it's Spartacus. It's like watching Cinemax with swords but without the guilt.


Portlandia

So what's a guy like Fred Armisen to do when he gets dumped by Peggy Olson? The answer of course is you go out and make a sketch comedy series for IFC. And if you're going to do that the logic partner would the the former guitarist for a now defunct all girl indie band, Carrie Brownstein. The first episode of Portlandia had a few laugh out loud moments and a few more that were right on the cusp. The adult hide and seek league and the opening musical number were by far my favorite sketches. The Steve Buscemi sketch was close but it took me have to the sketch to finally realize Fred Armisen was actually playing a middle aged woman instead of a middle aged hippy burned out man. Overall there were enough laughs to bring me back next week plus Kyle MacLachlan and Aubrey Plaza are special guests next week. I'm not going to miss that.

The Hobart ApeDonkeys: Netflix Reviews-1/19/11

Inception - Should See - Tell me if you've heard this one before. Movie has a mysterious or very ambiguous ending leading everyone to believe what they just watched was better than it actually was or was intensely profound. No doubt Inception was cool. It looked great, had some terrific (mostly) actors and a director who has done some of the best movies of the past decade. So what's the problem? Well the premise mostly. First of all you want someone to break apart their energy company? That's your big problem? Secondly, can't all of us think of about 4 million easier ways to convince someone to sell their company before we get to infiltrating their dreams? Even if this is the issue and this is the path we've chosen, I still don't understand why the "anaesthesiologist" needs to go into the dream. Wouldn't that guy be better used awake and making sure the target doesn't wake up? I know what you're thinking "you've got it all wrong the target was Cobb and the entire mission was a manipulation of his dream." OK, then basically we just experienced a Christopher Nolan effects masturbation porn film because in that case the film had not purpose or point what so ever. If we get past the plot issues, the fact that it's at least half an hour too long and that the third dream level is pointless, we're still left with Juno who is a terrible actress and getting worse by the movie. I kind of swore her movies off after Whip It but if she's going to be showing up in ensemble pieces, I could be in trouble for years to come. I know I've spent a lot of time pointing out what is wrong with the movie but even as a movie that rests mostly on its visual prowess, it is a hell of a lot better than garbage like the Matrix sequels. I was just didn't think Nolan, a director known for well crafted, though provoking films, lived up to expectations.

The Town - Must See - If I had told you ten years ago Ben Affleck would be directing better movies than Jon Favreau and Kevin Smith, would you have believed it? I know Ben won an Oscar for co-writing Good Will Hunting, but as his career developed I think everyone assumed Matt Damon was the real talent behind the duo. Now as Favreau has entered his Lucas/Cameron style over substance period and Smith has always had a Dave Kingman like career, Affleck has now directed two of the better films over the past couple of years. He was smart enough to stick to what they knew, Boston area crime dramas in both. If you haven't seen Gone Baby Gone I highly recommend it and now I can equally recommend The Town. This movie about a group of local bank robbers led by Doug (Affleck) start to get nervous when they realize one of their latest robbery victims lives in the neighborhood. Doug soon finds himself torn between his loyalty to is partners and the woman he wants to leave the life for. Co-star Jeremy Renner delivers another unrelenting, high intensity performance as Doug's best friend and partner in crime. If you haven't already, see it. You'll like it plus Don Draper and Kobayashi are in it.

The Other Guys - Skip it - This is just another example of throwing names in a crap movie to make money. I don't blame Will Ferrell, he's been a purveyor of garbage for years with the occasional gem mixed in. Marky Mark however, (and yes if you're going to make shit movies I'm gonna call you Marky Mark) I have to totally reconsider The Fighter after sitting through this turd for two hours. By the way, if you're hellbent on making a piece of crap at least have the decency to keep it to 90 minutes. Anyway, I think I laughed four times during this movie and the moments weren't memorable enough that I can tell you why. As his penance, I'm proposing The Fighter and everyone connected to it be stripped of any Oscar consideration. As consumers we must start punishing these people for the chunks of time they thieve from our lives.

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia - Must See - Have you seen The Dancing Outlaw? If so then this is a must see follow up. If you haven't then the recommended order would be to see The Dancing Outlaw first but that's not a necessity. The Whites are dysfunctional, drug addicted, white trash, West Virginia hill billies. This year in the life documentary made by the producers of Jackass is hilarious, appalling, pathetic and a bit sad at the same time. If you're like the rest of us by the end of the movie you'll find yourself wanting to snort lines Oxycontin and looking for a fistfight.

The Room - Depends - Oh Hi Readers. When I was watching this I didn't know there was a midnight screening going on at the River Oaks theater at the same time. I wish I had known because that is the appropriate venue for a movie like this. This is one of those movies that is so bad it's good but like most other movies of that ilk it should be enjoyed in the company of others. This is a movie to watch with friends or other fans so everyone can join in the mockery. This is not a movie to be watched on a Saturday night when you're looking for something good or thought provoking to watch.

The Hobart Shakespeareans - Must See - I love watching documentaries about people who strive to inspire others. I have a number of family members who are teachers and many more friends who have chosen teaching as their vocation. I cannot recommend highly enough that all teachers see this documentary. Hobart Elementary is one of the largest elementary schools in the US and is also situated in one of the nations worst areas in inner city Los Angeles. Fifth grade teacher Rafe Esquith has developed a curriculum for his class that challenges his students to learn far more than the average fifth grader. Esquith not only challenges his students but holds them accountable for learning now and continuing to learn beyond his classroom. If more of our teachers taught with this type of force and passion our country would be in a much better place now.

ApeDonkey Power Rankings - 1/17/11

 Today was Martin Luther King day and with schools being closed I had the kids at home all day. It is damn near impossible to write more than three consecutive words with a 6 & 1 year old crawling up you butt all day. Take that as an excuse and an apology if this week's power rankings aren't up snuff. Then again it's a free blog, so you can go screw yourself if you don't like what you read today.

Top 5



1. Ricky Gervais - I didn't watch the Golden Globes last night because unless it's produced by the Bang Bros. I have no interest is watching a bunch of "stars" jerk each other off. However, I did spend about half an hour watching clips of Ricky Gervais killing it. Anytime someone works in a Tom Cruise/John Travolta gay joke on national television they get the top spot in the ApeDonkey power rankings. Based solely on the Youtube clips I saw, Gervais was great. It was like watching a roast in which the roatee didn't know they were going to be roasted. I guess more than a few of the "stars" were offended and Ricky Gervais has been banned from future Golden Globes. Good. Yours is by far the dumbest of all the award shows. You don't deserve a great host like Gervais. I'd like to think people wouldn't waste their time with it anymore but I think we all know that would be giving people too much credit for being smart.

2. My Netflix account - Just out of curiosity I decided to see how much I'm paying per movie for my Netflix account. I know I'm an extreme case and regardless of what I found there was no chance I was canceling my subscription. I'm far too lazy to go to a brick & mortar movie store and the Red Box kiosks just don't have enough selection. What I found though was a little surprising and extremely pleasing. I figured $22/mo or $264/yr is what I'm paying for my Netflix account. Between traditional discs and streaming, I watched 262 movies. Yeah, I know that's not normal. That comes out to $1.01/movie. You can't beat that. Especially when a movie ticket is somewhere around $10 these days and that's if you're willing to slum it and not watch the 3D version.

3. The United League of Dip Shits - I don't know if you all felt it but there was a very noticeable tremor in the force this weekend. Three of the least likeable, even dispicable quarterbacks in the NFL led their respective teams to the conference championship game. You know who I'm talking about The Rapist, Baby Bama Bangs and The Dirty Sanchez. BBB, the owner of the worst body language in the NFL was somehow able to lead the Bears over those vaunted 7-9 Seahawks. In fairness, BBB was pretty damn good on the day but still, it was the Seahawks. The Dirty Sanchez was just better than bad. This is his calling card. TDS is always just better than bad for 3 quarters, only to turn it around and play well in the 4th. This game was decided by the Jets defense though. They pounded Brady all day and completely took the Pats receivers out of the game. It's never a bad thing when the Brady/Belichick evil consortium goes down. Now we come to The Rapist. He likes to do three things 1) drink 2) force unsuspecting girls to have sex with him in bar restrooms 3) knock the Ravens out of the playoffs. Well kudos to you Big Ben you've accomplished all three this year. Here's to rooting for the only QB left in the playoffs that doesn't make you want to strangle someone. Go Pack.

4. Early 90's Rock - Maybe I'm just being nostalgic or maybe it's soon to be 20th anniversaries of Nirvana's Nevermind and Pearl Jam's Ten but I've been reemersing myself in the music of the early 90's. This was a time when people of my own age finally had a say it what was being played on the radio and bands we loved or could relate to were finally breaking through. Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden all exploded on to the radio and washed away the hair bands like Poison who had dominated for the previous half decade. Established bands like REM were finally finding a main stream audience and those of us who had followed them for years were saying "I told you so." I've been playing this music constantly for a week now, trying to ingrain the sound in my kids' heads. There's a Drive-by Truckers song that paints a pretty good picture of what was going on at that time and whenever I hear it I always want to pop in Alice in Chain's Dirt and embrace my inner junkie.

Find more artists like Drive-By Truckers at Myspace Music

5. The Rainard School Broadway Musical Review - And what is so great about this? Well let me tell you. The passing of TRSBMR means the infinite loop of Supercalifragilistiecspialidocious and So Long Farewell will finally end. I have been tortured by these songs for months now. Whether is was my kid singing those same verses for three solid hours on the way to San Antonio or her wanting to listen to the CD the music teacher gave her, I could escape the music. Julie Andrews went from being a weird fetish subject to my oppressor over the course of a few weeks. Even as I write this my kid is belting out "There's No Business Like Show Business." So instead of my nightmare coming to an end, it's likely to be only the beginning.


Bottom 5

1. Joe Flacco - Gob Bluthe had a bad day on Saturday. James Harrison & Co. were coming at him from all angles and you could literally see his testicles retracting up into his person. The Steelers beat the crap out of him and he didn't respond. It's becoming clear that Flacco just isn't a clutch player in mold of Brady, Manning or Rothlisberger. He looks closer to Schaub than those upper tier guys to me. A guy you can win with but unless the circumstances are stacked in his favor he's probably not going to take you all the way to a championship.

2. Guys in Ed Hardy - Tom Brady was sacked 5 times on Sunday and hit many more times than that. The unfortunate side effect of this for the douche bags of the world is that every time Brady takes a shot, guys in Ed Hardy clothes can also feel the hit. Maybe you have one of those friends. He wears ridiculously printed shirts. His jeans look like his mom got jiggy on the pockets with her new bedazzler. His hats all have a really flat brim and may even be turned to the side or backwards for increased douchebaggery. Just take solace in the fact that every time you saw Brady take one to the ribs, those fine threads he's so proud of were causing him wince in pain.

3. Adam Sandler & James Cameron -When is the last time you really wanted to see an Adam Sandler or James Cameron movie. Yeah, I can't remember either. Wait that's not true. It was Punch Drunk Love and Terminator 2. This weekend everywhere I turned all I saw were ads for Just Go With It and Sanctum. I have to give Sandler and Aniston for that matter credit, there is nothing about a terrible movie that scares either one of them. Combined they have amassed mountains of blockbuster refuse specifically designed to bilk their hardworking fans out of their money simply by putting their names on a poster. Shamful. The best thing I can say about Just Go With It is at least it's not Little Fockers. James Cameron is an entirely different beast all together. He at least strives to make good movies. He just can't seem to accept the notion that a good story is better than a good visual. Titantic and Avatar while both visually superb were terrible naratives. Now comes Sanctum a story about a group of people jumping down a big hole. I'm sure it'll have some cool underwater shots and plenty of action but ultimately I'm not going to see Sanctum for the same reason I never read Super Fudge. It just sounds nasty.

4. Disgusting food - We didn't feel like cooking Saturday night so we took the kids out to Willie's Ice House. Though the food isn't particularly good, Willie's works well because 1) it's loud 2) the have a sand box for Audrey to play in 3) making a mess is OK. I usually get the fried catfish because you kind of have to try to screw up fried catfish and my daughter likes it so we can split one order. When she told me she didn't want the catfish, I was left with a delima. Order the tried and true or step out on a limb. It was cold and dreary out and I wanted something hot so I decided on the special. It was either gumbo or tortilla soup and 4 fried shrimp. I went for the tortilla soup over gumbo because, well I don't eat ditch water. Bad choice. The tortilla soup was barely more than luke warm when it arrived at the table and as I started spooning through it the chicken in the bowl was either the neck, gizzard or butthole. After a few bites I couldn't take it anymore so I just moved on to the shrimp. The shrimp was cold too but the first 2 at least tasted OK. Then came the third shrimp, which tasted like it had been put on the plate straight from a diaper genie. I'm sure we'll go back at some point but rest assured I won't be straying far from what I know.

5. Sunday Night Television - I shared my thoughts on the Sunday night lineup this morning but there was a huge issue I didn't address. There was entirely too little Amanda Seyfried, Emmy Rossum, Gennifer Goodwin, Carla Gugino and Addison Timlin for my taste. A Sunday night should not pass in which these five ladies don't take up 50% of the available screen time. Instead of arguing my point further, I'll just leave you with this exhibits A through E.